wow nice story.
I'm actually considering now using illuminate Starmie, just so the opponent has to forfeit when they think that it will cure from natural cure.
Lol, that's exactly the reason why whenever I sleep a Blissey, I never sleep the switch at the risk it's of the Serene Grace variety.
Traitor ;_;
It was a really good warstory by the way. Keep doing them!
Thanks, I just recently read yours aswell, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Damn you. Roserade was supposed to be _my_ secret really awesome pokemon :-( You've taken away my lightning with this warstory. DAMN YOU!!!
But yeah. Roserade is awesome.
You mean thunder, right? :p
I'm actually far more bored of Cressy than Skarm. I really hate that damn duck...no Bliss and Electivire is always good, though.
You're a good writer, but as you predicted, it did turn into tl;dr for me around when Mence got KO'd. I think you can tighten up your writing a fair bit. A couple examples.:
This is perfect here. You explain what you're thinking and drop in a quick quip. Excellent.
It's ones like these that dragged for me. You already aggrandize quite a bit, personally, I don't think it's necessary over and over. This could have been made much more succinct. I think you could have done something like:
I was in trouble now that Reflect wore off. I knew that the Wish was meant for Garchomp, and I was torn over whether Vaporeon would stay in. Bauer might predict Ice Beam, or may be thinking I'd Thunderbolt Vaporeon. Seeing as I don't actually HAVE Ice Beam on Starmie...
That shaves off some length and takes out some things that I didn't really feel added anything but length to the story.
I hope this feels like constructive criticism and not just criticism, it just ended up a little too wordy for me. You had me with the actual battle, but I ended up skimming more than anything else.
EDIT: Oh, and as I've gone back and looked through it some more - I'm with you, Gliscor doesn't really do much on my team either. It's just that if he's not there I'm basically waving a huge banner that screams "SWEEP ME HERACROSS!"
Yeah, I do agree Cresselia's a bit overused, though startlingly less than I expected. (I've only seen about 3 or 4 on wifi, but then again, I don't really keep track). However, one is hard pressed to find good walls who aren't used too often. Vapreon, Umbreon, ahnd maybe Regice are a few I can name off the top of my head.
ALso, thanks for the CC. I like to strive for perfection, but I definitely yearn to hear if I could have improved on something. I'll keep that in mind; I'd have to agree that I did overextend somewhat.
Great job. IMO this was the best written warstory so far. It's good writers like you that keep me from writing warstories lol. Good match-up and props for using Roserade effectively. Gliscor did set up SR for you so it wasn't that worthless, it's just hard to use it when your opponent doesn't actually use a Tyranitar or Heracross lol.
EDIT: I'm looking forward to more warstories coming from you in the future. =)
Hopefully that will happen, I recorded a lot of battles before I found one that satisfied what I wanted to write.
MinorthreaT said:
Excellent warstory, the humor made it much more interesting, as stated by the number of people who replied previous to me. I had no idea that
roserade was so good. Although some of its effectiveness in the battle I think might have been to your opponent not exactly knowing what to do with it. That might be a huge misdiagnosis on my part, but that`s what I think. Oh yeah, nice team btw. people bag on Cresselia for being OU now, but I liked the one that you used, interesting moveset. That critical hit explosion was hysterical.
I'd have to agree, and I believe he admitted that earlier. I find that it's easier to counter large, known threats (Garchomp, despite my lack of Ice Beam) rather than things you have never faced nor had any experience with (Nasty Plot Crobat, for one, which once swept my team because I expected physical).
To everyone: Thanks for reading, I actually never thought I would have gotten this kind of response. (I thought the length would be the killer.)