Walrus Bloody's 2022 Walrus

Introduction:
Walrus is a game where you send one song per category that fits each for the categories listed below. Preferably ones that you think I’ll like, but hey, you do you; I appreciate the effort to submit regardless, the more the merrier! This time around some of my categories are based on song names, some are based off of anime I like, but regardless just read the category description and look at the example songs for each category and you should be fine.

Also, most of the following info except the categories are exactly the same as my last walrus with sections rewritten for wording. You’ll lose little by skipping it if you’ve participated in my last walrus.

Scoring:
Songs’ scores will be put together from a few things, mainly how much I like them. A more detailed breakdown of scoring is shown below- it’s exactly the same as last time by the way, so for anyone who remembers that or doesn’t care about the details, skip this.
Songs that don’t fit their categories at all receive no points. I will warn you if you have a catfail, but it may be on somewhat short notice. Please don’t send me catfails.
Rating
: Rating is a measure of how much I enjoyed the song. It ranges from 0.1 points to 10.0 points. Songs will be revealed in order of rating. Any song that scores an 8.0 or above will get a bonus of .5 points, and any song that scores 9.0 or above will receive a bonus of a full point. 8.0 and 9.0 are major watersheds on my personal rating scale so these bonuses aren’t really arbitrary- 8.0 means I’m willing to put the song on my playlist, and 9.0 means that I am guaranteed to seek the artist out for extensive further listening.
Catfit: Every song will receive a score for how well it fits the category, unless the category is a “you either fit it or you don’t” category (in which case I'll just give everyone the same score). The scale for this will be 0.1 points for extremely loose cat fits to 2.0 for extremely good cat fits.
Familiarity: You will receive points based on whether I’m familiar with the artist/song you’ve subbed. This ranges from a point for artists I’m completely unfamiliar with to .0 points for artists I’m aware of and have listened to a lot from (or for specific songs I'm familiar with). Unless I’m very familiar with the artist you sent or have actively listened to the song you sent me you should get some score here.
Example: Here’s an example of the scoring system above using Foreground Eclipse - If You Feel Like Sinking Down.
8.7 (Rating) + 1.8 (Catfit) + .0 (Artist) = 11.0 points (Total)
Each player’s lowest score will be dropped and replaced with their best score. This also means you can skip one category if you want to, although I’d prefer to listen to a full sub. Up to you though.

TDLR; Scoring is kind of convoluted but it seems to have worked very well last walrus and fortunately any overcomplicated scoring is mainly my problem to deal with, not so much yours, and I made a spreadsheet to automate most of it anyways.

Banned Artists:
I’m not going to explicitly list a bunch of banned artists, but I have a few rules.
  • Don’t send stuff by artists if you know I’m really familiar with them.
  • Don’t sub songs if you know they’ve been subbed to a past walrus of mine.
  • Don’t sub songs if you know I’ve used them in a past walrus of mine or sent them to someone else for their walrus.
  • Don't sub the songs categories are named after or any example songs.
  • Don’t sub songs from the shows the anime categories are named after to their own categories- if you want to send a song from one show to an unrelated category, go ahead.

That’s it, just don’t try to break those rules and we’re good. If you break one on accident then oh well, it’s an accident, it’s fine- if it’s one of those last two rules I will ask you to change songs though.

Musical Tastes
I don’t mind most noise, screaming, robotic voices, or other extreme musical styles. I have no preferences on song language. I like to read the lyrics to songs if they’re not English but it doesn’t matter too much unless it’s a lyrically-themed category. A slight majority of the music I listen to is in Japanese and while you’re free to send me Japanese stuff the language specifically won’t help. It’s less preference, more what I’m used to and what my peers listen to.

Favorite genres: Breakcore, melodic death metal, shoegaze, J-core (the electronic genre), denpa
Genres I usually like a lot: House, psytrance, most electronic sans EDM/dubstep, most metal sans ‘classic’ stuff, “noise” music, disco, funk, J-pop
Genres I usually hate: Top 40-style pop, country (especially pop country), and some rap (it’s really hit or miss with rap, if you want to sub a lot of rap you can look at my old walruses or ask me for more detail, there is rap I like)
Things I usually like a lot that aren’t genres: Anything that makes me groove or headbang, songs with lots of synth, songs with lots of cowbell, cool sampling, songs with lots of horns, extremely cheesy music, sometimes loud chaotic things that others find unlistenable but that I find ‘cool’
Things I usually hate that aren't genres: Boring music. I can listen to a song for 10 minutes or more no problem if it's engaging me or has a cool atmosphere, and do so with a lot of metal and trance or whatever, but if the song bores me then my patience is gonna run out really quick. Really subjective, I know. This seems to pop up most often on the bad side of indie music and droning metal or generic electronic music that wants to go for that super long song length common in the genre without actually having anything to validate such a length. TLDR; boring is bad, long and boring is double bad- justify your length, do something cool with it.

