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Social Neurodiversity
- Thread starter p0ip0le
- Start date
Based thread. Been wanting to make something like this for a long time but executive dysfunction go brrrr
I've been wondering recently - what are ND people's current stims right now? recently I have just been OVERWHELMED with emotions so I have been making the air vibrate intensely just by existing. The current stim of choice for me is a variant of hand flapping where the pressure is put on the wrist so the hand doesn't move but I still get the Good Feel:tm: off of it. It's also possible to shorten the length of this variant of hand flapping so it can be done much more discretely - incase you may feel like you'd be judged for stimming. I've also been twitching my leg around a lot more than usual to the point where it gets actually distracting. It's fun.
I've been wondering recently - what are ND people's current stims right now? recently I have just been OVERWHELMED with emotions so I have been making the air vibrate intensely just by existing. The current stim of choice for me is a variant of hand flapping where the pressure is put on the wrist so the hand doesn't move but I still get the Good Feel:tm: off of it. It's also possible to shorten the length of this variant of hand flapping so it can be done much more discretely - incase you may feel like you'd be judged for stimming. I've also been twitching my leg around a lot more than usual to the point where it gets actually distracting. It's fun.
How has this thread not had more posts??
Anyway hi, I'm on the autistic spectrum; specifically, I have Asperger's syndrome! I've done a pretty ok job at masking it, but it manifests a lot when it comes to emotions. I can be really stimulated and move around a lot when I'm listening to music for example, or if I had a good idea and am having fun exploring it. On the contrary I can get really really spastic when I'm having a mental breakdown and am getting overwhelmed; I've noticed my legs shake quite a bit in day to day life when I'm getting uncomfortable in my position, or if I'm trying to exert energy on a whim.
Though probably my greatest stims come in the form of actually being overwhelmed, be it in crowds, emotionally, or with work. I can really get overloaded when it comes to a workload and the thinking and analyzing that comes with it, or if there's just too much sensory stimulation in general which is why I don't bode well in giant groups or crowds. I find that my executive functioning skills leave a lot to be desired, though, which can make organization and compartmentalizing tasks really difficult to do, too. I try to not let my issues stop or define me in any way, though, and I've gotten pretty good at masking, even if it's kind of hard to do when things are on my mind.
Anyway hi, I'm on the autistic spectrum; specifically, I have Asperger's syndrome! I've done a pretty ok job at masking it, but it manifests a lot when it comes to emotions. I can be really stimulated and move around a lot when I'm listening to music for example, or if I had a good idea and am having fun exploring it. On the contrary I can get really really spastic when I'm having a mental breakdown and am getting overwhelmed; I've noticed my legs shake quite a bit in day to day life when I'm getting uncomfortable in my position, or if I'm trying to exert energy on a whim.
Though probably my greatest stims come in the form of actually being overwhelmed, be it in crowds, emotionally, or with work. I can really get overloaded when it comes to a workload and the thinking and analyzing that comes with it, or if there's just too much sensory stimulation in general which is why I don't bode well in giant groups or crowds. I find that my executive functioning skills leave a lot to be desired, though, which can make organization and compartmentalizing tasks really difficult to do, too. I try to not let my issues stop or define me in any way, though, and I've gotten pretty good at masking, even if it's kind of hard to do when things are on my mind.
I have ADHD, does this count?
I've stopped taking my dosage due to learning one of the side effects was depression. I struggled/ still struggle with depression and I'm not sure if that's genetics or a lasting effect of the medicine. I had been taking it for >5 years when I stopped this year sometime in November after a few personal incidents.
Regardless, I still function well off my meds and I think I'm doing better. I have a girlfriend of almost 3 months but I'm not sure how long that will continue to last. Despite this, life is well and my main stressor is my university work. I take things one day at a time and I find myself in the mentality that the future is tomorrow so live for today.
I'm very extroverted and find success at parties and other social gatherings. This helps I think as a de-stressor as I'm able to make plenty of friends wherever I choose to go
EDIT: I'm also left-handed
I've stopped taking my dosage due to learning one of the side effects was depression. I struggled/ still struggle with depression and I'm not sure if that's genetics or a lasting effect of the medicine. I had been taking it for >5 years when I stopped this year sometime in November after a few personal incidents.
Regardless, I still function well off my meds and I think I'm doing better. I have a girlfriend of almost 3 months but I'm not sure how long that will continue to last. Despite this, life is well and my main stressor is my university work. I take things one day at a time and I find myself in the mentality that the future is tomorrow so live for today.
I'm very extroverted and find success at parties and other social gatherings. This helps I think as a de-stressor as I'm able to make plenty of friends wherever I choose to go
EDIT: I'm also left-handed
aspie gang
I'm fine with being autistic but fuck me people are so patronising towards us irl. My parents don't trust me w/ anything, and in high school I was in the bottom set despite being literally one of the smartest kids in my primary school, b/c my school felt like I needed additional help [I really didn't lol]
also ngl I love the feeling of finishing a game/anime and watching like a million videos about it afterwards, hyperfixations are fun
I'm fine with being autistic but fuck me people are so patronising towards us irl. My parents don't trust me w/ anything, and in high school I was in the bottom set despite being literally one of the smartest kids in my primary school, b/c my school felt like I needed additional help [I really didn't lol]
also ngl I love the feeling of finishing a game/anime and watching like a million videos about it afterwards, hyperfixations are fun
It's funny that I came across this thread because I actually have a psych evaluation tomorrow morning!
