Social LGBTQIA+

antemortem

THE ORIGINAL DAVE
is a Community Leaderis a Community Contributoris a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Admin Alumnusis a Top Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Discord Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnus
Socialization Head
I don't think so but last 2 years were kinda akward due to covid-19. 2020 Pride was basically canceled because of it (since we weren't allowed to do large meetups of people) and 2021 Pride was quite limited for the same reason. So this was basically the first real Pride since covid so people were quite motivated to do the whole event !

I found this quick video which shows some footages from the Pride :]

looks pretty beautiful! the Pride merch, fetish gear, drag makeup/costumes looked great as well. happy for your community!
 
I've been thinking quite a bit about how my family would react if/when I eventually come out (probably when I'm in my 20s or something) as not only asexual, but nonbinary/genderfluid. I mean, I doubt I'd physically transition because that'd be changing my body far more than I'm comfortable with, and I still usually use she/her pronouns so it might be easier for them since it wouldn't be too drastic of a change I guess. But I still think my parents would struggle with it and probably won't even believe I'm actually nonbinary (to be fair, how could they when I'm constantly questioning if I'm truly nonbinary or ace myself?). I've tried talking about being ace with my mom in the past and her response was basically that I was too young to know So I can only imagine how well coming out as nonbinary would go...

I'm planning to see my therapist soon and I'm thinking about talking to him about my concerns, but...I'm really scared he's going to ask questions about it. And that I'm going to be revealing that I'm not a """typical trans person""" (a bit more context in my first post in this thread). And what if he's going to think I'm not truly trans? Would he be right? Honestly, my stomach twists thinking about him just asking questions. I keep imagining him saying something like, "But you never showed signs as a child?" or "But you never seemed uncomfortable being a girl?" or "But you told me you don't have a lot of dysphoria, how could you be trans?"

ughhhhh why is this stuff so hard? I just want to exist
 
Sorry boys, girls, and everyone that resides in the genders between, but pride month is now over, being gay is strictly illegal under penalty of being fined a cat picture.

Coming out to my friends was a great success. I picked a private time where only two of the closest friends in that group were on, and came out to them in voice chat. They were very indifferent about it but generally supportive and promised to continue treating me the same as always! One friend even offered to change the pronouns/name he addresses me. Thank you guys for your advices and stories!
 

antemortem

THE ORIGINAL DAVE
is a Community Leaderis a Community Contributoris a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Admin Alumnusis a Top Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Discord Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnus
Socialization Head
I've been thinking quite a bit about how my family would react if/when I eventually come out (probably when I'm in my 20s or something) as not only asexual, but nonbinary/genderfluid. I mean, I doubt I'd physically transition because that'd be changing my body far more than I'm comfortable with, and I still usually use she/her pronouns so it might be easier for them since it wouldn't be too drastic of a change I guess. But I still think my parents would struggle with it and probably won't even believe I'm actually nonbinary (to be fair, how could they when I'm constantly questioning if I'm truly nonbinary or ace myself?). I've tried talking about being ace with my mom in the past and her response was basically that I was too young to know So I can only imagine how well coming out as nonbinary would go...

I'm planning to see my therapist soon and I'm thinking about talking to him about my concerns, but...I'm really scared he's going to ask questions about it. And that I'm going to be revealing that I'm not a """typical trans person""" (a bit more context in my first post in this thread). And what if he's going to think I'm not truly trans? Would he be right? Honestly, my stomach twists thinking about him just asking questions. I keep imagining him saying something like, "But you never showed signs as a child?" or "But you never seemed uncomfortable being a girl?" or "But you told me you don't have a lot of dysphoria, how could you be trans?"