Anything not listed I don’t think I have a bias for or against but feel free to ask if you want!
Genres do end up influencing scoring as ratings are based on whether I, in particular, like the song, but it’s not the end of the world if you send genres I’m not into. There’s plenty of songs in genres I like that I don’t like and plenty of songs in genres I don’t usually like that I love. You can focus on genres if you want but for the most part just minimize the amount you send me genres I usually hate and you’ll do fine.

Categories
Category 1: Look, I’m Dancing
There’s… a certain thing that’s inseparable from music. The urge to move- to groove- to get down on the floor. You know what I mean? Send me a song that’s certain to get me up and out of my chair and into motion. One where the groove is not just there, but is irresistible.
Example Songs:
Rhlgull - B.O.O.T.Y
STAYC - So Bad
Kenshi Yonezu - Loser

Category 2: Initial D (Second Stage)
“Don’t die.”
Two cars flashing through the night, competing to be fastest there is. You’re in one of them, speeding down a mountain in the middle of the night with the pedal to the metal. What kind of music is blaring on your stereo while you risk your life in a race?

Send me something you’d listen to with your heart pumping and the engine purring during a street race- catfit will be generous since hey, it’s your car, your playlist! As long as it fits your vision of what to play during a race, whether I think it would doesn’t matter as much.
Examples:
James Shimoji - Yellow Line
Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell
Marko Polo - Speedy Speed Boy

Category 3: We Have to Leave This Town Because I Have Done Something Unforgivable
So, have you ever made a mistake? Maybe a lot of them, or maybe a big one? Me too. Anyways, I’m gonna need some songs about those- mistakes, I mean. The specifics don’t matter too much: Whether they’re looking for forgiveness or embracing their mistake, or whether the mistake is happening during the song or in the past- it’s all fine as long as a mistake has been made.
Examples:
Nine Inch Nails - Hurt
Stew - Gary Come Home
Saka-ROW Kumi - NEET Generation

Category 4: Samurai Flamenco
“Your words may make sense, but my heart of justice tells me not to listen!”
Samurai Flamenco, like most of the universe, defaults to a natural state of chaos. That is all you need to know, and on the very very slim chance that anyone reading this actually wants to watch Samurai Flamenco someday, it is all you want to know.

Send me music that doesn’t quite make sense. The chaotic, the dissonant, the things that may make you go “How did this get made? Why?” but which you like nonetheless. As long as it’s chaotic and/or strange (whether in a musical sense or a ‘how does this exist’ sense) it’s up my ally for this category.
Examples:
chipmunks on 16 speed - Heaven Is A Place On Earth (“how does this exist”)
rokutoshichi - stylus has not yet jump (“what is going on”)
Necrocomiccon - Careless Whisper [Volume Warning] (a little of Column A, a little of Column B)

Category 5: I Wish
I have things I want, and I’m sure you do too. Whether that be some intangible hope or dream, or that Cool Thing™ being sold on Amazon for 12 payments of $99.99. I want songs about wanting something (or some things).
Examples:
The Stone Roses - I Wanna Be Adored
Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Someday
Weird Al Yankovic - Ebay

Category 6: Macross 7
“Listen to my song!”
You are in a giant robot, witnessing a clash between humanity and an alien race. While everyone else is fighting, you’re shooting speakers at both sides while shredding your electric guitar and forcing everyone to listen to your song. One of the pilots on the human side, in vain, is begging for you to stop singing in a warzone.
But there is no stopping your song.
Send the ridiculous, over-the-top music fitting of someone who thinks they can move literal mountains by singing to them. Songs that are so cheesy you’re amazed, or so self-indulgently fun it’s difficult not to smile. And if you can it’d be nice to hear someone shredding in there, but it’s by no means required.
This category I don’t just like fun. I BELIEVE in fun. LOUDLY.
Examples:
Fire Bomber - Planet Dance
The Weather Girls - It’s Raining Men
Akyra Eurobeat - Never Gonna Give You Up (Eurobeat Remix)
Ladybaby - Renge Chance