I definitely have some sort of ADD/HD coupled with a whole slew of other things including executive functioning problems, high maintenance anxiety, and a few other things if I had to guess. It's manifested itself in my school work specifically, making it really hard for me to focus on "meaningless" tasks and I would procrastinate till super late at night and hate myself for it. It's been an uphill battle, but I think I've started to really get control over it all, but we want to get a real diagnosis to see if there might be anything else.
Anyways I might make an update post if I need to rant about it all or I think it's interesting. Super cool thread idea :D
I definitely have some sort of ADD/HD coupled with a whole slew of other things including executive functioning problems, high maintenance anxiety, and a few other things if I had to guess. It's manifested itself in my school work specifically, making it really hard for me to focus on "meaningless" tasks and I would procrastinate till super late at night and hate myself for it. It's been an uphill battle, but I think I've started to really get control over it all, but we want to get a real diagnosis to see if there might be anything else.
Anyways I might make an update post if I need to rant about it all or I think it's interesting. Super cool thread idea :D
I just wanted to say that as a neurodivergent person myself, I really relate to your struggles with regards to managing personal expectations and burnout. I experienced a pretty significant burnout myself a couple of years ago as a result of failing to live up to my own unrealistic expectations (partly reinforced by the expectations of others), and I'm just slowly beginning to recover.
To keep it short, I was terrible at recognising my own thresholds, and paid the price for it. I had my sights set on a career in academia pretty much ever since I was a teenager, and to have that utopian fantasy turn to dust upon me eventually landing an academic career - only to unfortunately realise that the reality was so utterly inhospitable for me due to a plethora of factors - basically made me feel like I was set adrift, and I ended up having to re-assess my entire identity. I didn't know how to be anything other than the "gifted child", and I felt like a complete failure for not being able to cope with the demands of the career path that everyone, including myself, had always assumed was the natural fit for me.
In hindsight, I'm kind of glad I did go through that, because although I'm still kind of shaken from that experience, it has meant that I'm now more aware of my own personal boundaries, and as a result I feel like I can live better within my limits, while still doing what brings me fulfillment. I'm still in the process of figuring out how to let go of my previous identity as the "gifted child", but at least during the pandemic, I've had the chance to hit the brakes and reflect on what sort of life would actually bring me happiness, free of the societal expectations imposed by others.
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I kind of crashed in the other way in the late years of my undergrad. I was well aware that I had flaws, but I believed that they wouldn't be relevant once I got far enough that I could specialize. Unfortunately, it seems that while you can minmax in society, Charisma doesn't make a good dump stat (I'm autistic/Asperger's). There was, and still is, the sentiment that society is at fault for "messing up the stat balance" and my dislike of resumes and job interviews seems to have permanently moved from "annoyance" to "existential dread." On the upside, I got through a major writing hurdle earlier this month without breaking down once, which manages to constitute a marked improvement compared to the rest of my adult life (Writing has been my primary bane since elementary school).
I am also neurodiverse. I have high functioning autism. It came from my father. This thread is showing me how I am not alone. I am still in a normal school since I am still very high functioning. I have a girlfriend and life is good for me. Just wanted to let anyone know that I am in the same position as some of you. P.S. I have adhd too.
Figured i might also post here, share some of my experiences!
I'm a teenage male with Aspergers, and it's certainly been quite a ride. I've been told that's often been hidden by my bright and extraverted personality. There's definitely been some struggles in my life, primary school bullies being a prime example, but i've managed to break through and hit a point where I'm satisfied with who I am. My parent's and siblings have always been very supportive of me, and my friends that know of it are really encouraging. Getting hyper-fixated on things is also super fun, especially when you're supposed to be studying for school and you remember that one game or topic you love and then you go on some random 4 hour journey down a rabbit hole like i am now.
There's obviously some kind of stigma, if that's the word i'm thinking of, for autistic people that floats around. On top of that, some people use it as a derogatory term like "wow that's so autistic", kinda just used as a filler word for bad and i don't really get that. Another thing that i struggle with is being overwhelmed, which happens when school gets super stressful or other factors that i'm not prepared for. There's also just the constant pressure of having to perform because your "gifted" which isn't really fair. There's a lot of positives and negatives that i could list but it goes on too long and i kinda feel like sleeping tonight, and i don't really wanna copy what ausma (you didn't tell me you had it too!) and Von Karma said so i'll leave this here for now, I don't know how to end something like this uhh..
I'm a teenage male with Aspergers, and it's certainly been quite a ride. I've been told that's often been hidden by my bright and extraverted personality. There's definitely been some struggles in my life, primary school bullies being a prime example, but i've managed to break through and hit a point where I'm satisfied with who I am. My parent's and siblings have always been very supportive of me, and my friends that know of it are really encouraging. Getting hyper-fixated on things is also super fun, especially when you're supposed to be studying for school and you remember that one game or topic you love and then you go on some random 4 hour journey down a rabbit hole like i am now.
