How to get your very own Smogon girlfriend

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A good day to you, my friend. In this thread, I will teach you how to find your significant other on Smogon. Since there's no better way of doing this than through leading by example, I'll be using a success story to illustrate the steps.

Step 1: Make your demands clear

In a free market like our society, there is no way to get the goods if you aren't advertising what you need. So let's make sure that all the single ladies know we're available and looking!



Step 2: Acquire target

You don't want to pick up just about anyone, oh no. You should make sure that your target is successful, nice, charming, good-looking and female! Our hero has done the utmost to make sure of this and settled on a power user with a girl in their avatar. Can't go wrong with that!



Step 3: Diversify your methods of contact

Just a single VM cannot possibly be enough to win their hearts. After all, what if they accidentally don't read it? You have to show them that this is an urgent and serious matter. Smogon provides tons of different ways of contacting someone, why settle for one?



Step 4: Stay close

Show that you're willing to work hard for her! If Twilight has taught us anything nothing is more attractive than a girl than a man who traces her every move and gets as close to her as possible. This is called "getting inside her comfort zone" and is an essential part of making contact.



Step 5: Have backup plans

As easy as it might have looked from this example, not every girl is as receptive to your charms as you might hope. Not your fault though, she just wasn't right for you. But just in case things do go wrong, make sure you are always pursuing multiple relevant targets just so you are never left without any.




That's about all I have to say. There is no need for me to wish you good luck, as I'm sure you'll get with the girl of your dreams in no time. Remember, the key is to keep trying and trying, don't give up after the first 599 e-mails. (´・ω・`)
 
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chaos

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>tfw nobody ever asks you to be their girlfriend

dont guys like rena? i was told they like rena.

edit: me irl

 
Be warned: if you do manage to obtain a "girlfriend," you will be expected to defend her honor according to the way of bushido.
 
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