[Pre-Bank OU] Pokemon XY the cause of all my stress

Hi Smogon, Reprobate here, to put it short I have been somewhat of a lurker for a very, very, long time. Before I get on with my war story I would like to tell you all a little about myself and competitive battling.

If you don't have the time to read this please scroll down.
I started competitive Pokemon battling at the beginning of the D/P era. My friends and I at the time, had been playing the series together, and along the way had had countless battles against each other. Gaining the edge over my friends was my main motivation, and since, started my search for the best Pokemon, and the best sets, just so I could beat my pals at a child's game. By chance I had stumbled across Smogon.

It was everything I had wanted and more, each Pokemon had their in-depth analysis, and the vast range of knowledge was amazing. Thereafter started my real love for the game, the hidden in-game mechanics, Effort Value training, even breeding egg moves such as Hydro Pump on a Bagon! All of it, blew my mind! Everything I thought I knew about Pokemon was little more than a shadow compared to what I have since learned.

So the time had come, I had bred and EV trained a new, in-game team (A very time consuming task!) and I promptly destroyed my family and friends. I needed something more of a challenge, I had discovered simulators such as Shoddy (I think it was at the time) and had begun unlocking the true potential I could obtain through my game cartridge.

In the interest of keeping this short, I won't go into too much detail, but since the moment I had discovered Smogon, I have been playing competitive Pokemon. I do like to think of myself as a fairly seasoned player of the game, but even so, I know I am not as great as other users on here. When I have a spare moment, these days, I usually find myself logging into Pokemon Showdown! and playing a couple of matches.

One of the matches I had inspired me to write a story about it, and share this with you. So with out any further rambling I would like to get on with the war story.

Replay: http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/oubeta-66220723

So the current team I am using is also my in-game team, the in-game mechanics have made breeding for perfect IVs a cinch. I took me maybe 30 hours of breeding, and trading to get the entire team assembled.
Segmeslian-Fun's team:Lucario / Ferrothorn / Gliscor / Rotom-Wash / Jolteon / Greninja
R3PR0's team:Talonflame / Rotom-Wash / Aegislash / Excadrill / Tyranitar / Azumarill

Segmeslian-Fun:

R3PR0:

Just looking at my opponents teams I am nervous, employing a solid core of Ferrothorn, Gliscor & Rotom-W backed by a strong sweeping core of Lucario, Jolteon & Greninja, the former two out speeding my entire team. This should be a tough match.

But my team is prepared for most of the Pre-Pokebank meta-game threats. The team is based around Choice Band Talonflame, who is a really great sweeper thanks to Gale Wings. Rotom-W is there to soak up physical hits (quite literally), Aegislash is my wall breaker pivot, Mold Breaker Excadrill (currently the best spinner), Scarf Tyranitar (also my stealth rock setter), and Choice Band Azumarill who wears down checks to Talon (Fairy typing is also nice).

Format:
OU (beta)
Rated battle

Sleep Clause Mod: Limit one foe put to sleep
Species Clause: Limit one of each Pokemon
OHKO Clause: OHKO moves are banned
Moody Clause: Moody is banned
Evasion Moves Clause: Evasion moves are banned
HP Percentage Mod: HP is reported as percentages

I must decide what to lead with, I would normally lead with Tar and set-up rocks ASAP, but seeing an opposing Lucario has put me off.
Battle between Segmeslian-Fun and R3PR0 started!

Go! Rotom-Wash!

R3PR0 sent out Rotom-Wash!
100%

100%

Not bad, obviously, Segmeslian has the same idea as me. I have no idea whether his Rotom is Scarf or Bulky, I can't Volt Turn out because Jolteon & Gliscor are both immune, I decide to get a burn on his Rotom or the switch in.

Rotom-Wash used Volt Switch!
The opposing Rotom-Wash lost 28.1% of its health!

Rotom-Wash went back to Segmeslian-Fun!

Go! Jolteon!

The opposing Rotom-Wash used Will-O-Wisp!
Jolteon was burned!

Jolteon was hurt by its burn!
88% (BURN)

72%

Perfect, Rotom tanks the Volt Switch nicely, at this point I am thinking his Rotom is a standard bulky attacker of sorts. Time to send in something to take the Volt Swith/Thunderbolt.

Turn 2

R3PR0 withdrew Rotom-Wash!

R3PR0 sent out Tyranitar!
A sandstorm kicked up!

Jolteon used Thunderbolt!
A critical hit! The opposing Tyranitar lost 64.0% of its health!
The sandstorm rages.