ughhhhh why is this stuff so hard? I just want to exist
just wanted to mention that clinicians, unless specializing in sexual health of trans people, have almost always missed the boat on using proper language/practices when treating me. when i’ve been in the hands of someone aware and in-tune with the needs of the Queer community, the visits have been exceptional! all of that to say that you know who you are and your feelings on your own body, sexuality, and gender identity are valid, even if you lack all of the right language yourself to describe it to someone else. furthermore, non-binary is under the transgender umbrella, or at least the metaphorical one we use to describe it to idiot redditors/family:
5D8D1553-FE5C-415D-B2CC-5ACBBD50CE91.jpeg
C4E91967-57D9-40AA-B9BB-8B3D2339872E.jpeg

non-binary is transgender because it’s not cisgender;
gender non-conforming is transgender because it’s not cisgender;
any gender identity outside of the gender binary is transgender because it’s cisgender.

so claim that you in your totality are still whole and worthy of being honest with your therapist, even if they won’t completely understand you. you’re not even fully sure yourself, so how could someone else be? and that’s fine.
 
Okay, so I am fairly uneducated in this department so please forgive me if I state wrong information or come off as rude.

A pal of mine recently came out as gay to me. Now, normally I don't care what you do in the bedroom, but in order to support him better I decided to learn some terminology. (I do realize that coming out is a big deal, and I am proud of anyone who has the courage to do so)

Why are there so many sexualities? I have heard of so many terms for what seems to me as the same thing. Demisexual, Allosexual, Cupiosexual, Grayromantic, and Gynesexual all seem to me like terms I've heard before. (Gay, Bi, Ace)

So what I want to know is why are there so many terms for (what seems to to me) the same thing?

I would like to apologize if I offended anybody and/or made a complete mockery of myself.
 

Adeleine

after committing a dangerous crime
is a Top Social Media Contributoris a Community Contributoris a Smogon Discord Contributoris a Top Contributoris a Smogon Media Contributoris a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
Okay, so I am fairly uneducated in this department so please forgive me if I state wrong information or come off as rude.

A pal of mine recently came out as gay to me. Now, normally I don't care what you do in the bedroom, but in order to support him better I decided to learn some terminology. (I do realize that coming out is a big deal, and I am proud of anyone who has the courage to do so)

Why are there so many sexualities? I have heard of so many terms for what seems to me as the same thing. Demisexual, Allosexual, Cupiosexual, Grayromantic, and Gynesexual all seem to me like terms I've heard before. (Gay, Bi, Ace)

So what I want to know is why are there so many terms for (what seems to to me) the same thing?

I would like to apologize if I offended anybody and/or made a complete mockery of myself.
hi there!

there are generally nuanced differences between these terms that are useful for some situations.

for example, if a non-binary person is into women, they aren't lesbian (which is women/women) or straight (men/women), so gynosexual/gynesexual (just "into women") is useful. (that's not the only use of gynosexual, just one that is easy to explain)

"allosexual" is a useful antonym to "asexual"; saying someone is "sexual" could imply they have a high sex drive, which isnt true of "all people with some sort of sexual attraction." "allosexual" prevents confusion and makes clear you mean "all people with some sort of sexual attraction"

demisexual doesn't work like gay/bi/ace: it doesn't signify what genders you're attracted to, it means that your sexual attraction (whoever it applies to) comes in after a prior tight emotional bond

etc

(i dont identify as all of these terms so apologies if i made a mistake in reference to one)

edit: unless there’s some kind of joke i’m missing, does anyone in angry react crew wanna explain what they’re angry about? if i messed something up, id love to hear about it, but negative reacts without explaining doesn’t help our original asker at all)
 
Last edited:

Myzozoa

to find better ways to say what nobody says
is a Top Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Past WCoP Champion
hi there!

there are generally nuanced differences between these terms that are useful for some situations.

for example, if a non-binary person is into women, they aren't lesbian (which is women/women) or straight (men/women), so gynosexual/gynesexual (just "into women") is useful. (that's not the only use of gynosexual, just one that is easy to explain)

recommend reading Monique Wittig, "On the Straight Mind":

"
Wittig identified herself as a radical lesbian. In her work The Straight Mind, she argued that lesbians are not women because to be a lesbian is to step outside of the heterosexual norm of women, as defined by men for men's ends.