There's obviously some kind of stigma, if that's the word i'm thinking of, for autistic people that floats around. On top of that, some people use it as a derogatory term like "wow that's so autistic", kinda just used as a filler word for bad and i don't really get that. Another thing that i struggle with is being overwhelmed, which happens when school gets super stressful or other factors that i'm not prepared for. There's also just the constant pressure of having to perform because your "gifted" which isn't really fair. There's a lot of positives and negatives that i could list but it goes on too long and i kinda feel like sleeping tonight, and i don't really wanna copy what ausma (you didn't tell me you had it too!) and Von Karma said so i'll leave this here for now, I don't know how to end something like this uhh..
I didn't know this thread existed until i saw it pop up here tonight. I have... autism (and very likely also ADHD but I haven't got a diagnosis for that). I used to use a more specific term, but have since been informed that the man it was named after was quite literally a Nazi and dropped it very quickly (just like many medical institutions have done, most countries don't diagnose people with Asperger's Syndrome anymore). I've briefly mentioned its effect on my life in a previous post in the Depression thread, but I think I could elaborate a bit more here.
My autism used to have very severe effects on my behaviour, and didn't really pair very well with my anger issues at all. It's a good thing I was really weak, because I could be really violent. Most people at school either avoided me or physically bullied me, with the exception of the other kids who couldn't make friends. I've also always been very defiant of authority, which got me in lots of trouble- if I thought a teacher or staff member was wrong about something, I would stand my ground on it, no matter what. I was usually correct though, so I don't really regret this and still do it- in general, I think being critical of people in positions of power is always a good thing. In my early teenage years I got diagnosed with autism and gradually learned how to better manage my anger, but still struggled a lot socially, which left me feeling pretty isolated and ignored. In an attempt to combat this I started trying to imitate the things I saw my less socially handicapped friends doing- formulas for creating cheesy jokes on the spot, conversation structures, less formal tones. This... worked quite well actually, especially when I added my own twists to said things. I can still often struggle with holding conversations and have a tendency to miss cues that are painfully obvious in hindsight, but I like to think that I've at least improved a lot in both of those regards. I don't at all regret my imitation approach and I still make heavy use of it.
What I do regret, however, is how much I constantly tried to suppress my autism and act like it didn't exist, out of deep-rooted shame that came from years of being called weird (well, that was one of the nicer things people called me but you get the idea). This often lead to me denying support and harboring fairly strong self-hatred, and generally made me feel far less happy than becoming more socially capable should have done. In the past 2 or so years I've realised just how fake I feel when I try to hide this massive part of me from people, and I've been turning down my suppression gradually since then. Being normal is just a really boring and stressful self-imposed goal and I'm done with trying to achieve it. I'm gonna hyperfixate about LGPE jointhediscord and nerd out about puzzle games and lean on the back 2 wheels of my desk chair as much as I want and nobody can stop me!!!
Not got anything else to share that hasn't been said really, just wanted to share my story. If you want to talk to someone about anything to do with autism, I'd be happy to do so: just shoot me a message on Discord @Eve#9876. Have a good night :)
My autism used to have very severe effects on my behaviour, and didn't really pair very well with my anger issues at all. It's a good thing I was really weak, because I could be really violent. Most people at school either avoided me or physically bullied me, with the exception of the other kids who couldn't make friends. I've also always been very defiant of authority, which got me in lots of trouble- if I thought a teacher or staff member was wrong about something, I would stand my ground on it, no matter what. I was usually correct though, so I don't really regret this and still do it- in general, I think being critical of people in positions of power is always a good thing. In my early teenage years I got diagnosed with autism and gradually learned how to better manage my anger, but still struggled a lot socially, which left me feeling pretty isolated and ignored. In an attempt to combat this I started trying to imitate the things I saw my less socially handicapped friends doing- formulas for creating cheesy jokes on the spot, conversation structures, less formal tones. This... worked quite well actually, especially when I added my own twists to said things. I can still often struggle with holding conversations and have a tendency to miss cues that are painfully obvious in hindsight, but I like to think that I've at least improved a lot in both of those regards. I don't at all regret my imitation approach and I still make heavy use of it.
What I do regret, however, is how much I constantly tried to suppress my autism and act like it didn't exist, out of deep-rooted shame that came from years of being called weird (well, that was one of the nicer things people called me but you get the idea). This often lead to me denying support and harboring fairly strong self-hatred, and generally made me feel far less happy than becoming more socially capable should have done. In the past 2 or so years I've realised just how fake I feel when I try to hide this massive part of me from people, and I've been turning down my suppression gradually since then. Being normal is just a really boring and stressful self-imposed goal and I'm done with trying to achieve it. I'm gonna hyperfixate about LGPE jointhediscord and nerd out about puzzle games and lean on the back 2 wheels of my desk chair as much as I want and nobody can stop me!!!
Not got anything else to share that hasn't been said really, just wanted to share my story. If you want to talk to someone about anything to do with autism, I'd be happy to do so: just shoot me a message on Discord @Eve#9876. Have a good night :)
I didn’t even know this thread existed.
I’m in the Autism Spectrum and also have ADHD. I think it’s because of this I generally have a hard time making and retaining friends and become an easy target for people to make fun of me. I think that throughout my life I’ve been getting better, and some of the biggest obstacles I’ve ever faced were probably the death of my mother (occurred in January 2016 and the death of my grandmother (March 2017), both of whom I was extremely close with. Following the death of my mother, my father began drinking heavily and often lost control of his anger. I recently started meeting with a therapist who mentioned that they felt I was putting too much pressure on myself academically which led to
. I think that some of the acedemic pressure may come from my culture, as I’m sure many other (part) Japanese children can relate to the amount of pressure placed on us by our parents to succeed academically. Recently I’ve been trying meditation whenever I get frustrated, and that helps to an extent but as I’m sure many people reading this can understand, sometimes it’s impossible to control your emotions.
