ITT: post the dumbest injuries you've incurred

[Martin]

See title. The stupider the better.

Reading about Hula's childhood fear of being sucked into the top of an escalator if he didn't get off in time reminded me of something that happened when I was maybe 6, 7, 8 years old that comes pretty close to that.

I got bored while waiting for my mum to finish looking at some rack of clothes in a store, so wandered around the corner and started pushing with both hands against the rail of a nearby escalator in the opposite direction to how the belt was moving. Like the idiot kid that I was, I refused to stop as the belt pushed my hands further around, and it eventually pulled my right arm all the way into the casing at the bottom (it was one of those old open-fronted ones that idt shops are allowed to install nowadays for this exact reason). I started screaming in pain, which finally caught Mum's attention, and luckily a nearby staff member was copped-on enough to hit the emergency stop button—I'm not sure whether I'd still have a right arm had she not—so I managed to escape with a dislocated arm/shoulder.

 

[earl]

Got punched in the face really hard last weekend

 

[Adeleine]

this is more of an injury i should have gotten

so there was this zipline / obstacle place suspended like 20 feet up over alligators. to make sure you don't fall, you alternate between attaching the first cord and the second cord to the main line as you go, so that one cord is always attached. apparently i thought alternating the cords took too long, because i got caught twice with not having any cord attached

oops

 

[Astra]

one time i was sitting on the top of my friend's bunk bed and i leaned my head off from the side and the ceiling fan hit me in the forehead, still have the bump and scar today

 

[Oglemi]

Almost knocked myself out by banging my head on a steel bar. It's a support beam that's just short enough to be below eye level where we park pallets of product at work, and something fell off the back of the pallet as I was parking it. Stooped down enough to get in and pick it up, remembered to stoop to get out but stood back up too quickly and smashed the top of my head on the bar. Definitely saw stars. 0/10 would not recommend

shelving pic for visualization

 

[chimp]

feel into a 12ft x 15ft cast iron vat of pure liquid acetone

 

[VTaxi]

Very intelligent man (me) ran into a glass wall bc my brother won some big money for new year's eve, breaking my front tooth.
BTW that money went to the dentist, great way to start off the year.

 

[monkfish]

when I was a kid I wondered what it would feel like if I stuck my hand into the car boot (trunk) as my dad was closing it. turns out: not great

 

[LordThemberchaud]

I once ran into a pole on a cruise ship.

 

[Adeleine]

one time i was sitting on the top of my friend's bunk bed and i leaned my head off from the side and the ceiling fan hit me in the forehead, still have the bump and scar today

my irrational fear of fan-related injuries is manifest. thank you for taking the bullet so i didn't have to

 

[phoopes]

When I was about eight years old I slipped and fell in the shower and my buttcheek came down right on the faucet. My ass started bleeding, and I still have a small scar there

 

[Oglemi]

Another one: Have a star-shaped scar on my knuckles from where a branch poked me from when I ran our three-wheeler straight into a bush. Could have been way worse and I don't even remember how it happened, I just remember going straight at the bush and fsr didn't/couldn't turn out of the way.

 

[Plague von Karma]

I got hit around the head with a genuine boomerang as a kid

 

[Bughouse]

I cut my ankle clean through down to the bone on the refrigerator door when I tried to open it to get chocolate syrup. I had just opened and shut the freezer door to get ice cream, and the fridge would sort of pressurize or vacuum seal or whatever after the freezer had been used. I ended up having to pull the fridge door really hard and well, that happened.

 

[Hulavuta]

I got hit around the head with a genuine boomerang as a kid

Lol, my dad used to spank me with his boomerang. No lasting injuries though (un)fortunately.

Reading about Hula's childhood fear of being sucked into the top of an escalator if he didn't get off in time reminded me of something that happened when I was maybe 6, 7, 8 years old that comes pretty close to that.

Very touching, thank you. I guess I will share some of my silliest injuries.

In 2nd grade I stabbed myself in the eye with a mechanical pencil. I don't exactly remember why, I think I was just fiddling around with it and then got it into my eye. Fortunately it was not in my pupil so it didn't impair my vision but there is still a mark there. At least I think it's because of that, maybe it was a dark spot already there. But I definitely stabbed myself in the eye though. I've kinda always wanted to meet Dan Crenshaw and pretend like our eye injuries are comparable and see how he would react!



A more notable injury was in August 2014. I broke my arm playing volleyball, as I was stupidly playing in socks in a gym. I jumped up to get the ball and slipped so I landed on my right arm and broke it. First time I ever broke a bone! The thing is though that I have a reputation of kind of jokingly pretending that I am injured; for example, in dodgeball I may pretend the dodgeball is like a bullet and dramatically fall to the floor and scream in "pain" and lay on the floor for a while (I'm out anyway, so who does it hurt). Anyway so people thought I was joking about the injury and they were trying to go around me and be like "dude come on, get up, we're trying to play here" and took a few seconds for people to actually realize I was actually injured.

