With a sky-high Defense, Cloyster is able to
utilize it into function ing as a Shell Smash sweeper on Ice teams.
One objective thing you missed here is that if you precede a stat name with "a," you should follow the stat with "stat." So here, "a sky-high Defense stat." I prefer to just remove any misplaced a
s to save words, though; there's nothing wrong with "With sky-high Defense." Anyway, you recognized that this sentence is too wordy, which is good. If I were GPing here, I'd have just integrated the clause into the main sentence because writers loooove their commas as it is; I look to improve flow where reasonable.
Cloyster can use its sky-high Defense to function as a Shell Smash sweeper on Ice teams.
Mmm, nice and smooth. This is pretty subjective stuff, so don't worry about it much for now, I just wanna let you know it's a thing you can do when writing's getting clunky.
It is also able to sweep opposing Ice teams, thus aiding in the mirror matchups.
Ice VS Ice can be considered a single matchup, no need for plural. Honestly, everything after the comma in this sentence is kinda redundant.
allows prevents Cloyster to not be from being walled by Steel-types such as Bisharp, Bronzong, and Aegislash, as well as aiding in sweeping Rock teams.
You're not really saving words here, so this is what I'd call a purely subjective change. Try leaving comments to explain your thought process when doing things like this.
Focus Sash allows Cloyster to set(AS)up
a with Shell Smash guaranteed and is crucial vs against Sspecial attackers such as Indeedee and Gardevoir in order to set up in a pinch.
Instead of a somewhat ambiguous acronym, I signify incorrect uses of setup by just adding the space and putting the phrase in blue, ie set up
. Same goes for capitalization fixes, i.e. special
. More noticeable and not ugly. I'd say "in order to set up in a pinch" is redundant here and can objectively be cut.
Alolan Ninetales is a fantastic partner for Cloyster,(AC) as it is able to
set up use (changed this in order to avoid repetition of "set up") Aurora Veil to allow Cloyster it to set up easier more easily, as well as threatening Toxapex,(AC) which Cloyster struggles to break,(AC) with Freeze-Dry;(ASC) which Cloyster struggles to break,(RC) in addition,(AC) to being very threatening to it can threaten Swift Swim Water teams with Snow Warning.
...set up more easily. Alolan Ninetales also threatens Swift Swim Water teams with Snow Warning and Toxapex, which Cloyster struggles to beat, with Freeze-Dry.
- The other form of setup/set up was used last sentence, it's not a big deal.
- You can't change Cloyster to "it" here, the sentence just established that Ninetales is "it."
- The rest of the sentence devolves into a mess of commas very quickly. I'd have just put a period after "set up more easily" so the Toxapex and Snow Warning stuff would have room to breathe in their own sentence.
Mamoswine, Piloswine, and Froslass provide entry hazard support
in with Stealth Rock and Spikes
Nothing wrong with "in" here. Ever heard "You Got a Friend in Me?" Same deal.
Galarian Mr. Mime and Avalugg are good teammates that provide Rapid Spin support to ensure that (guaranteeing [sth] for [sb], hence why I added "that") Cloyster's Focus Sash remains intact.
No idea what "guaranteeing [sth] for [sb]" means. You're an amchecker, if you need to be wordy to explain yourself, it's completely fine.
Froslass has access to Taunt to deny entry hazard from the opposing team,
ensuring making sure that (once again, this is just personal, I'd try avoiding using the exact same sentence twice, I feel like changing the verb would at least prevent it from sounding odd) Cloyster's Focus Sash is intact.
If you try to make each sentence in an analysis unique, you're just gonna drive yourself crazy. Prioritize making sure the writing isn't wasting the reader's time. Sad truth is, most analysis writers just aren't at a level where salvaging repetitive writing is a productive use of time.