I must say that it’s comforting in a way to learn that so many of my peers struggle with the same diagnosis that I do, and if you ever need somebody to rant to and you think nobody can understand,my DMs on Smogon are always open and my Discord and other media are linked in my profile.
self harm and attempted Suicide
I must say that it’s comforting in a way to learn that so many of my peers struggle with the same diagnosis that I do, and if you ever need somebody to rant to and you think nobody can understand,my DMs on Smogon are always open and my Discord and other media are linked in my profile.
Avongarde
formerly reshprince
hey, so i found this and like idk it might be nice to talk about stuff.
i have autism and adhd, but i've never been able to get a proper diagnosis as there's a level of stereotyping and assumptions that only amab people and children have these issues within the professional mental health community. as an almost 19 year old afab it's been almost impossible for me to get even a diagnosis for either of these, let alone medication for adhd which would have certainly helped me. i only passed year 12 recently as opposed to last year, due to my mental health and several other issues that aren't on topic for this thread. i feel like it's too late for me to actually get help for the issues i face since my mother never assumed anything different with me... i was "normal" as a child and now i'm generally a nervous wreck who can't be around children as any sounds that come from them are just so earsplittingly awful for me. (does anyone else get really bad sensory overload from kids? i feel like some kind of bitch because i just genuinely can't be around them)
but yeah anyway that's me but like idk
i have autism and adhd, but i've never been able to get a proper diagnosis as there's a level of stereotyping and assumptions that only amab people and children have these issues within the professional mental health community. as an almost 19 year old afab it's been almost impossible for me to get even a diagnosis for either of these, let alone medication for adhd which would have certainly helped me. i only passed year 12 recently as opposed to last year, due to my mental health and several other issues that aren't on topic for this thread. i feel like it's too late for me to actually get help for the issues i face since my mother never assumed anything different with me... i was "normal" as a child and now i'm generally a nervous wreck who can't be around children as any sounds that come from them are just so earsplittingly awful for me. (does anyone else get really bad sensory overload from kids? i feel like some kind of bitch because i just genuinely can't be around them)
but yeah anyway that's me but like idk
yoooo hype, guess I'll talk about some stuff from my life (could be a bit sensitive for some people, the information located within the spoiler is somewhat of a depression post)
With that out of the way, I'll talk about some of the other stuff. As far as sensory issues are concerned, I can't go to movie theaters because the loud vibrations are painful, large crowds are irritating, and even doing the dishes with glass plates irritates me. I am very big about textures as well. Construction paper is incredibly irritating and sends me into tears. The standard wooden pencil gets me worked up as well. I won't even eat foods unless they have a texture that I feel comfortable with (strawberries are the best example of this, I cannot stand the texture of strawberries). I'm very fidgety (not sure if this is as a result of my ADHD, autism, or both); I'm always doing random stuff with my hands. I also chew on a LOT of stuff, and have torn up a few pairs of headphones (among many other various objects) as a result. I almost always carry gum around for this reason.
Mons has been a great connector to people for me, I feel like I'm welcome here! I'm glad to be here, don't hesitate to hmu if you need to talk :D
I've always been pretty open with the fact that I have autism, and I tend to joke around about being autistic with some amount of frequency. Despite that, I know it has made a profound impact on my life and continues to do so. I never had any sort of guidance when it came to this kind of thing. My way of learning how to properly interact with people was basically a trial by fire that has yet to be completed. At a young age, it was difficult for me to fit in anywhere. I didn't have any remotely amicable relationships until maybe middle school. I was outcast, laughed at, ridiculed, and seemingly the butt of a cruel joke. I didn't understand why what I was doing was wrong. I also admittedly had a few violent outbursts at a young age. These experiences weren't limited to my schooling either. My parents never really seemed to want to give me the time of day nor did my brothers. These experiences were something I bottled up for a long time. Thoughts of "nobody wants you around" and the like floated around in my mind for years, and it quickly turned into depression. Not having anybody that I felt comfortable with sharing these things really took a toll on me, and even worse, I didn't know how to convey these feelings. I was tired of being belittled and kept out constantly. I wanted it to stop, one way or another.
My life changed for the better when I entered high school. I found very welcoming people who accepted me for who I was, and as a result, I became much happier with my existence. People appreciated having me around, and that meant the world to me. I felt as if I could finally communicate my feelings to people. The feeling that somebody cares about you was something I seldom felt before. Frankly, I think I tend to get a bit too friendly with people too quickly, but the experience of not having any friends beforehand makes the feeling of having friends all that much better. High school was probably the happiest time of my life. I fit right in at my high school's band, and I contributed a lot while I was there. It gave me something that I could work diligently at in an appreciative environment.