The Gym also didn't get cell reception so the guy who called 911 had to keep running all the way out of the gym to talk to them, and then run all the way back in so I could answer whatever they asked. He ran in and said "they say not to eat or drink anything" as I was enjoying my Code Red Mountain Dew my mom brought me to make me feel better. Sad!


It was hard for a few weeks because I am right handed, but it's pretty cool to look back on nowadays. People posted #PRAYFORHULAVUTASARM on my profile, lol. I got surgery on it a few weeks later, they replaced the broken bone with like a metal one or something. I felt like a cyborg or Luke Skywalker or Wolverine or the Winter Soldier or whatever. Metal arm, that's cool as fuck. And the surgery scar is conveniently on the underside of my arm, so all I need to do is like put my hand under my chin thoughtfully and people will see the scar and ask me about it. Great conversation starter! Once you have gotten a "sports-related injury" you automatically become hardcore and cool. The actual circumstances of the event are quite idiotic, but they don't need to know that.

 

[brightobject]

Lol, my dad used to spank me with his boomerang. No lasting injuries though (un)fortunately.

Bide your time until your dad is old and frail. Dig up the old family boomerang out of the warchest and approach his rocking chair, slapping it against ur palm menacingly. He'll ask feebly what you think you're doing, and you'll reply:
"You know what they say about boomerangs, old man..."


for my stupidest injury: i was trying to do a flip off my pullup bar, ended up hitting my head on the crossbar and now have a sizeable dent / bald spot in my head. I remember literally having clumps of my hair fall out from the area around the wound after I fell and trying to hold back my panic lol

 

[GatoDelFuego]

I have totally forgotten about it but when I was about 5 I was in a hair salon waiting for my mom to get a haircut and was spinning around in one of the empty chairs. I spun around so hard that I fell out of the chair and stumbled into a table, my chest got stabbed by the sharp corner of it. It could have been a lot worse because I don't even think I bled very much and I wasn't really injured, but I do have a small scar right in the middle of my chest

 

[Yoshiblaze]

young me got so excited to watch the 2008 Disney Channel Games that I jumped off a chair in my room and landed on something (I think the top of the chair or the bunk bed railing, can't remember) and ended up hurting up my back pretty badly, could barely move for a solid couple hours

worth it for the Disney Channel Games though, it was fire

 

[shadowpea]

fell off a monkey bar head-first. don't even know how that happened

had to get stiches afterward lol

 

[earl]

Oh actual stupid injury (as silly as getting assaulted by a very drunk dude is), when I was in high school I was passively fiddling with a stapler and managed to fire it into my finger. Went all the way thru, only stopped at my nail on the other end. Still don't know why I was playing with a stapler in the first place

 

[Mace]

In my Sophmore year, I got sick for the first time in like 6 years. I was laying down in my room late at night when all of the sudden my nose clogged up. I was laying down on the floor thinking to myself, "I can't breathe." As I suffocated for a good minute, I started to accept the fact that I'll die a stupid death. So after making my peace with my inevitable death, I let out a simple sigh.... MY MOUTH! I totally forgot I can breathe through my mouth and I would of probably died or atleast pass out if I didn't just sigh the moment before. Bro to this day, that was biggest injury to my ego.


Also right after Christmas I deeply cut my finger with a knife while cutting chicken. Might be a cripple the rest of my life dont know yet.

 

[Ununhexium]

a dumb injury i gave to my brother is we were playing street hockey and i took a backswing to shoot and i hit him in the face breaking his two front teeth in half

i felt really bad

 

[Martin]

Oh actual stupid injury (as silly as getting assaulted by a very drunk dude is), when I was in high school I was passively fiddling with a stapler and managed to fire it into my finger. Went all the way thru, only stopped at my nail on the other end. Still don't know why I was playing with a stapler in the first place

I stapled my middle and index fingers together twice in primary school: once because I was using a staple gun and didn't know how to use it properly/safely and once because I was curious about what would happen if I pushed a stapler down on my fingers.

 

[musiquepkmn]

Step 1: Swing baseball bat
Step 2: Swing the baseball bat at high velocity, about 135 degrees around is sufficient
Step 3: release grip of baseball bat
Step 4: Hit innocent onlooker square on the nose with the tip

 

[Ehmcee]

a dumb injury i gave to my brother is we were playing street hockey and i took a backswing to shoot and i hit him in the face breaking his two front teeth in half

i felt really bad

Kind of related, but didn't happen to me.

Was playing soccer with two of my friends (Bob and George for simplicity's sake), and Bob was running over to make a shot, George (for some reason) jumps in front of him, and two of his teeth lodge into Bob's forehead. Broke George's teeth in half, and Bob had to head to the hospital to get the teeth removed from his head. He probably still has teeth residue laying in there up to this day.