Jolteon is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Jolteon was hurt by its burn!
69% (BURN) Residual damage adds up

36% (CRIT)

NO! This was not supposed to happen, I cannot believe that this has happened, time to get it together. Tar can tank the next his easily and set-up Rocks. Hopefully this Jolteon will switch out, in fear of the KO.

Turn 3
Jolteon used Thunderbolt!
The opposing Tyranitar lost 36.0% of its health!

The opposing Tyranitar fainted!
The sandstorm rages.

Jolteon is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Jolteon was hurt by its burn!
50% (BURN) Sitting at Brave Bird late game sweep range

FAINTED

I almost rage quit at this point.. I was so frustrated, how could I be so stupid. Tar had zero impact on this battle, I even forgot that Jolteon outspeeds Scarf-Tar. I had my moment of clarity, his Jolt is Specs otherwise it wouldn't have done so much damage to begin with.

R3PR0 sent out Excadrill!
The opposing Excadrill breaks the mold!
The opposing Excadrill floats in the air with its Air Balloon!
50% (BURN) Rage inducing cat

100% Time to start winning

Okay I have a very favourable match up, my obvious move is to EQ for the KO, or hit the switch in for massive damage (Adamant 252 EVs) but seeing as my opponent has Gliscor it might pay to play the double switch.

Jolteon, come back!

Go! Gliscor!

R3PR0 withdrew Excadrill!

R3PR0 sent out Azumarill!
The sandstorm rages.

The opposing Azumarill is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Gliscor's Toxic Orb activated!
Gliscor was badly poisoned!
100% (POISON HEAL)

94% Time to wreck

Something I did worked!! Segmeslian is still in a favourable position, they can either scout my moveset with a Protect or switch in a solid counter, such as, Ferrothorn. I decide, for a Waterfall, to lure in a Ferrothorn switch, that is if my opp decides to Protect at all...

Gliscor used Toxic!
The opposing Azumarill was badly poisoned!

The opposing Azumarill used Waterfall!
It's super effective! Gliscor lost 95.5% of its health!
The sandstorm rages.

The opposing Azumarill is buffeted by the sandstorm!
Gliscor restored HP using its Poison Heal!
The opposing Azumarill was hurt by poison!
17% That tickled

82% How did it survive that!

Such wow Gliscor took a Choice Band Waterfall to the face and survived. Needless to say I was upset, Azu was poisoned, and Scor can now just Protect for free healing. Predicting either, Protect, EQ or a Ferro switch I make my move.

R3PR0 withdrew Azumarill!

R3PR0 sent out Talonflame!

Gliscor used Protect!
But it failed!

The sandstorm subsided.
Gliscor restored HP using its Poison Heal!
30% Healing up


100% Sup!

The mighty Fire Hawk has entered, time to wreak havoc! Not much can take a CB Brave Bird, Gliscor won't take this hit, or the next if he decides to Protect. May as well hit the switch in for a ton of damage.

The opposing Talonflame used Brave Bird!
Gliscor lost 29.4% of its health!
The opposing Talonflame is damaged by recoil!

Gliscor fainted!

Go! Rotom-Wash!
FAINTED -->
100%

89% KABOOM

Predicting Swords Dance set up, Gliscor was handled promptly, the immediate power of CB Brave Bird shows. Gliscor was a huge threat to my team, I'm glad to have him gone, Segmeslian decides to bring in his best counter to Talon, Rotom-W.

R3PR0 withdrew Talonflame!

R3PR0 sent out Rotom-Wash!

Rotom-Wash used Trick!
Rotom-Wash switched items with its target!
The opposing Rotom-Wash obtained one Choice Scarf.
Rotom-Wash obtained one Chesto Berry.
100% Tricked you!

72% Poop

Too my surprise, my opps Rotom-W is a scarf variant! Which is good since, it can't tank repeated hits as well as bulkier variants. On the downside I now have a relatively useless Rotom-W. What can I even do at this stage, I can't risk the Volt Switch since Jolteon could come in, also making burn a less favourable choice. I decide to switch my Excadrill in, hopefully, taking a Volt Switch and KOing the next turn with Mold Breaker EQ.

R3PR0 withdrew Rotom-Wash!

R3PR0 sent out Excadrill!
The opposing Excadrill breaks the mold!
The opposing Excadrill floats in the air with its Air Balloon!

Rotom-Wash used Will-O-Wisp!
The opposing Excadrill was burned!

