north(east?) europe
bo7: neomon (1-4)
bo5: d2 (3-0)
bo5: alice (2-2)
sm: tsc (1-2)
sm: blazikin (0-3)
oras: ink (2-1)
bw: bilbooo (1-2)
mg: fan (2-2)
GRONKY THE TRAITOR!! FUCK GRONKY2020!
Leru ur a bum. this team was saved by d2 (lost to smb) pooling with boat ncal caca and zoey (transitioned and decided to name herself after a muthafucking league of legends character Lmao.) neomon lost to BIRD AND DOC1203 and shockingly got fingered in tb lmao. neuk needs a lerusignal or at least like an hctc signal bilbooo is not gonna save the city.
okay manic and barely comprehensable Mubs rant aside let's take a look at what went wrong for this team. in the past this team has lowkey underpeformed, it's kind of been a us west situation where they usually have a solid chunk of pl starters/general tour players ready but fall a littttttttle short. this year was no different, these guys all had experience except for avalugg body press enthusiast bilboo. poggers!!!
so what happened in pools? tsc did bad in wc again, neomonster couldn't farm bo7, blazikin (aka the guy that had old tour records so bad the sheet was created) went 0-3 (i love u melo but still), and d2 had the only 3-0. all while hctc, dez and gronky sat on the bench. this team treaded water with a good ish ss but terrible sm with decent to good old gens. overall a semi predictable quite boring occourence in pools. it's fine tho central is the ceo of pools tb -> finals so if they can do it why not neu?!
so okay now it was time for a sweaty threeway no homo and these ties had to be BROKEN.
North Europe vs US Central
SS BO7: neomon vs
Nalei
SS BO5: D2TheW vs crucify
MG BO5: 187 Fan vs
zioziotrip
North Europe vs US West
SS BO7: neomon vs
Trashuny
SS BO5: Aliss vs
Waylaid
SM BO5: DezShizzels vs
Elo Bandit
and this was the most nonsensical shit ive ever seen. neu is not exactly known for their genius tiebreak decisions, executing an innovative strategy of putting 6 unique players in tb last year and unfortunately getting left in the dust by central. this may have made sense to some people at the time but if you've ever been a good player on a bad team you've just thought to yourself man wouldn't it be cool if i could just play multiple slots? (insert le epic ghosting joke here) but anyway in a 3 way tb, you can, but these guys put a bunch of plumbers and off duty firemen in it and unsuprsingly got smashed by crucify and nalei and maybe indians? i dont remember. realistically you should just put your best players in tb with very few exceptions and those guys didn't do it. fast forward to this year, and let's breakdown every stupid decision in this tb from neu.
1. neomonster in bo7 vs both. this dude lost bo7 to bird and doc. he should not be tiebreaking vs good players if he is losing to those two individuals. cmon.
2. d2 only playing 1 ss game, and vs central. realistically it would be an entire chokejob for central to drop 1 of 2 tbs vs either of these weak ass teams, so putting d2 against the team with the most broken tb in the tour and maybe uhhhh in any 1v1 team tour ever and not vs US FUCKIN WEST is just so fuckin strange. west ss gets farmed. d2 is the ss farmer. idk why these ideas never merged in neu's brain to form an idea. if this decision was made cus d2 didn't want to get ~fatigued~ in 2 matchups then fuckin sack vs central and try ur best to take down west's historically penis ss. they only needed to win 1 measly tb (unless reset but thats not happening with centrals broken as shit tb) so winning at least 1 should be the goal. i understand neomon beat waylaid in pools but if you have a player who just went 3-0 in ss (farming phiwings btw) you should put them in vs the team with a weak ss.
3. gronky nowhere to be found. this dude is just good at the game and i personally would put him like uhhhhh muthafuckin ANYWHERE? if gronky isnt being slotted to randomly clutch high pressure games then why is he even on the gosh diddly darn team in the first place!?
4. dezshizzles en tb. i just don't see a reason to put him here. if tsc runs from tb as he has started to do lately, i would put gronky in and feed. he had a random clutch sm win in pl5 finals. you could honestly even make the case ink should have played, pl put him in a lot of clutch situations where he had to be THAT GUY and he was in semis. he played sm when it was cg and played in wc4. there's 2 good people to feed right dere but nope dez was in kekw. dez was great in pl5 playoffs but overall i think ink is the hotter player. so overall this makes dez the 4th best sm clutch player on the team and the fact that he was in this tb was kind of head scratching.
5. 187 fan in mickeygen vs zio. now look. some people will call this mickeygen tb pick dumb but i actually agree with it. crucify went negative in it and neu is just straight up outclassed in tb so might as well flip. you just need to put a powerful individual there who comes close to zio's skill. 187 fan is not that, respectfully. im not trying to 2 hand jerk zio here, he's not as insanely good as im making him out to be, but he's the better player and just uhhhh carried an unassuming pl team on his back to a ring by winning 9 times. gronky or neomonster vs zio is fine if you think flipping is your best bet, but fan is just a tier or two below zio, and with little clutch experience. i mean i don't think he's gone positive in a team tour ever tbh (woulda been if he didn't tb here, sad!), so putting HIM in THIS TIER as YOUR TB PICK went as well as it was expected to imotbhjs.
FIVE throws in 2 tiebreaks is actually fuckin insane dawg. THERE'S ONLY SIX FUCKIN SLOTS!!!! they picked the right tiers but when it was time to submit lineups these guys pulled a marcus dumb and forgot how to slot in a way that makes any rational sense. if these guys are ever fortunate enough to find themselves in a qualifying tb in the future I DEMAND that they just put their best players in and don't think twice. if they lose, they lose. ggs. even with this insanely suboptimal tb they took west to last game x3 which shows they were putting up a good fight. their mid players were pretty close but at the end of the day they got outclutched by goddamn us west.
GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED: this tour was good experience for quite a few people. it let blazikin derust, it let bilboo get some good experience and let fan get back into playing if he wants to continue doing that. neu can cope and say this was a win in the long run even tho making playoffs would really be the only thing that makes that true, as playoffs experience is quite valuable (unless ur gronky losing to tol).
WHO'S TO BLAME: whoever made these tiebreak decisions. cmon breh. you can't even blame rosa for this region, they had all the tools at their disposal. also their tb players i guess for not winning one series LMAO.
LEGACY WATCH: the netherlands europe won the first 3 world cups into missing playoffs 3 times in a row with viable teams. I'VE DECIDED that they were carried by liam latraumont in wc1, tonyflygon in wc2, and milan in wc3. no solar, you didn't carry that team. anyways, the pieces that are left are average to slightly above average, but seemingly not enough to get the chip. neomonster bragging about clutch gene in pools into double game 7 tb loss may be the most ironically dumb thing to happen in 1v1 in recent memory. the legacy of neu right now is the team that was kinda in the right place at the right time 3 times and now with their best players retired being an aggressively mid team that falls short of the playoffs with some mind bogglingly dumb tb decisions.
tldr they did ok in pools then threw a tb kekw
NBA COMPARISON: THE PISTONS.
THESE GUYS BOTH HAVE A LOT OF OLD TITLES BUT RECENTLY ARE A NON FACTOR WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING PLAYOFFS AND ARE GENERALLY NOT VERY INTERESTING TEAMS.