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RPSI Doubles, round 1
- Thread starter aamto
- Start date
- Status
Fight 3
60 Ghetto Black Chicks (reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCdmiZyyGjQ)
'rabid red wings fans with a cooler of octopi'
vs
The only homeless man in an Almost Utopia who has 8 fingers and 7 toes.
beats so funky even my prosthetic toes are tapping
The only reason Almost Utopia was "almost" utopia is that it possessed two flaws: ghetto black chicks and rabid Red Wings fans. Despite their best efforts, the Utopian State of Hoboland could not get rid of these two groups. Taken alone, they would barely be a threat, but they would constantly band together. Some have hypothesized that this is due to octopi tasting strangely like chicken.
In order to eliminate this threat, the Secretary General of Hoboland dispatched Jiminy, the only hobo to have eight fingers and seven (prosthetic) toes. The master plan was to enter the scourge's hideout with a boom box and blast the entire discography of Funky Kong, which had been banned for making everybody listening to it literally dance to death. Funky Kong had been, of course, sentenced to death for this so he couldn't serve for the cause, but (few) other people would manage to survive his beats - Jiminy, for example, with his prosthetic toes, could dance almost infinitely long.
The plan worked beautifully: none of the rabid Red Wings fans could keep up the rhythm, especially since their poorly designed shirts would retain all the sweat. The ghetto black chicks had more experience with funk, but most of them were too fat to see their feet let alone dance on them. As all the enemies of the State died of funk related fatigue, all the remaining octopi suddenly bounced out of the cooler they were in, revived by the funk. Jiminy and the octopi then went on to dance forever.
Winners:
The only homeless man in an Almost Utopia who has 8 fingers and 7 toes.
beats so funky even my prosthetic toes are tapping
60 Ghetto Black Chicks (reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCdmiZyyGjQ)
'rabid red wings fans with a cooler of octopi'
vs
The only homeless man in an Almost Utopia who has 8 fingers and 7 toes.
beats so funky even my prosthetic toes are tapping
The only reason Almost Utopia was "almost" utopia is that it possessed two flaws: ghetto black chicks and rabid Red Wings fans. Despite their best efforts, the Utopian State of Hoboland could not get rid of these two groups. Taken alone, they would barely be a threat, but they would constantly band together. Some have hypothesized that this is due to octopi tasting strangely like chicken.
In order to eliminate this threat, the Secretary General of Hoboland dispatched Jiminy, the only hobo to have eight fingers and seven (prosthetic) toes. The master plan was to enter the scourge's hideout with a boom box and blast the entire discography of Funky Kong, which had been banned for making everybody listening to it literally dance to death. Funky Kong had been, of course, sentenced to death for this so he couldn't serve for the cause, but (few) other people would manage to survive his beats - Jiminy, for example, with his prosthetic toes, could dance almost infinitely long.
The plan worked beautifully: none of the rabid Red Wings fans could keep up the rhythm, especially since their poorly designed shirts would retain all the sweat. The ghetto black chicks had more experience with funk, but most of them were too fat to see their feet let alone dance on them. As all the enemies of the State died of funk related fatigue, all the remaining octopi suddenly bounced out of the cooler they were in, revived by the funk. Jiminy and the octopi then went on to dance forever.
Winners:
The only homeless man in an Almost Utopia who has 8 fingers and 7 toes.
beats so funky even my prosthetic toes are tapping
aamto
on whom the three Fates smile
nah, i'm in the process now! finals are killer, you know
reserved for my stories
Fight 3
In an Almost Utopia, there exists only proper people with proper names. Names like Christine and Beth and the like. Even the black people had gotten the picture: they had gone from crazy names like Lotonda and Sheniqua to civilized names. The utopia had reached the point in time where only 60 odd-named (BAN ME PLEASE)s were left. The problem here is that everyone knows (BAN ME PLEASE)s procreate like bunnies. The enlightened lawmakers and leaders of Almost Utopia were fearful the 60 ghetto black chicks would spread the word of uncivilization, so they dispatched the only thing they could think of: beats. extremely funk beats.
the creator of the beats was a homeless man (he chooses to be homeless because of his 8 fingers and 7 toes). although he's fucked up aesthetically, he does have 2 proesthetic figners and 2 prosthetic toes. He originally had 3 prosthetic toes, but the beats he created were so funky, he tapped away that last toe in a furious tapping session.
anyways, the plan was that the beats would be used to control the black chicks, just like rap music in today's age controls current-day (BAN ME PLEASE)s. the idea was that by creating music so simple, even uncivilized mongoloids with uncivilized names could contribute, they would abandon their heathenish ways and embrace Utopia (and names like Lauren and Nicole as apposed to Grapequanquisha). Unfortunately, the black chicks had joined forces with the fans of the only uncivilized sport left: Hockey. and these weren't any ordinary fans, these were Red Wing fans with coolers and coolers of octopi, which would keep them fed forever. In an ironic twist, the Red Wings hockey team was also all black, making them the only black things in hockey.
while raging after their latest game, the black chicks and red wings fans were throwing many octopi everywhere, with the ink shooters going crazy, creating EVEN MORE blackness. Almost Utopia was going to be destroyed. But the homeless man started playing his beats, starting with toe tapping. The ghetto black girls immediately mellowed out and started grooving; their white Red Wings fans partners didn't. In a fit of unrelated black girl rage (we've all seen it), they turn on the Red Wings fans and "bitch them out." Then they just keep on keepin on, evoking memories of awesome black man music, like Jazz.
