The World Cup of Pokémon 2018 - Introduction

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The Kyle

The Kyle

is a Tiering Contributor
Hey guys now that our lineup is sent it's time for shoutouts!

You may be asking: But Kyle, shoutouts are supposed to be made at the end of the tournament!!!

And I'll tell you: That's right. But Team Brazil is going through a rough patch since... 2015, and someone in our chat suggested that instead of making shoutouts AFTER WE LOSE IN R1, we should make shoutouts BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT EVEN STARTS! That way our team morale is going to get a giant boost of confidence and we’ll hopefully make the playoffs again! That’s probably the reason I’m on the team to be honest, we were lacking social skills and I need to make up for that.

I’m going to start with our main core:

Eternal Spirit: I used to dislike you. Now I think you are a great teammate and community user if you try hard enough. Your overused jokes about abortion sucks and are not funny at all.

Elodin: I used to like you. Now you are very arrogant and made Rewer quit. Tama’s doll.

Tamahome: You’re not Itachi. You can’t carry the team alone. You can’t play for half of the team anymore. TEAM stands for Together Everyone Acheves More. There’s no “I” in that sentence.

Hantsuki: Uninspiring. Never cares. Helped me with my class project, thanks. Will have to sub-in for Tiba after he disappears and will have a positive record.

Nintendi: Best brazillian player right now. Winner of the 4th edition of High Roller Tournament hosted by Kyle, the most prestigious brazilian tournament.

Now to the less important people on our team:

Lighthouses: I’m glad Nintendi isn’t playing ORAS because I want to see your excuses after you lose a game. You’re one the trashiest players and users I’ve ever met playing this game. You know what’s worse than being a team cancer? Not knowing you’re a team cancer. Your passive-aggressiveness and overall negativity gets on my nerves. I challenged you to play 1v1 and loser would be kicked from the team and you refused. Classic angsty teenager, trying to be smart and always contradicting yourself. Go eat a dick.

Century Express: You’re really good, have great knowledge about the metagame and I know you worked on your pre-game anxiety. You’re also a great person. I wish you the best. No flames here.

Sand Castle: I don’t like you as a person that much. But I’m liking your motivation and tryhardness and I hope you don’t quit in the middle of the tour. You also had a nice Classics run, good job.

Tiba: Luckiest player playing RBY OmegaLUL EZ Clap

Mncmt: Everyone has high hopes for you but don’t worry about the pressure and try to play your best and have fun.

Askov: You too, but with less hope.

Hec: Gama seems to trust you

A Hero’s Destiny: You should try to have fun because you said you didn’t have to much fun in SPL. Team tours are great!

Hyogafodex:: I’m glad you’re on the team. I think Perry was the one who first mentioned your name for the last spot. For once these random guys in the chat did something good, you should thank him. Keep the Will of Fire running if I’m kicked LUL


Now it’s up to you, TEAM BRAZIL BANANA METEOR 2018. You might be angry now. You might have hatred now. But most importantly: You have HOPE now. And that's what matters.

Thanks and let’s have fun!
 
Mister Magnus

Mister Magnus

The Kyle said:
Hey guys now that our lineup is sent it's time for shoutouts!

You may be asking: But Kyle, shoutouts are supposed to be made at the end of the tournament!!!

And I'll tell you: That's right. But Team Brazil is going through a rough patch since... 2015, and someone in our chat suggested that instead of making shoutouts AFTER WE LOSE IN R1, we should make shoutouts BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT EVEN STARTS! That way our team morale is going to get a giant boost of confidence and we’ll hopefully make the playoffs again! That’s probably the reason I’m on the team to be honest, we were lacking social skills and I need to make up for that.

I’m going to start with our main core:

Eternal Spirit: I used to dislike you. Now I think you are a great teammate and community user if you try hard enough. Your overused jokes about abortion sucks and are not funny at all.

Elodin: I used to like you. Now you are very arrogant and made Rewer quit. Tama’s doll.

