International Men's Day

[Dorron]

Today, November 19th, is International Men's Day. However, you could go to the streets and ask people when it is and probably not even one out of a thousand will know when it is. This is very interesting given how International Women's Day is known and celebrated, with dozens of parades and manifestations, all over the world. Probably most of you didn't know about this day until now (I just did two years ago). Men face problems such as:

• A very high suicide rate (over 75% of them)
• A very high homelessness rate (over 78%)
• Most of the homicides are commited against men (over 69%)
• Workplace deaths (over 90% are men)

And the list goes on, such us who gives up on studying both in college and university, fathers having it nearly impossible to have his kids when divorcing... To sume it up, a list of problems nobody seems to care about and should be talked more. Why is one DAY so glorified and the other is completely unknown? Feel free to share your ideas and reasons that could be behind this.

 

[Divine Retribution]

 

[skippergamez]

Why is one DAY so glorified and the other is completely unknown?

1.) Men don’t want to look weak
2.) The far-left feminist movement glorifies it

Obviously toxic masculinity is bad for men’s mental health

 

[Myzozoa]

happy int'l men's day, especially to annoying men :praying_hands: I see you bbs keep your heads up

 

[chimp]

i love men

 

[Local Dog]

i love men

we love you too chimp

I think it's a very important day for personal self reflection and for reflecting on society. The expectations that are put on us men can be very daunting and can grind us down. The conditions we are socialized in are oftentimes very toxic and can give us a great deal of insecurities and a feeling of inferiority

I personally realized that a lot of my issues in life came from the expectations and the ambitions in the image of a socially acceptable man. Somehow, I never felt like I was enough and it made me feel downright suicidal to not be able to achieve this image. And having being laughed at and taken down by other men for talking about being a victim of certain forms of assault isn't particularly a positive experience. This toxicity poisons all of us in some way eventually. Again, it's an important day for self relflection and for reflecting on society

 

[bdt2002]

Speaking as a young man who’s been decently successful in school, I don’t really think there needs to be dedicated days for men and women alike. Let me explain. On paper, having these days would incentivize awareness of the physical and mental struggles experienced by either side. In practice, there’s so much discrepancy over what should be the status quo that any positive feelings advertised on one day of the year mean very little when the remaining 360+ days are spent egging on the problems instead of men and women working together to try and complement one another.

All the holiday’s inclusion does is reinforce the problem. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want or need to be reminded of things like the male suicide rate when I could be using my own time, energy and resources towards finding solutions. So long as I’m respecting both women and men like I was taught growing up, that’s all I can do sometimes, but even then I can make an effort to be a good role model.

 

[Tressed]

Why is one DAY so glorified and the other is completely unknown?

Longer historical establishment, backed by the historical importance of the women's suffrage movement. Int. Women's Day is as much a day to recognize women and women's issues as it is a time to celebrate the significant progress that's been made so far.

Honestly, that historical aspect is an advantage, in a fucked kind of way. I'm a queer lady, and so while there's a ton of struggles I deal with that don't fit the topic of this thread, I do get to benefit from the support systems that were built by all those that came before me. All the effort that women and queer folk put into creating resources and tackling issues that held them back in the past, we're still benefitting from today. It's an advantage that many men's issues doesn't have.

You might have to build some of those structures yourself. If it seems like no one else cares, let them know you do.

On a personal level (and yeah, if you're reading this I'm challenging you to think about doing some of this), you can let the men in your friends and family know you're there for them. Let them know you love or appreciate or care about them, or whatever version of that you feel comfortable expressing. Make it known you're open to talking about struggles they might be going through, and that you won't judge them for letting themselves be vulnerable or weak. Support those who have a different form of masculinity than what's expected of men. If you are a guy, you can try to make yourself a role model for a healthy form of masculinity, and take care of yourself in the process.

If you're feeling a little more ambitious, and this stuff is really important to you, then make your voice heard. Volunteer, attend rallies, hell, organize your own if you have to. Write letters to government officials about establishing additional protections for the kinds of dangerous jobs that men find themselves predominantly represented in. Volunteer and fundraise for shelters for men and their families, or for mixed-gender shelters if you have them. A lot of discussion on men's issues is perceived as being based in whataboutism, so instead, center your activism on the tangible issues that men face and the ways that they can be improved on.