Once I graduated high school, life was still good. People still enjoyed having me around, and I was getting along fairly well. I could actually start to hold decent conversations with people, and I felt like an approachable person. Then, COVID struck. All of a sudden, almost all of the people who I would call my friends no longer made any kind of effort to communicate with me. I was back to the same hole I once came from: depression. It all came to a head around September of last year. My grades in college and mental health were suffering drastically, and I lacked any and all motivation to do much of anything. If I didn't have a few very close friends on discord to talk about this stuff with, I'm not sure I would be making this thread. One of the very few IRL friends who still occasionally kept up with me gave me the wake-up call of a lifetime, and he made me realize that I needed to get some help. I knew he was right. I decided to muster up the courage and talk to my dad about it. I felt like the best course of action was to take a gap year off of college to collect myself and get my head right.
Well, that brings us to now. It put me a bit behind in my studies, and while I'm not too sure what the future holds, I believe it was the correct decision. I feel like I have a purpose in existing now, and that some people do actually appreciate my existence. It was a long road to get here, but I think I'm finally at least somewhat comfortable with myself. I'm still incredibly self-conscious about myself: I second guess every decision I make socially, and I'm sometimes still questioning if I'm welcome. I'm not great at holding conversations still, but I think I'm getting better! I still don't really know how to phrase things properly or not sound super confrontational all the time. I'm not great at making friends or being sociable either, but I believe, at the very least, I've made some headway on that front. If anybody wants somebody to talk to, although I'm not the best at it, feel free to hit me up on discord: SEA#6962
two small shoutouts related to this post: Xrn_n emma you two were incredibly helpful over the summer, and probably kept me alive for a while.
and shoutout to my normal person translator: RageAgainstTheMagearna, I'm sure it kind of seems like a joke, but it does legitimately help.
My life changed for the better when I entered high school. I found very welcoming people who accepted me for who I was, and as a result, I became much happier with my existence. People appreciated having me around, and that meant the world to me. I felt as if I could finally communicate my feelings to people. The feeling that somebody cares about you was something I seldom felt before. Frankly, I think I tend to get a bit too friendly with people too quickly, but the experience of not having any friends beforehand makes the feeling of having friends all that much better. High school was probably the happiest time of my life. I fit right in at my high school's band, and I contributed a lot while I was there. It gave me something that I could work diligently at in an appreciative environment.
Once I graduated high school, life was still good. People still enjoyed having me around, and I was getting along fairly well. I could actually start to hold decent conversations with people, and I felt like an approachable person. Then, COVID struck. All of a sudden, almost all of the people who I would call my friends no longer made any kind of effort to communicate with me. I was back to the same hole I once came from: depression. It all came to a head around September of last year. My grades in college and mental health were suffering drastically, and I lacked any and all motivation to do much of anything. If I didn't have a few very close friends on discord to talk about this stuff with, I'm not sure I would be making this thread. One of the very few IRL friends who still occasionally kept up with me gave me the wake-up call of a lifetime, and he made me realize that I needed to get some help. I knew he was right. I decided to muster up the courage and talk to my dad about it. I felt like the best course of action was to take a gap year off of college to collect myself and get my head right.
Well, that brings us to now. It put me a bit behind in my studies, and while I'm not too sure what the future holds, I believe it was the correct decision. I feel like I have a purpose in existing now, and that some people do actually appreciate my existence. It was a long road to get here, but I think I'm finally at least somewhat comfortable with myself. I'm still incredibly self-conscious about myself: I second guess every decision I make socially, and I'm sometimes still questioning if I'm welcome. I'm not great at holding conversations still, but I think I'm getting better! I still don't really know how to phrase things properly or not sound super confrontational all the time. I'm not great at making friends or being sociable either, but I believe, at the very least, I've made some headway on that front. If anybody wants somebody to talk to, although I'm not the best at it, feel free to hit me up on discord: SEA#6962
two small shoutouts related to this post: Xrn_n emma you two were incredibly helpful over the summer, and probably kept me alive for a while.
and shoutout to my normal person translator: RageAgainstTheMagearna, I'm sure it kind of seems like a joke, but it does legitimately help.
With that out of the way, I'll talk about some of the other stuff. As far as sensory issues are concerned, I can't go to movie theaters because the loud vibrations are painful, large crowds are irritating, and even doing the dishes with glass plates irritates me. I am very big about textures as well. Construction paper is incredibly irritating and sends me into tears. The standard wooden pencil gets me worked up as well. I won't even eat foods unless they have a texture that I feel comfortable with (strawberries are the best example of this, I cannot stand the texture of strawberries). I'm very fidgety (not sure if this is as a result of my ADHD, autism, or both); I'm always doing random stuff with my hands. I also chew on a LOT of stuff, and have torn up a few pairs of headphones (among many other various objects) as a result. I almost always carry gum around for this reason.
Mons has been a great connector to people for me, I feel like I'm welcome here! I'm glad to be here, don't hesitate to hmu if you need to talk :D
I think I've heard this story before...
I still have higher expectations for myself, but I've slowly been (re)learning to accept that much of life is not within one's own control and a lack of results is not necessarily indicative of one's intelligence, abilities, nor effort. Success in life seems to be largely pure dumb luck, being your best self and putting in the effort merely incrementally improves your odds. Still, I can't say I don't resent the fact that I consider myself smarter and harder working than the vast majority of people yet I'm well on the road to never retiring just like every other basic schmuck out there.