...and it would be incorrect to say that lesbians associate, make love, live with women, for 'woman' has meaning only in heterosexual systems of thought and heterosexual economic systems. Lesbians are not women (1978)
A theorist of materialist feminism, she stigmatised the myth of "the woman", called heterosexuality a political regime, and outlined the basis for a social contract which lesbians refuse.

"

So, while I do not derive all of Wittig's conclusions from the same lines she takes, I do take up with her thinking in so as I do not see an opposition between being non-binary and being a lesbian or identifying as a 'gay man' and as non-binary. In fact, I believe that the experience of same gender attraction (homosexuality) can be a key experience that causes someone to feel that their gender does not fit neatly into the binary regime.

Nor do I agree with the way of thinking that derives what it means to be a lesbian or w.e solely according to a sex->gender->desire (sexuality) type set of syllogisms as I believe this way of thinking is based on exerting control over ppl and obfuscating that heterosexuality is a regime for controlling bodies.

Finally, it is simply not true according to the everyday use of these terms. There are just a billion non-binary lesbians out there. There are starting to more and more non-binary ppl who date gay men and identify as gay. Thus, to me, when you say "Only women and not non-binary people can be lesbians" you appear to not know or to be mistaken about what non-binary means or else mistaken about how the terms 'gay' and 'lesbian' are commonly deployed.
 

Adeleine

after committing a dangerous crime
is a Top Social Media Contributoris a Community Contributoris a Smogon Discord Contributoris a Top Contributoris a Smogon Media Contributoris a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
mistaken about how the terms 'gay' and 'lesbian' are commonly deployed.
it was this one. i wasn't aware that 'gay' and 'lesbian' are commonly deployed by nb people. my bad! thanks, now i know :blobthumbsup:

Nor do I agree with the way of thinking that derives what it means to be a lesbian or w.e solely according to a sex->gender->desire (sexuality) type set of syllogisms
yea def agree
 
Last edited:

antemortem

THE ORIGINAL DAVE
is a Community Leaderis a Community Contributoris a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Admin Alumnusis a Top Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Discord Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnus
Socialization Head
recommend reading Monique Wittig, "On the Straight Mind":

"
Wittig identified herself as a radical lesbian. In her work The Straight Mind, she argued that lesbians are not women because to be a lesbian is to step outside of the heterosexual norm of women, as defined by men for men's ends.



A theorist of materialist feminism, she stigmatised the myth of "the woman", called heterosexuality a political regime, and outlined the basis for a social contract which lesbians refuse.

"
I run in many circles of non-binary people, including myself, that identify as gay, lesbian, and bisexual, so I agree with you on that front.

but bringing antiquated critical theory by 2022 standards into a conversation juxtaposed with “everyday use of these terms” is where you lose me. instead of someone like Wittig, why not look multiple decades closer in proximity to present day takes on intersectional feminism such as Judith Butler, who herself claims that the very idea of a woman changes with the generations (thereby rendering this a, by contemporary standards, tone deaf definition of lesbian)?

or just don’t bring critical theory into the conversation at all when Finland and Useless Uses were clearly speaking with colloquialism in mind
 

Myzozoa

to find better ways to say what nobody says
is a Top Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Past WCoP Champion
I run in many circles of non-binary people, including myself, that identify as gay, lesbian, and bisexual, so I agree with you on that front.

but bringing antiquated critical theory by 2022 standards into a conversation juxtaposed with “everyday use of these terms” is where you lose me. instead of someone like Wittig, why not look multiple decades closer in proximity to present day takes on intersectional feminism such as Judith Butler, who herself claims that the very idea of a woman changes with the generations (thereby rendering this a, by contemporary standards, tone deaf definition of lesbian)?

or just don’t bring critical theory into the conversation at all when Finland and Useless Uses were clearly speaking with colloquialism in mind
I have mentioned Butler many times (get told they're obscure and antiquated too lol), but seeing as how few want to read it I was trying someone else. And as I said in my post, they were mistaken about the everyday usage so from my perspective it was not clear that there was not some deeper abstraction taking place, hence why I briefly mentioned some theory.
 