The opposing Excadrill was hurt by its burn!
100% hehehehehe

88% (BURN) What even?!

Trick-tom with Burn, I've seen it all. Things were starting to look up, now this happens... Having a look at my team I now have: a burnt Excadrill, poisoned Azumarill, and a tricked Rotom. It was only turn 9! My mouse was hovering over the [x], I couldn't take much more of this. Might as well see how much EQ will do to a non-invested Rotom, I'm planning to sacrifice Excadrill at this point.

Rotom-Wash used Trick!
Rotom-Wash switched items with its target!
The opposing Excadrill obtained one Chesto Berry.
Rotom-Wash floats in the air with its Air Balloon!
Rotom-Wash obtained one Air Balloon.

The opposing Excadrill used Earthquake!
It doesn't affect Rotom-Wash...

The opposing Excadrill was hurt by its burn!
100% (BALLOON) Troll-Tom

76% (BURN) DAMN IT!!

I was under the impression that most scarf-tom were Modest natured..! This turn was salt to the wound, I really messed up. Segmeslian had always been one step ahead of me this entire match. Seg had pulled another brilliant play and I was on the brink of tears.

R3PR0 withdrew Excadrill!

R3PR0 sent out Rotom-Wash!

Rotom-Wash used Hydro Pump!
The opposing Rotom-Wash avoided the attack!
100% (BALLOON)

72% (SCARF) Missed me!

I send in my own washing machine to tank the certain hydro pump. There really was not much I could do at this point, I'm happy to have some hax go my way. I'm going to try burn this thing.

Segmeslian-Fun: best trick ever :p

The opposing Rotom-Wash used Will-O-Wisp!
Rotom-Wash was burned!

Rotom-Wash used Volt Switch!
The opposing Rotom-Wash lost 28.7% of its health!

Rotom-Wash went back to Segmeslian-Fun!

Go! Greninja!
100% (BURN)(BALLOON) -->
100%

44%

Troll-tom does some nice damage not before getting burnt, hopefully the residual damage will add up. Segmeslian sends in Greninja, hoping to maybe set up spikes, or deal some damage. I need to save Rotom-W for later. What most people don't realise is that Azumarill is a really great check to Greninja (without Grassknot).

R3PR0 withdrew Rotom-Wash!

R3PR0 sent out Azumarill!
Greninja's Protean made it the Dark type!

Greninja used Dark Pulse!
It's not very effective... The opposing Azumarill lost 22.7% of its health!
Greninja lost some of its HP!

The opposing Azumarill was hurt by poison!
91% I'm really over rated!

54% Fairy Type!!

Azumarill got a really great buff this gen, his fairy type really goes a long way into making him a premier OU threat. Looking at my opps team, now that Gliscor is gone, I am free to spam Superpower, which should deal a big hit to what ever takes it.

Greninja's Protean made it the Water type!

Greninja used Surf!
It's not very effective... The opposing Azumarill lost 30.3% of its health!
Greninja lost some of its HP!

The opposing Azumarill used Superpower!
Greninja lost 80.4% of its health!
The opposing Azumarill's Attack fell!
The opposing Azumarill's Defense fell!

Greninja fainted!

The opposing Azumarill was hurt by poison!

Go! Ferrothorn!
FAINTED -->
100%

11% (POISON)

Greninja rides the hype wave and is crushed by too many expectations. Segmeslian has sacrificed his ninja to bring in a healthy Ferrothorn, another great move. Azumarill has taken a lot of damage, and with the attack drop cannot hope to deal much to Ferrothorn what so ever. I'm smelling a Stealth Rock set up at this point.

R3PR0 withdrew Azumarill!

R3PR0 sent out Talonflame!

Ferrothorn used Stealth Rock!
Pointed stones float in the air around the opposing team!
100% I rock baby.. *cough**cough*

89% still not as cool as me!

Talonflame is safe and my Azumarill is now useless. Now there is only one thing left to do.. SPAM FLAREBLITZ!!

The opposing Talonflame used Flare Blitz!
It's super effective! Ferrothorn lost 100% of its health!
The opposing Talonflame is damaged by recoil!
The opposing Talonflame is hurt by Ferrothorn's Iron Barbs!

Ferrothorn fainted!

Go! Jolteon!
FAINTED! -->
50% (BURN)

38%

Ferrothorn has done it's job, and even better bought Talon below 50% (no switching around..). Segmeslian, has been making really great plays this entire match. My priority is to remove rocks ASAP, this is the perfect opportunity, seeing as Jolteon will make the obvious play here.