Indeed, the thing that gives me anxiety like nothing else is the feeling that certain key aspects of my life are almost completely out of my direct control. When applying for jobs for example, I can put in as much effort as I want towards perfecting my application and interview techniques, but ultimately I can't control whether or not the employer will actually like me as a person, and thus want to hire me. Job hunting is all just a numbers game, as they say - I just need to cast a wide enough net, and probability would suggest that I'd more likely land something than not eventually. Also the cliché saying "it's not what you know, it's who you know" rings absolutely true.
I'll confess that I know for sure that I'm not making anything close to as much effort as I could be, which I can partly attribute to battling mental health issues, but also down to a conflict of ambitions where I've always wanted to be successful and highly respected, but also to live a quiet, low stress life. As a result, I've had a tendency to avoid leaving my comfort zone while at the same time mentally beat myself up for not being a high-flying achiever. Totally counterproductive, but go figure.
in
hi, as some of you may know i have adhd. my life is pretty cursed cause i didn’t even know what it was (it just brought to mind the stereotypical hyperactive child) until about a year ago when my therapist suggested i look into getting a diagnosis. needless to say, going through life knowing that i could do some really cool things but at the same time being held back by what i thought was myself was not a fun time. thankfully knowing that this is an actual condition with a name and a treatment did a lot to help me realize that my very existence is not contradictory.
i have not taken any medication for the few months i’ve been meeting with psychiatrists outside of 10mg vyvanse which didn’t really do anything. also i had to deal with prior authorizations which are dumb lol.
overall living with adhd isn’t easy and i’m not grateful for it but am grateful for some of the places it’s led me. this past year i’ve been on a less rigorous school schedule for the first time pretty much ever and the change to my daily life has been enormous. with less of a stress on “productivity” i’m able to start asking myself about where i want to go in life and what really matters to me. also saying stupid things impulsively is a lot of fun so i have built, like, multiple personas around that.
anyone know how to become self sufficient? school is dumb cause they look for ways to fail you even if you do all the assignments and work is dumb cause it lasts for hours and i want to spend that time listening to music & owning unviable ladder players not pushing crates around and working with customers. (i have worked with customers)
shoutouts 2 my friends you guys are great
hi, as some of you may know i have adhd. my life is pretty cursed cause i didn’t even know what it was (it just brought to mind the stereotypical hyperactive child) until about a year ago when my therapist suggested i look into getting a diagnosis. needless to say, going through life knowing that i could do some really cool things but at the same time being held back by what i thought was myself was not a fun time. thankfully knowing that this is an actual condition with a name and a treatment did a lot to help me realize that my very existence is not contradictory.
i have not taken any medication for the few months i’ve been meeting with psychiatrists outside of 10mg vyvanse which didn’t really do anything. also i had to deal with prior authorizations which are dumb lol.
overall living with adhd isn’t easy and i’m not grateful for it but am grateful for some of the places it’s led me. this past year i’ve been on a less rigorous school schedule for the first time pretty much ever and the change to my daily life has been enormous. with less of a stress on “productivity” i’m able to start asking myself about where i want to go in life and what really matters to me. also saying stupid things impulsively is a lot of fun so i have built, like, multiple personas around that.
anyone know how to become self sufficient? school is dumb cause they look for ways to fail you even if you do all the assignments and work is dumb cause it lasts for hours and i want to spend that time listening to music & owning unviable ladder players not pushing crates around and working with customers. (i have worked with customers)
shoutouts 2 my friends you guys are great
Okay, so I wasn’t actually sure about posting here, as my experiences have been pretty normal for the most part. For a bit of a backstory, I have high-functioning autism (High functioning autism gang) and was diagnosed when I was very young. Surprisingly (or maybe not so) it hasn’t really had many effects on me academically apart from needing breaks from time to time so I don’t get overwhelmed. I also remember getting an invitation or something for the gifted program which I wasn’t interested in back when I was in kindergarten aka back when the earth was nothing more than molten rock. Now I wonder if a gifted program is just a label or something or if I’ve squandered my potential at times by not putting in the effort to get a very high-paying job.
p0ip0le
it's a billion lions
gifted programs are dogshite
was in one for 4(?) years, ended up getting pushed up a grade solely because i was good at math (note that i did *not* receive nearly as much in writing/science/basic social skills/etc while i was in it) and it, ofc, later resulted in gifted kid burnout. oh and being a year younger than every single fucking one of my classmates and obviously socially stunted didn't help either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
but hey i can do numbers really quickly thats pretty neat
BONUS!: undiagnosed at the time. (fucking hell it's like pulling teeth trying to get a diagnosis when you're not 8 years old or cis)
--
fun discussion topic: how has your neurodivergency affected your identity/your perception of it? could be a general "sense of self" thing, a lgbtq+ identity, etc etc
was in one for 4(?) years, ended up getting pushed up a grade solely because i was good at math (note that i did *not* receive nearly as much in writing/science/basic social skills/etc while i was in it) and it, ofc, later resulted in gifted kid burnout. oh and being a year younger than every single fucking one of my classmates and obviously socially stunted didn't help either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
but hey i can do numbers really quickly thats pretty neat
BONUS!: undiagnosed at the time. (fucking hell it's like pulling teeth trying to get a diagnosis when you're not 8 years old or cis)
--
fun discussion topic: how has your neurodivergency affected your identity/your perception of it? could be a general "sense of self" thing, a lgbtq+ identity, etc etc
My neurodivergency has not affected my identity or my perception of it. Not really a whole lot for me to say there.
p0ip0le So basically if you’re in a gifted program, whatever statistic you have that got you in there (math, science, etc.) becomes your dump stat. Or am I thinking that the other stuff you don’t get nearly as much of becomes the dump stat?
p0ip0le So basically if you’re in a gifted program, whatever statistic you have that got you in there (math, science, etc.) becomes your dump stat. Or am I thinking that the other stuff you don’t get nearly as much of becomes the dump stat?