Years later, the 60 ghetto black chicks have given birth to many new black people...named Miles and Louis. Good names for black people.
Winner: Beats so funky and the homeless man
Fight 4
Welcome to #warau said the sign written outside user wormbot's house. everyone knew wormbot as the friendly man, who was easily bent to your bidding (he has no will of his own, after all). But wormbot was trying to toughen up; he had hired the Jamaican national hockey team (and all you people can't believe that Jamaica has a hockey team) to teach him the manliest of sports! Sadly, he had to wear pads again. He endured.
One the other side, other users got angered at wormbot; his toughening up with sports had made him a more independent person. No more commanding it to unban a user or to give you power. No one liked that; an indepedent, thinking wormbot is a threat to all with his dictator-like policies. So the others crafted a fool-proof plan: no matter how independent wormbot got, he always listened to his internet crush: Misaki-chi. So they crafted a life-sized replica with a button on her forhead.
the Misaki replica was sent to wormbot's house. Of course he pushed the button, much to the dismay of the hockey team. and of course the Misaki doll had a doomsday device built in:
LASER BOWSER
Misaki transformed into LASER BOWSER and, with a ^_^ on his face, he used his laser beams to incinerate wormbot and his dictator like ways and to melt the skating rink of the Jamaican hockey team. they would never skate again.
Winner: Laser Bowser and the Misaki replica.
That should be all for r1! I apologize for how long it took. Next round will be up possibly later tonight but most probably tomorrow. Now updated with whoever submitted what
reserved for my stories
Fight 3
In an Almost Utopia, there exists only proper people with proper names. Names like Christine and Beth and the like. Even the black people had gotten the picture: they had gone from crazy names like Lotonda and Sheniqua to civilized names. The utopia had reached the point in time where only 60 odd-named (BAN ME PLEASE)s were left. The problem here is that everyone knows (BAN ME PLEASE)s procreate like bunnies. The enlightened lawmakers and leaders of Almost Utopia were fearful the 60 ghetto black chicks would spread the word of uncivilization, so they dispatched the only thing they could think of: beats. extremely funk beats.
the creator of the beats was a homeless man (he chooses to be homeless because of his 8 fingers and 7 toes). although he's fucked up aesthetically, he does have 2 proesthetic figners and 2 prosthetic toes. He originally had 3 prosthetic toes, but the beats he created were so funky, he tapped away that last toe in a furious tapping session.
anyways, the plan was that the beats would be used to control the black chicks, just like rap music in today's age controls current-day (BAN ME PLEASE)s. the idea was that by creating music so simple, even uncivilized mongoloids with uncivilized names could contribute, they would abandon their heathenish ways and embrace Utopia (and names like Lauren and Nicole as apposed to Grapequanquisha). Unfortunately, the black chicks had joined forces with the fans of the only uncivilized sport left: Hockey. and these weren't any ordinary fans, these were Red Wing fans with coolers and coolers of octopi, which would keep them fed forever. In an ironic twist, the Red Wings hockey team was also all black, making them the only black things in hockey.
while raging after their latest game, the black chicks and red wings fans were throwing many octopi everywhere, with the ink shooters going crazy, creating EVEN MORE blackness. Almost Utopia was going to be destroyed. But the homeless man started playing his beats, starting with toe tapping. The ghetto black girls immediately mellowed out and started grooving; their white Red Wings fans partners didn't. In a fit of unrelated black girl rage (we've all seen it), they turn on the Red Wings fans and "bitch them out." Then they just keep on keepin on, evoking memories of awesome black man music, like Jazz.
Years later, the 60 ghetto black chicks have given birth to many new black people...named Miles and Louis. Good names for black people.
Winner: Beats so funky and the homeless man
Fight 4
Welcome to #warau said the sign written outside user wormbot's house. everyone knew wormbot as the friendly man, who was easily bent to your bidding (he has no will of his own, after all). But wormbot was trying to toughen up; he had hired the Jamaican national hockey team (and all you people can't believe that Jamaica has a hockey team) to teach him the manliest of sports! Sadly, he had to wear pads again. He endured.
One the other side, other users got angered at wormbot; his toughening up with sports had made him a more independent person. No more commanding it to unban a user or to give you power. No one liked that; an indepedent, thinking wormbot is a threat to all with his dictator-like policies. So the others crafted a fool-proof plan: no matter how independent wormbot got, he always listened to his internet crush: Misaki-chi. So they crafted a life-sized replica with a button on her forhead.
the Misaki replica was sent to wormbot's house. Of course he pushed the button, much to the dismay of the hockey team. and of course the Misaki doll had a doomsday device built in:
LASER BOWSER
Misaki transformed into LASER BOWSER and, with a ^_^ on his face, he used his laser beams to incinerate wormbot and his dictator like ways and to melt the skating rink of the Jamaican hockey team. they would never skate again.
Winner: Laser Bowser and the Misaki replica.
That should be all for r1! I apologize for how long it took. Next round will be up possibly later tonight but most probably tomorrow. Now updated with whoever submitted what
- Status