R3PR0 withdrew Talonflame!

R3PR0 sent out Excadrill!
Pointed stones dug into the opposing Excadrill!
The opposing Excadrill breaks the mold!

Jolteon used Volt Switch!
It doesn't affect the opposing Excadrill...

Jolteon was hurt by its burn!
The opposing Excadrill was hurt by its burn!
38% (BURN)

60%

It's time to win... All I need to do I rapid spin right here and I can send in Talonflame & Azumarill...

That is what I should have done...

Looking at Segmeslians' team I notice that all he has left is Rotom-W, Jolteon & Lucario. None can take an EQ well! I click Earthquake, hoping to take something out.

Jolteon went back to Segmeslian-Fun!

Go! Rotom-Wash!
Rotom-Wash floats in the air with its Air Balloon!

The opposing Excadrill used Earthquake!
It doesn't affect Rotom-Wash...

Rotom-Wash was hurt by its burn!
The opposing Excadrill was hurt by its burn!
88% (BURN) Oh you forgot about my balloon, y'know the one I tricked from you earlier

48% I have made a big mistake

Great one.. What a poor play. Seg outplays me again, I've made another terrible move. To make matters worse Rotom-W outspeed my Excadrill. This means I can't switch in Azumarill or Talonflame... My Rotom-W & Excadrill are on their last legs, and I need to save Aegislash for Lucario. Desperate at this stage, I decide to sac my Excadrill.

Rotom-Wash used Hydro Pump!
It's super effective! The opposing Excadrill lost 47.2% of its health!

The opposing Excadrill fainted!

Rotom-Wash was hurt by its burn!

R3PR0 sent out Rotom-Wash!
Pointed stones dug into the opposing Rotom-Wash!
76% (BURN)

FAINTED -->
32%

Here we go again, this is how we begun the battle, but this time Seg clearly has the upper hand. I know from earlier that my Rotom should be able to outspeed (Scarf). I hit Hydro Pump, I really need to do as much damage as possible, to get it down to Shadow Sneak range.

Turn 20

The opposing Rotom-Wash used Hydro Pump!
It's not very effective... Rotom-Wash lost 24.9% of its health!
Rotom-Wash's Air Balloon popped!

Rotom-Wash used Trick!
Rotom-Wash switched items with its target!
Rotom-Wash obtained one Choice Scarf.

Rotom-Wash was hurt by its burn!
Turn 21

R3PR0 withdrew Rotom-Wash!

R3PR0 sent out Azumarill!
Pointed stones dug into the opposing Azumarill!

The opposing Azumarill fainted!

Rotom-Wash used Volt Switch!
But there was no target...

Rotom-Wash was hurt by its burn!

R3PR0 sent out Rotom-Wash!
Pointed stones dug into the opposing Rotom-Wash!
Turn 22

Rotom-Wash used Volt Switch!
The opposing Rotom-Wash lost 18.8% of its health!
The opposing Rotom-Wash fainted!

Rotom-Wash went back to Segmeslian-Fun!

Go! Jolteon!

Jolteon was hurt by its burn!

R3PR0 sent out Aegislash!
26% (BURN)(CHOICE SCARF) -->
25% (BURN)

32% -->
FAINTED -->
FAINTED -->
94%

I spend precious turns switching around, building up a fair amount of residual damage to both Rotom & Jolteon, losing my own Rotom & Azumarill in the process. Things are getting serious. From this range I can revenge both with my Aegislash.

The opposing Aegislash used Shadow Sneak!
Jolteon lost 25% of its health!

Jolteon fainted!

Go! Lucario!
FAINTED -->
100%

94%

I might have a chance to win this! Lucario comes in at full health, and Aegislash is stuck in Sword Forme, as I don't use King's Shield I really need to switch, Slash can't take hits in his current forme. I pray that Seg doesn't go for the set-up here.

R3PR0 withdrew Aegislash!

R3PR0 sent out Talonflame!
Pointed stones dug into the opposing Talonflame!

The opposing Talonflame fainted!
Lucario has Mega Evolved into Mega Lucario!

Lucario used Nasty Plot!
Lucario's Special Attack sharply rose!

R3PR0 sent out Aegislash!
100% Yeah you're pretty much F*****

94% -->
FAINTED -->
88%

I was really kicking myself at this point. I had the chance to spin away Stealth Rocks, but I misplayed instead. If not for that single moment I would not be in this stressful situation. Seg has a +2 Nasty Plot Lucario and I have no hope in hell of taking a Dark Pulse/Shadow Ball. I was typing GG at this point.