They wanted me to skip 1st grade when I was a kid and I said no precisely because I was afraid of being younger than everyone else already being plenty socially anxious/awkward. Was also in a gifted ("enrichment") program for a couple years, of which the only thing I remember from at this point is playing an educational computer game about electrical wiring and counting to 10 in French during 4th grade.
In far hindsight, maybe I should've skipped after all because I'm still socially hopeless anyway. At least then I'd be a year further along in my adult attempts to salvage my nonexistent career and dating prospects.
Cresselia~~
Junichi Masuda likes this!!
True. I was pushed up a grade back in middle school. It used to be the coolest thing ever until I burned out.
Though I can't really determine what affected me the most at the time-- being bullied? being beaten up by a physically abusive mother? or not coping large university class sizes due to autism?
Although diagnosed with autism, I think some of my behaviors are rather different from autism.
For example, I really lack sympathy/ empathy, while autistic people do have sympathy, and can even be overly sympathetic.
I think there's a chance that I might have PTSD from an abusive narcissistic mum instead.
Or maybe I have both.
It gets rather complicated.
Another thing with my case of academic acceleration was that I spent way too much time in science and almost no time in history or other humanity subjects.
Nowadays, sometimes I feel that I know way too little when it comes to history, since I start to see the importance of history.
It feels like I know nothing about the countries I had lived in.
Science (or any subject for that matter) is not a good dump stat, if that is anything to go off of at all. I’m still of the opinion that gifted programs are just going all in on one subject and neglecting other core subjects.
(Author’s Note: This post was originally part of its own thread but is now merged with this one as of December 14th, 2021. My apologies to the creator of this thread and other posters for any inconvenience.)
(Image taken from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/drnanc...es-call-for-unusual-thinking/?sh=2d50eb906db2)
Good evening, everyone. There's been something on my mind over the past few days following final exams season. Why is it that, despite the advent of winter break, I feel like there's something... you know, something missing? I've thought about this for a while, and I think I've figured out what's bothering me. I don't have very many places, if any, where I can just have a nice, open conversation with others about my favorite topic and maybe even make some new friends along the way.
Neurodiversity. I'm sure we've all heard of the term, but have we ever taken into account just how broad and beautiful of a topic it really is? By definition, neurodiversity could refer to any major enough changes in the brain and/or its processes that in turn effects a person's ways of life. In many cases, these factors can be determined at birth, and in other cases these changes may evolve alongside us in our ever-changing environment. At the end of the day, we're all neurodiverse in our own ways. We have our strengths and weaknesses, interests, fears, and so much more determined by our neurological factory we call the human brain.
I've wanted to post in a thread like this for a while now, but I only just realized the fact that there may be some of you out there who don't have those kinds of social outlets I mentioned. As a college kid with years of experience living and growing up autistic, I wanted to give all of us that chance. Not just myself, but each and every one of you. I am aware that I do not openly represent a larger portion of the neurodiversity umbrella, nor do I currently have the background or credibility to treat much of what I say as factual. Then again, human services, writing, and speech is largely what I'm going to school for and want to do for a living, so I guess it all works out.
(Image taken from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/drnanc...es-call-for-unusual-thinking/?sh=2d50eb906db2)
Good evening, everyone. There's been something on my mind over the past few days following final exams season. Why is it that, despite the advent of winter break, I feel like there's something... you know, something missing? I've thought about this for a while, and I think I've figured out what's bothering me. I don't have very many places, if any, where I can just have a nice, open conversation with others about my favorite topic and maybe even make some new friends along the way.
Neurodiversity. I'm sure we've all heard of the term, but have we ever taken into account just how broad and beautiful of a topic it really is? By definition, neurodiversity could refer to any major enough changes in the brain and/or its processes that in turn effects a person's ways of life. In many cases, these factors can be determined at birth, and in other cases these changes may evolve alongside us in our ever-changing environment. At the end of the day, we're all neurodiverse in our own ways. We have our strengths and weaknesses, interests, fears, and so much more determined by our neurological factory we call the human brain.
I've wanted to post in a thread like this for a while now, but I only just realized the fact that there may be some of you out there who don't have those kinds of social outlets I mentioned. As a college kid with years of experience living and growing up autistic, I wanted to give all of us that chance. Not just myself, but each and every one of you. I am aware that I do not openly represent a larger portion of the neurodiversity umbrella, nor do I currently have the background or credibility to treat much of what I say as factual. Then again, human services, writing, and speech is largely what I'm going to school for and want to do for a living, so I guess it all works out.