I've been having a bit of a weird problem and I figured I might as well ask in here to see if anyone else has had to deal with this.

I want to get a silicone breastplate to wear, but the problem is my body type. I'm 6'2 tall, skinny/average body build at like 170 or 180 pounds around there, and almost every single breastplate I've seen that's made for someone with my general proportions is some huge cup size that I don't want. I want a B or C cup plate to wear, C cups preferably. I'm debating whether or not I should just order one that's a C-cup and slowly stretch it to work with my body, but I'm also worried about breaking the thing and wasting several hundred dollars.

Has anyone else been having these struggles?
 
Last edited:

roxie

https://www.youtube.com/@noxiousroxie
is a Tutoris a Dedicated Tournament Hostis a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Team Rater Alumnusis a Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnus
hey everyone, after thinking about me, I believe I am gender fluid. I don’t really have a specific area in the sense of feminine and masculine and I’m not sure if I have a direct boy/girl preference. I mean look at my username, roxiee is feminine and my profile used to have he/him. When I was considering a rename, I wanted to rename to like a lot of neutral options and not necessarily masculine names but honestly I don’t have a direct route. I feel how I want to feel and act however I want to act, like I feel like im me and not a specific male / female category. I believe my pronouns are they/them and I’m genderfluid androgyne. Okay Gn lol

“an androgynous person, as one whose appearance is neither clearly masculine nor clearly feminine.”
 
Last edited:
I've been having a bit of a weird problem and I figured I might as well ask in here to see if anyone else has had to deal with this.

I want to get a silicone breastplate to wear, but the problem is my body type. I'm 6'2 tall, skinny/average body build at like 170 or 180 pounds around there, and almost every single breastplate I've seen that's made for someone with my general proportions is some huge cup size that I don't want. I want a B or C cup plate to wear, C cups preferably. I'm debating whether or not I should just order one that's a C-cup and slowly stretch it to work with my body, but I'm also worried about breaking the thing and wasting several hundred dollars.

Has anyone else been having these struggles?
Hella late, but why not just get bra inserts? Much more affordable and you can see how you feel about the size/weight before fully committing to a plate
 
Hella late, but why not just get bra inserts? Much more affordable and you can see how you feel about the size/weight before fully committing to a plate
Would it be best to just get those on Amazon, or are there IRL places where those are sold commonly? I don't know why I didn't think of that, but they'd be great for a test run before I commit to the whole plate you're right
 
Would it be best to just get those on Amazon, or are there IRL places where those are sold commonly? I don't know why I didn't think of that, but they'd be great for a test run before I commit to the whole plate you're right
I'm not too sure about the quality control on Amazon, but I'm sure you could find something there. I'm pretty sure anywhere you'd be looking to buy a plate would also sell inserts.
 
First, quick, I'm coming out!!! I'm bisexual, and I think I'm fully nonbinary instead of genderfluid, but I can't quite figure it out x-x

Second, sorry to detract, but I need to rant about something that's been pissing me the fuck off over the last hour or so.

For those who don't know, MGK (Machine Gun Kelly) is a mainstream rap/rock artist who has been the proverbial punching bag for many people on the internet since the release of the controversial song "Emo Girl." This isn't about him, his music, or what any of us think of him; his bus was tagged last night with a homophobic slur being graffitied onto it. I have seen such a 180 from so many people who previously talked about how it was terrible to use slurs now celebrating a slur being graffitied onto a person's bus just because that person is hated.