Lucario used Flash Cannon!
It's not very effective... The opposing Aegislash lost 55.9% of its health!

The opposing Aegislash used Shadow Ball!
Lucario lost 100% of its health!

Lucario fainted!

Go! Rotom-Wash!
Turn 26
R3PR0: no dark pulse!!

The opposing Aegislash used Shadow Sneak!
Rotom-Wash lost 25.3% of its health!

Rotom-Wash fainted!

R3PR0 won the battle!
Ladder updating...
Segmeslian-Fun's rating: 1823 → 1820
(-3 for losing)
R3PR0's rating: 1946 → 1959
(+13 for winning)
FAINTED -->
FAINTED

32% GG

Segmeslian-Fun: gg
R3PR0: very good game!
Segmeslian-Fun: nah use vaccuum wave instead
R3PR0: wow
Segmeslian-Fun: gets suprise kills
R3PR0: I guess
Segmeslian-Fun: mean greninja
Segmeslian-Fun: just dies
I DID IT! I had manage to pull through with a victory when I was certain that all was lost...!

Props to Segmeslian-Fun for a really great game, he had played very well, and was out playing me the entire time. His skilful handling of Rotom, and well timed switches kept me on the edge of raging most of the match.

Thank you for reading this Warstory, it was mainly to show off my team, but also, to share this really great game. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, and if you don't believe the potency of CB Talon/Azu core, try it out for yourself!

PROPS:


For being a pain in the ass, and causing a lot of stress.


For pulling off the end game sweep.

SLOPS:


For not doing anything of value the entire match.


For getting tricked and not even doing the job it was intended to do, RAPID SPIN.
 
I understand that this is meant to showcase a comeback victory, but a match filled entirely with misplays isn't something anyone wants to read about. In conjunction with your sparse, rather miserly commentary and a fairly standard team that doesn't showcase anything particularly unique or exciting, this made for a fairly poor read.

I mean, fantastic for you that you made a comeback, good for you. But your war story needs to make an impression to be worth reading.
 
I actually enjoyed this quite a bit, despite a couple misplays. In the future, a bit more fleshed-out commentary might not go amiss but I personally thought this was fun to read.
 
I actually enjoyed this quite a bit, despite a couple misplays. In the future, a bit more fleshed-out commentary might not go amiss but I personally thought this was fun to read.
Many thanks Kakimori, I was considering typing a whole lot more, I was unaware as to how time consuming the entire process would be. I may revise and edit in some deeper insight in the future.
 
This is the only war story where I actually wanted the narrator to win, it was great and kept me on my toes. Your commentary was bouncy, yet very funny, although it could use some work. I was laughing my ass off on turn 10 when he tricked the air balloon from you. I would suggest putting the actual battle log in bigger font so its easier to read, and the whole log with turns 20-22 got me confused.

Great warstory.
 
Thanks Stone Alchemist, I really appreciate the feedback, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Your suggestions have been noted, they're quite informative thank you, I will definitely do some further edits when I have the chance!
 
On a scale of 1-10, I was thinking this would fall into the 6.5 to 7 range.... before the last turn. Just too many misplays, and really the only great play was the trick that stole the air balloon and saved his Rotom.

Sacking your Excadrill made no sense to me. Talonflame and Azumarill were dead in the water with hazards up, so why not fodder one of them?

Aside from that one excellent play, I think this needs a lot more work. Close battle, commentary was good (if maybe lacking some strategic input)....

Did we get an explanation why his Lucario was so poorly used? Did he really not have shadow ball or dark pulse? I mean, you just can't run that.
 
On a scale of 1-10, I was thinking this would fall into the 6.5 to 7 range.... before the last turn. Just too many misplays, and really the only great play was the trick that stole the air balloon and saved his Rotom.

Sacking your Excadrill made no sense to me. Talonflame and Azumarill were dead in the water with hazards up, so why not fodder one of them?

Aside from that one excellent play, I think this needs a lot more work. Close battle, commentary was good (if maybe lacking some strategic input)....

Did we get an explanation why his Lucario was so poorly used? Did he really not have shadow ball or dark pulse? I mean, you just can't run that.
Hi BuddhaSmite, thank you for the feedback, I think if you follow it in a logical sense each decision I made was valid, I tried to explain why I made each of my decisions in the game, maybe I hadn't emphasised this enough. I will be sure to include a little more depth to each turn, to help convey the strategy that I was employing.