Tamahome: You’re not Itachi. You can’t carry the team alone. You can’t play for half of the team anymore. TEAM stands for Together Everyone Acheves More. There’s no “I” in that sentence.

Hantsuki: Uninspiring. Never cares. Helped me with my class project, thanks. Will have to sub-in for Tiba after he disappears and will have a positive record.

Nintendi: Best brazillian player right now. Winner of the 4th edition of High Roller Tournament hosted by Kyle, the most prestigious brazilian tournament.

Now to the less important people on our team:

Lighthouses: I’m glad Nintendi isn’t playing ORAS because I want to see your excuses after you lose a game. You’re one the trashiest players and users I’ve ever met playing this game. You know what’s worse than being a team cancer? Not knowing you’re a team cancer. Your passive-aggressiveness and overall negativity gets on my nerves. I challenged you to play 1v1 and loser would be kicked from the team and you refused. Classic angsty teenager, trying to be smart and always contradicting yourself. Go eat a dick.

Century Express: You’re really good, have great knowledge about the metagame and I know you worked on your pre-game anxiety. You’re also a great person. I wish you the best. No flames here.

Sand Castle: I don’t like you as a person that much. But I’m liking your motivation and tryhardness and I hope you don’t quit in the middle of the tour. You also had a nice Classics run, good job.

Tiba: Luckiest player playing RBY OmegaLUL EZ Clap

Mncmt: Everyone has high hopes for you but don’t worry about the pressure and try to play your best and have fun.

Askov: You too, but with less hope.

Hec: Gama seems to trust you

A Hero’s Destiny: You should try to have fun because you said you didn’t have to much fun in SPL. Team tours are great!

Hyogafodex:: I’m glad you’re on the team. I think Perry was the one who first mentioned your name for the last spot. For once these random guys in the chat did something good, you should thank him. Keep the Will of Fire running if I’m kicked LUL


Now it’s up to you, TEAM BRAZIL BANANA METEOR 2018. You might be angry now. You might have hatred now. But most importantly: You have HOPE now. And that's what matters.

Thanks and let’s have fun!
Click to expand...

PLEASE TEAM BRAZIL, CUT THE KYLE AND FREE MY BOY HATI ISTALL, ODEIO STALL, GMT+7 , THE GOAT odeio stall
 

GGFan

Banned deucer.
There was once a man named Gurman Fink who lived in a basement apartment somewhere in New York. All he had for company was his old and ornery pet parrot, Bob, which had become reticent over the years, presumably because it no longer wanted to waste its talent on such a pitiful being, who thought his life was over. However, Gurman still talked to Bob whenever he was excited about something.

"You're getting old, Bob, aren't you?" asked Gurman. "To think that I'll outlive a parrot! Why, they're supposed to live for well over a hundred years." The only thing that gave Gurman motivation in life was realizing that the author of this story had bestowed upon him the gift of eternal life. Though he was 68 years old, he still possessed the mind and health of a young man. For as long as he could remember, Gurman smoked a pack of unfiltered cigarettes every day, yet this had no impact on his lungs or breathing capacity, which still remained at 100%. Gurman had also been an alcoholic for the same amount of time, though his doctor, a Russian named Dr. Vladimir Basikov who had a small practice in Chinatown, never suspected a thing, as Gurman's liver tests never revealed any problems.

"I know I'm going to live forever, Bob. You know it too, don't you?" Gurman began grinning at his only companion, who could now barely flap his wings and spent most of his time asleep. And that's just what Bob did.