It's so hypocritical and insulting as fuck, especially when people purport to care about your identity then pull shit like this, you know?
 

scorbunnys

Don't dream your life, but live your dream. #Bunny
Honestly I've ranted a bunch in mw thread and like need to get some shit outta my chest here now.
Also yes I know I probably shouldn't be ranting on an internet site, but seriously ya'll are probably more receptive than literally my whole conservative enviroment.
Honestly, I think I have said it before but I'm pansexual (I also sort of fit on bisexual's definition tbh so I'm fine w it too), like I've realized I just really don't care about the gender at all when I'm attracted to someone, it just happens.
I think everything's okay from there, but honestly the idea of coming out terrifies me, like I can imagine how my parents would react and they'd say it's just a phase, whereas my closest friends and family would make a lot of questions (and I certainly think my girlfriend will break up w me), but at the same time I feel some...guilty? Like for example, sometimes I just find men actually pretty and I don't have anyone to talk about it lol, it's just a complete nightmare.
I had to hear a lot of homophobic comments as well, like not towards me but I've heard many comments towards lgbtq+ people in my school (and even at home) and can't say anything about it cause I kinda wanna hide it, but at the same time I just wanna tell everyone tf is going on in my head lol.
I also don't think my social life is really that good right now, like yes I talk with a lot of people IRL (in fact I'm kind of popular and sometimes I'm the center of attention at school), but I don't have any close friends (and my gf thinks having a bi/pan boyfriend is a nightmare and she told me that before)
Tbh I don't expect to have a lot of likes or reactions overall lol I wanna keep this as hidden as I can.
 

Fishy

tits McGee (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
Honestly I've ranted a bunch in mw thread and like need to get some shit outta my chest here now.
Also yes I know I probably shouldn't be ranting on an internet site, but seriously ya'll are probably more receptive than literally my whole conservative enviroment.
Honestly, I think I have said it before but I'm pansexual (I also sort of fit on bisexual's definition tbh so I'm fine w it too), like I've realized I just really don't care about the gender at all when I'm attracted to someone, it just happens.
I think everything's okay from there, but honestly the idea of coming out terrifies me, like I can imagine how my parents would react and they'd say it's just a phase, whereas my closest friends and family would make a lot of questions (and I certainly think my girlfriend will break up w me), but at the same time I feel some...guilty? Like for example, sometimes I just find men actually pretty and I don't have anyone to talk about it lol, it's just a complete nightmare.
I had to hear a lot of homophobic comments as well, like not towards me but I've heard many comments towards lgbtq+ people in my school (and even at home) and can't say anything about it cause I kinda wanna hide it, but at the same time I just wanna tell everyone tf is going on in my head lol.
I also don't think my social life is really that good right now, like yes I talk with a lot of people IRL (in fact I'm kind of popular and sometimes I'm the center of attention at school), but I don't have any close friends (and my gf thinks having a bi/pan boyfriend is a nightmare and she told me that before)
Tbh I don't expect to have a lot of likes or reactions overall lol I wanna keep this as hidden as I can.

i don't wanna bombard you with advice since you said you wanted to vent/rant, but i do want to validate that your existence is important no matter what rhetoric you hear around you about it, and if your girlfriend wouldn't accept you as you are then she's probably worth losing so, don't get too hung up trying to please people who aren't actually making you happy OR secure in your identity!! <3
 
I'm 15 y/o and I found out that I was aro/ace about half a year ago and it took me a while to explain things to my friends (I am not planning on coming out to my parents any time soon mostly because I feel like I don't need to) but now it just feels so liberating, in the past I used to worry about getting a gf and looking good in order to get into relationships and stuff but I realised that I never really cared about falling in love, it always was just kind of a social norm I accepted for almost all my live, I even pretended to be in love with a girl in 2nd grade even though I never felt that way, never have, and coming to terms with that was just amazing. I used to hate Pride because I got swept up into the alt-right wave of the internet during the late 2010's thanks to the likes of Ben Shitiro, but now I just feel grateful because it was thanks to how normalized being LGBT+ has become over the past few years has become that I came to terms with my sexuality.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 2, Guests: 2)

Top