What really made this game close was the single misplay I made with Excadrill, but hey that's what makes it entertaining right... It was huge risk I was willing to take but I hadn't had the forethought to execute correctly.

If you read the log, the Lucario set that he was using was Nasty Plot/Flash Cannon/Aura Sphere/Vacuum Wave, I agree that it doesn't get the best coverage compared to what Luke can normally do.
 
I definitely did not think your logic was flawed, except for, as I said, sacking Excadrill when the other two were only going to be fodder without the hazards removed. Your opponent made a ton of questionable moves, and when you start questioning the team composition and creation, I have to question the quality of the competition. What's worse is that he threw me way off by making that brilliant play on turn 10, lol.

The battle should be back and forth, but really the only reason it went back and forth was because of the misplays and the horrid Lucario set. Maybe a NP/Aura Sphere/Flash Cannon/Vac wave set is the standard for special Lucario, but I can't see why it would be. With Ghosts so prevalent in this current metagame, running a set that is completely walled when by them when there are two viable moves is just poor planning.

And, to top it all off, I look at his team. I see an Aegislash as the opponent, and he only has Lucario and Gliscor to take it on comfortably. Lucario doesn't carry the move to handle it, so that leaves Gliscor. He LEAVES Gliscor in to take a presumed Banded Waterfall, when he has the option to protect for scouting.... I have to say that your opponent was just not that good or wasn't paying attention at his computer.

Not a bad warstory by any means, but I guess it just bugs me to see something decided by misplays and poor decisions.
 
Being the first account of an online battle I read, I can appreciate the time and effort put into this. I agree that readability should be improved by some editing, but overall it was a decent read.
 
I enjoyed this quite a bit really, probably the second best Gen 6 warstory I've read so far. Sure there were misplays, (the Tyranitar one was a big one, critical hits do 1.5x damage, the second thunderbolt was a sure kill.) There were moments which made me go "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!". But I guess it was actually the misplays that kept me on my toes, I wasn't sure you'd win till the end.

You're narrative also made this warstory enjoyable for me, and I guess the good plays your opponent made at the start also kinda pulled me in. Great warstory, I hope you write another one in the future! (and hopefully, you'll be better then :P)
 
This was actually one of the more enjoyable war stories I have read.
Sure there where some misplays but considering this is a prediction game there are alway's one or two things you could have done better.

You already explained the thought process at every step but some extra detail would not hurt.

Out of 10 points I would rate this a solid 7.5
 
Can I just play Devil's advocate here and say that this War story being 'better than the others on this forum' is not a quality people should be aspiring to? Set your bar higher, guys. War stories should be compared to the ones in the Hall of Fame/Archive, not some of the quite frankly, crap that's been floating around currently.

I'm coming across as a bit of an asshole, I'm sure and I apologise if I seem rude; but this War Story is honestly not up to scratch. It's a close match sure, but it doesn't showcase anything exciting except for numerous, terrible misplays. The commentary is occasionally entertaining but very brief and sparsely detailed. The formatting was honestly fine, except for the clusterfu** that occured around turn 20 where 'switches happened'. The team composition ranged from fairly standard to 'Wow, that's a terrible Lucario' with nothing particularly unique or exciting. There was no real game plan to follow and the thought processes were solidly average at best to simple at worst. If this is the type of War Story people are looking towards, I don't have high hopes for the future of this forum.

I understand that this is your first War Story and everyone has to start somewhere, hell I'm considering writing one of my own for people to pick apart at some stage so I might be in your shoes in the future and you can return the favour. So don't let this discourage you from writing and improving again in the future. Just don't let all these niceities about "Oh I enjoyed this more than that Mienshao War Story. Fantastic!" comments go to your head.
 
Really, this whole thing was worth it just for the air balloon trick. That was the most creative play I've seen in a long time.
 
You made a number of misplays, but your opponent played gimmicks... brilliantly. Overall, I found the warstory most certainly worth sharing and entertaining, despite the misplays.

A brief suggestion: have "your" pokemon use back sprites: http://play.pokemonshowdown.com/sprites/bw-back/ , and have "your opponent's" pokemon use "front sprites": http://play.pokemonshowdown.com/sprites/bw/. Since your teams both have Rotom-W, I was getting confused which one was which. Using "back sprites" vs "front sprites" helps distinguish.
 
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