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Fishy
tits McGee (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
hello thread!!!
i have not been formally diagnosed with anything, mainly out of aversion to doctors (american here lol) and also having enough formative experiences where i thought my issues were mine and mine alone, so for the most part i've kept any thoughts of "is my brain different?" at bay, though i wonder if there is an attention-related disorder i fall under. i am the type who will place an item somewhere, as simply as setting it on an open table face, but just as quickly as it leaves my hand my mind is onto another task, and mere seconds have gone by before i want to pick up the thing i set down on the table but frantically whip my head around a few times before finding it again.
i think with whatever attention deficits i already had growing up as the School Is So Easy And I am Bored crowd, traumatic experiences have absolutely dashed my short-term memory. i have had ample time to reflect on my life and environment during my formative years (I'm 31 now) and i am sort of shocked at how early in age i started dissociating to protect myself from high-stress scenarios. this started whenever i was being reprimanded by my parents, as i was always punished first before being taught anything about the mistakes i had apparently made
i also had a severely abusive babysitter who would chuck my small body around the room if i wasn't where i was supposed to be. if you didn't like the lunch she made, then you didnt eat for the entire 6am-3pm shift while mom was at work. this has also instilled some food anxiety in me, and i literally cannot eat sometimes if i feel that i am being pressured to do so in any way, even if i am making up the perceived pressure. the brain is powerful!!!!
probably the greatest indicator of some type of ADD/ADHD in me is my (much much improved) skin picking... mmph. i even feel weird bringing it up because it's still a habit i chastise myself for, but i will give greater context about it:
the "stimming" definitely hits home, i have found that i am an intensely kinesthetic person, so often times inflicting little bits of pain (picking at pores, plucking ingrown hairs, or hairs that are just fine) is a comfort to me when i am annoyed or irritated by some other stimulus. however, this easily spirals out of control. once in college i left my classroom for the bathroom because i had been picking at a scab at the corner of my mouth attempting to heal— you know the type. maybe a tiny sliver of the scab's edge is lifted, just enough that i can get my fingernail beneath it... then a little wiggle, a little more give, and the scab is free. then i'm bleeding. then i'm in the bathroom for 15+ minutes alternating picking and stopping the bleeding. my class? the absolute last thing on my mind. priority number 99999.
learning to understand my body and how it functions has helped IMMENSELY with my skin picking habit, as i have learned to appreciate my body, no matter the imperfections. this also means honoring my body as my home... so rather than viewing a clogged pore and seeing a problem, i try to just analyze what is happening to avoid having an emotional reaction, and thereby an impulsive act. so now i regard my pores or body and think "you seem upset. you're inflamed. am i drinking enough water? how about i wash my face and moisturize my skin."
i do my very best to treat my body as my best friend, flaws and all, as it's the one true home i can never move out of, so i best appreciate every nook and cranny that i've got.
i have not been formally diagnosed with anything, mainly out of aversion to doctors (american here lol) and also having enough formative experiences where i thought my issues were mine and mine alone, so for the most part i've kept any thoughts of "is my brain different?" at bay, though i wonder if there is an attention-related disorder i fall under. i am the type who will place an item somewhere, as simply as setting it on an open table face, but just as quickly as it leaves my hand my mind is onto another task, and mere seconds have gone by before i want to pick up the thing i set down on the table but frantically whip my head around a few times before finding it again.
i think with whatever attention deficits i already had growing up as the School Is So Easy And I am Bored crowd, traumatic experiences have absolutely dashed my short-term memory. i have had ample time to reflect on my life and environment during my formative years (I'm 31 now) and i am sort of shocked at how early in age i started dissociating to protect myself from high-stress scenarios. this started whenever i was being reprimanded by my parents, as i was always punished first before being taught anything about the mistakes i had apparently made
i also had a severely abusive babysitter who would chuck my small body around the room if i wasn't where i was supposed to be. if you didn't like the lunch she made, then you didnt eat for the entire 6am-3pm shift while mom was at work. this has also instilled some food anxiety in me, and i literally cannot eat sometimes if i feel that i am being pressured to do so in any way, even if i am making up the perceived pressure. the brain is powerful!!!!
probably the greatest indicator of some type of ADD/ADHD in me is my (much much improved) skin picking... mmph. i even feel weird bringing it up because it's still a habit i chastise myself for, but i will give greater context about it:
the "stimming" definitely hits home, i have found that i am an intensely kinesthetic person, so often times inflicting little bits of pain (picking at pores, plucking ingrown hairs, or hairs that are just fine) is a comfort to me when i am annoyed or irritated by some other stimulus. however, this easily spirals out of control. once in college i left my classroom for the bathroom because i had been picking at a scab at the corner of my mouth attempting to heal— you know the type. maybe a tiny sliver of the scab's edge is lifted, just enough that i can get my fingernail beneath it... then a little wiggle, a little more give, and the scab is free. then i'm bleeding. then i'm in the bathroom for 15+ minutes alternating picking and stopping the bleeding. my class? the absolute last thing on my mind. priority number 99999.
learning to understand my body and how it functions has helped IMMENSELY with my skin picking habit, as i have learned to appreciate my body, no matter the imperfections. this also means honoring my body as my home... so rather than viewing a clogged pore and seeing a problem, i try to just analyze what is happening to avoid having an emotional reaction, and thereby an impulsive act. so now i regard my pores or body and think "you seem upset. you're inflamed. am i drinking enough water? how about i wash my face and moisturize my skin."
i do my very best to treat my body as my best friend, flaws and all, as it's the one true home i can never move out of, so i best appreciate every nook and cranny that i've got.