On that note, it's now the 20th in my timezone but I'm still gonna text my dad and let him know I love him.

 

[awyp]

 

[Wigglytuff]

who else amongst the men here feels alienated by their height........i hit puberty at the age of 9 and stopped growing at 13, and have been stuck at 5 foot 7 inches since i was 13......i felt like the goat then since i was the tallest one in the classroom and therefore the best at basket ball......now i'm 21 and below average-average height..........and i suck at basket ball....

 

[Kennedy]

I am a man, say nice things about me RIGHT NOW or I will do awful things.

 

[antemortem]

moved this to smogoff for obvious reasons...

 

[Dorron]

The fact you moved it to Smogoff and people are laughing at it is just proving my point about people not caring about men problems. Not giving a fuck is way easier than actually thinking about it, but didn't expect it from the Forum Leader.

 

[Wigglytuff]

The fact you moved it to Smogoff and people are laughing at it is just proving my point about people not caring about men problems. Not giving a fuck is way easier than actually thinking about it, but didn't expect it from the Forum Leader.

if it helps, i dont know when women's day is either

 

[Teh]

men? women? who cares! i just want to grill for gods sake!

 

[Teh]

love is love

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

moved this to smogoff for obvious reasons...

not commenting either way on the substance of this thread but i think this movement speaks volumes about an attitude towards the subforum that i had hoped we had moved past in the smogoff era

 

[earl]

i think women have largely had it harder than us guys. even if we do commit suicide more often. just my opinion

edit: it does suck that we have a couple years less to live on average, though

 

[cookie]

in contrast, the suicune rate among the legendary dogs is approximately 33%

 

[1LDK]

 

[BestDatrix]

As a certified male, I'm fairly upset coming to the realization that about

confronting statistic

60 men kill themselves

every hour.
That's a person every minute
And the thing is, I probably could have been that guy.

Not fun anecdote

Someone at my (all-male) school killed himself just a few weeks ago.

No one should ever have to feel that alone. No one should ever find themselves in the darkness and feel obliged to sink into it forever.

 

[Magic Mayhem Maiden]

I am trans feminine, but I haven't come out to the public, so I do get the sentiment of this thread.
Yes in the past women have had it harder, and they still might have it harder, but I think it's a mistake to focus our awareness on them at the exclusion of men.
The social stigma of a male looking weak has hurt many that need help and guidance, or they blame outside factors because of that. I think we can agree toxic masculinity is bad, but I feel like it's treated as some inevitable evil and don't look into why.

I am also disappointed that people are joking about this and that it was moved to Smogoff.

 

[Blizihguh]

It seems obvious to me that this thread was made in good faith, and a lot of the subject matter being discussed is clearly very serious. So I don't really get why it ended up here! But at the end of the day it doesn't really matter.

Just to throw my two cents in -- I completely understand why Women's Day is more of a thing. There's a common understanding, which I think is mostly if not 100% true, that society values women less, and the day is useful as a symbol to fight against that. It's valuable to people fighting to improve society, and as far as minor holidays go that's really the best purpose it could serve. People advocating for social change around mens' issues are a lot less unified, so it's harder to rally around. For some people, positive social change on men's issues is fighting toxic masculinity; for some people it's fighting things like homelessness that disproportionately affect men. And for some people it's encouraging veiled misogyny, homophobia, etc. So I don't see Men's Day as a very useful banner, because it implicitly ties up all of those disparate ideas, which are conflicting and really don't want to be associated with one another.

 

[BestDatrix]

Today, November 19th, is International Men's Day. However, you could go to the streets and ask people when it is and probably not even one out of a thousand will know when it is.

Why is one DAY so glorified and the other is completely unknown? Feel free to share your ideas and reasons that could be behind this.

Gonna just quickly quote from the wikipedia page you used: Unlike International Women's Day, (8 March) International Men's Day is not officially recognised by the United Nations.
That's probably a major reason.

 

[cookie]

ehhh i wouldn't set UN recognition as the bar for legitimacy given recent geopolitics