"Sleeping again, eh, Bob? That's OK--I'm busy, anyway." Gurman's grin was replaced by a rather forlorn countenance. While he knew he was going to live forever, he didn't have much to live for. In his youth he was an author and playwright who wrote over 100 novels, 50 plays, and an autobiography about himself, which he titled, "Why And How Am I Still Alive?: The Story of Gurman Fink." All of his writings were self published through a small printing company called Vanity Press, and the only time he made any money or received notoriety for his occupation was the time one of his plays, "My life with a monkey," caught the attention of an autistic transgender activist named Chuck Linda, who was fascinated by the plot. The play was about a man who went to the Bronx Zoo every day to talk to the monkeys. Whenever the zoo staff or other people asked him why he loved talking to them so much, he always gave the same answer: "People let me down, so the monkeys keep me up." Eventually the man was able to bribe one of the zoo keepers into giving him one of the monkeys, which he took home and proffered a beautiful diamond ring to. Even though the monkey took the ring, put it in its mouth, and spit it out, the man interpreted this as the monkey accepting his marriage proposal. And so the man lived with his monkey for 20 years until the monkey died of natural causes. When Chuck Linda stumbled upon this play while searching on the internet for “fascinating progressive art,” she got in touch with Gurman and helped get it produced on stage. The play was reviewed by the local newspaper, whose reviewer described it as “Mindless dreck that descends into platitudes and oddities as soon as it starts. Gurman Fink is a talentless hack.”

Gurman fell into a long depression after that, a depression in which he had nobody to comfort him. His only friend besides Bob was Henry Potter, a drunk insurance salesman on the north side of 50 who ran his own website about various conspiracy theories, such as how the internet is actually controlled by a race of superior aliens who created it as a means of testing the extent of our stupidity.

“Bill Gates is not human,” Henry would always tell Bob at the McDonald’s they often conversed at. “He’s not one of us, I tell you. He’s trying to destroy the universe, and only we can stop him. Nobody else knows.”

“What should we do?” Gurman always responded, always believing him.

“We gotta kill the motherfucker. I’m gonna blow up that son of a bitch and his spaceship before he blows us up first!”

“My play was panned by the reviewers. I thought everyone would like it.”

“You think plays matter to the aliens? You think anything will matter after they kill us all? Here, just look at this whenever you’re lonely or feeling bad or whatever.” Henry took a pornography magazine out of his bag and gave it to Henry, who stared at the model on the front cover quizzically. It was Bianca Reicher, the famous German model who Gurman instantly fell in love with. Upon looking at her he wanted to travel to the ends of the earth and would traverse the greatest dangers just to find her and say, “I love you. Let me inside of you.”

“She’s beautiful,” Gurman said in a low, deep voice.

“Of course she is. Everyone wants to do Bianca Reicher. Not me, though.”

“Why not?” Gurman asked, offended by Henry’s rejection of the woman he loved.

“Fuck Germans.”

“I love Germans.”

Henry eventually convinced Gurman to help him kill Bill Gates and take his spaceship. He wanted to destroy the ship at first, but later realized he could make a lot of money with it.

“You got a dream in life?” Henry once asked Gurman.

“I want my life to have meaning again.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty pathetic, but you’re my friend so it’s OK.”

“What’s your dream?”

“I wanna get that spaceship and make it an exhibit. Maybe I can run my own circus or something like that with some of the aliens’ heads.”

“Well, that sounds nice.”

Henry told Gurman that his plan was to go on various messages boards under the name “Konzern” and appear as a friendly, helpful person, and then create other accounts under derogatory names such as “billgatesalien888,” “BGisNOTREAL,” “BILLGATESPHONEHOME,” and so on. The idea was to spread the rumor that Bill Gates was an alien which would hopefully persuade the government to investigate. After he was banned from every forum he registered accounts at, an irate Henry Potter was arrested for public masturbation and intoxication as well as punching the officer who attempted to peacefully restrain him square in the face. It was a weak shot, however.

TO BE CONTINUED...
 
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Mizuhime

Mizuhime

Did I mistake you for a sign from God?
is a Top Tutor Alumnusis a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Community Leader Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Top Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
Not a bad roster phil. The only downfall is that one of the users is perma banned and three of them are tour banned feelsbadman

miss you bloo - hit me on on discord soon
 
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