Falco "exploded" onto the Austrian Pop "scene" with Einzelhaft, an anomalous little gem amid the desolate musical wasteland of the early 80's. It was an era when American music was king in Vienna- chart toppers like "Physical" and "Eye of the Tiger" enjoyed their short-lived reigns in Europe as well as in the States -yet Falco was able to gallantly emerge from obscurity and found a New-Wave dynasty that would persist well into the 90's.
It's not like Einzelhaft was popular for its profound riffs or mind blowing guitar solos. Though as a child Falco was hailed as a musical genius by his teachers in Vienna, his purported endowments never really seemed to manifest themselves in any of his adult music. Nah, this album's appeal lay in its eccentricity. It's just so fucking weird. Falco weaves back and forth across the median, splicing stretches of German with charmingly awkward bouts of English, drifting between sung verses, rap, or occasional birdlike screeching.
All that being said, once you accept the unshakable presence of the oh-so-versatile synthesizer, some of these numbers are actually pretty catchy. I’ll go through them all individually in the order they appear on the album.
1. Zuviel Hitze (English: Too Much Heat) – Despite the title, this is probably the least provocative track on the album. Its subdued synth foundations slowly build to this somewhat lackluster chorus, an exercise in 80’s mediocrity that even Falco’s “passionate” vocals cannot redeem. Not the best song by any means, but it’s all good- the next track definitely picks up the slack. Rating: 4/10
2. Der Kommissar (English: The Commissioner) – Heh, this is a fun one. Despite being complimented by arguably one of the worst music videos ever made, the song itself is actually quite good (one of Falco’s best known stateside) and has been covered/sampled on several occasions by lesser artists, most notably After the Fire and Laura Branigan. Surprise surprise, the German lyrics are all about cocaine (the man loves his blow) and as always, in typical Falco form, little snippets of deranged English are thrown in here and there. It’s simple, it’s catchy, and by golly it’s just so darned cute! Watching Falco’s bumbling attempts at badassery in that video gives me the same “awwww” feeling as watching a toddler lolling about in a Chuck-E-Cheese ball pit. Adorable. Rating: 9/10
3. Siebzehn Jahr’ (English: Seventeen Years) -
Ingredients
1 repeating synth line, with reverb
1 repeating high pitched “doo-doo” background chorus
1 Kenny G-esque sax solo
1 teenage love theme
Directions
Cram ingredients into blender and set to purée. You’re going for smooth here. Rating: 5/10
4. Auf der Flucht (English: On the Run) – Poor, persecuted Falco. Der Mann is always trying to keep him down, yet he rocks on! The song fades in with heavy, rhythmic breathing (presumably Falco is being chased by some sort of authority figure) and continues to build as distorted guitar riffs and a relentless 1-2-3-4 synth bass line are added to the mix. It’s just dying to be dubbed over some 80’s training montage scene. As the song keeps going, Falco’s strange yelps only get more and more deranged and the guitar attempts to respond 20 seconds later by breaking into a decent solo, but ultimately the track never really builds up to anything special. Too bad. Rating: 5/10 (Although it should be noted that the live version is considerably more entertaining)
5. Ganz Wien (English: All of Vienna) – Well lookie here, another shitty music video! Apparently this song was too intense for Austrian radio at the time of its release, which isn’t that surprising when you look at its chorus…
All of Vienna
is on heroin today
All of Vienna
dreams with Quaalude
All of Vienna, all of Vienna
is reaching for cocaine, too.
is on heroin today
All of Vienna
dreams with Quaalude
All of Vienna, all of Vienna
is reaching for cocaine, too.
6. Maschine Brennt (Machine Burns) – Basically the same chassis as “Der Kommissar” supporting an inferior body. The flow of Falco’s rapped sections is virtually the same, only this time without any of the catchiness or fun. The guitar riffs in the background and the all-male backup chorus don’t really add much, unfortunately, and the whole number ends up feeling manufactured and flat. Rating: 4/10
7. Hinter uns die Sintflut (Behind us the Flood) – I’m a fan of this one. ^_^ Sadly it seems that I am in the minority here, as I can’t find a single video on Youtube or anywhere. You’ll have to take my word for it when I say that this song is really hard to describe without some sort of video or soundclip; this song is one of the more extreme examples of Falco’s experiments into genre-splicing and musical amalgamation. It’s a little bit new wave, mildly Poppish, vaguely elevator music-ish, and on top of that it features some funky “islander” stuff too (It’s really hard to describe…). But it all works somehow, which is pretty cool. Rating: 8/10
8. Nie mehr Schule (No More School) – Gotta love the child chorus. Whenever they’re not singing in unison with Falco or cheering wildly in the background, they keep their mouths shut long enough for the sax to swing in and blare a catchy little line. Like pretty much all early Falco stuff, this song manages to be catchy as hell while still keeping everything relatively simple on the melodic/lyrical end. Classic. Rating: 8/10
9. Helden von Heute (Heroes of Today) – The jumbled up version from the “Die Falco Show” gives a pretty good impression, but I think the essence of this song is best summed up by a lovely shot taken from the “Helden von Heute” TV special:
Rating: 7/10
10. Einzelhaft (Solitary Confinement) – The title track consists of a typical 80’s foundation made up of synth, funk guitar and a moderately paced 4/4 drum beat, which all provide Falco the background music for his sporadic German soliloquies. Some masculine crowd will intermittently shout out in unison or drone a repeated “Nehmt die Einzelhaft”, but other than that not much is going on here. A bit disappointing. Rating 4/10
I wouldn’t call Einzelhaft an album that you can just sit down with and listen straight through, partly because of its obscene 80’sness but more so because many of the songs are simply not that good. Sure, it’s the album that shot young Hans Hölzel to the top, but it doesn’t really seem too impressive when compared to pretty much every subsequent Falco release. For all of its flaws, though, Einzelhaft still occupies a beloved position in my musical library, a testament to the modest beginnings of one of pop's most eccentric artists. And trust me, it grows on you. Overall Rating: 7/10