Category 7: Announcement: I Am Cute
Hello, yes, despite reality suggesting otherwise, for this category and this category only I am cute. Possibly the cutest. And to truly embrace that fact, I will need cute music. Give me the musical equivalent of having a diabetes-inducing sugar rush and the hyperactivity it causes. Something that sounds like a unicorn vomiting out rainbows into a field of lollipops. You get the point- happy sounds, fast sounds, some cute high-pitched vocals if you can swing it, two out of three ain’t bad regardless of which two they are.
Or, if you prefer, you can deny this category’s false reality and substitute the real one- I am not cute, nor will I ever be cute, nor do I even want to be cute. Send me the darkest, moodiest, music you have. Something that will drag this unicorn down into the cosmic sludge and fill it with ultimate despair as it melts into Cthulhu’s embrace.
…or if you somehow figure out how to send both at once you can do that. It’s a tough mix to find but hey, there’s usually around 20 of you participating, someone will probably try.
’Cute’ Examples:
Katagiri - Scattered Pancakes
Porter Robinson - Get Your Wish (Anamanaguchi Remix)
Camellia ft. Nanahira - Super Slow Internet-san
Takagaki Ayahi & Akesaka Satomi & Tomatsu Haruka & Shimono Hiro - Waga Na wa Shougakusei

’Dark’ Examples:
The Goslings - Croatan
Ulcerate - Stare Into Death And Be Still
CLOSED/UNDERGROUND - Kuusou Ruumba

Category 8: Space Brothers
"Some things can't be prevented. The last of which, is death. All we can do is live until the day we die. Control what we can... and fly free!"
Space Brothers take a pretty serious approach to space travel. It’s hard to get up there, and only a select few can get into space after a lot of training. Space is an amazing place with lots of cool things, but that’s not all. Space is also a very, very big place. You can be out there for a long time, and you can get lonely in the process. Send me a song that you feel captures being adrift in a space. There’s only a tenuous connection to Earth and, for some reason or other, no one to keep you company.
Examples:
Alex Gray - Hypersleep
Shiro Sagisu ft. Mike Wyzgowski - Nothing Can Be Explained
Key Sound Label - Town, Flow of Time, People

Category 9: Video Killed The Radio Star
Music is (somewhat obviously) still the most important thing when it comes to a song for me, but judging off of just music is forgetting about something- the video. Video Killed The Radio Star was the first music video to air on MTV, and since then we’ve had more than a few songs that have gotten famous or ‘gone viral’ mainly from their videos, or from videos others have made with the song playing.
Send me pairings of song and video (it doesn’t have to be the official music video though- go wild if you want to) which can be appreciated together.

Since the songs are really just as important as the videos here, the song and the video will be worth the same amount of points while scoring.
Examples:
Policeman - Gal Man Declaration
That1Guy - Modern Man
Toe - Goodbye
Mindless Self Indulgence/Anna Zoey - Ass Backwards/Evening Tale For Stupid Children

Category 10: Space Dandy
“Live with the flow baby.”
Sometimes things are rough, and we like to panic. But in that case, why not just go with the flow? Sit back, chill out, and see what life has in store for you. And for that, we need some chill tunes- but nothing too boring either, it still has to have a bit of a groove. Something that’s chill but makes you feel good, you get me?
Examples:
Junk Fujiyama - Stardust Pipeline
Stars - Hold On When You Get Love And Let Go When You Get It
Supercell - Feel So Good

Players
Names in bold have finished submitting.
1. Aladyyn
2. termi
3. Rainshaft

4. BrainpanSonata
5. Racebandit
6. vanity
7. hollowkatt
8. Shad
9. Eagle4
10. Lebossle
11. nutella
12. pisxel
13. Laurel
14. Schizoaffected
15. Schiavetto
16. KarmaDope
17. Bloobird
18. R-B-Y
19. LordQuas
20. Moose
21. MNIN West
22. MNIN East
23. soah
24. Martin
25.
...

The tentative deadline for submissions is March 4th. I need at least your first category submission by then if you plan on joining, although if you could get all your songs in beforehand that would be nice.
 
Last edited:
There's about 9 days left to send me a sub for Cat 1 for anyone who's interested in subbing (deadline is the end of the day March 4th). I'll send out pings to anyone on Smogon who has expressed interest but not submitted closer to the deadline. At the moment I believe that's just Eagle and Laurel (dunno if termi still visits the forums or not).
Also, might do an informal jam session of all the songs that made my "best songs of the walrus" lists at the end of my walrus to kick off this one which is about one cat worth of songs alone. Dunno, I'm on the fence about it. Curious if that interests anyone regardless.
 
Sending out pings now, five days until subs close. On the off chance anyone knows ahead of time you won't be able to sub in time but want to participate, tell me and it'll be fine as long as I get something for Cat 1 a couple days before it reveals.
Notifying those who have expressed interest but not subbed yet: Eagle4 shubaka17
 
Today is the deadline, so if you want to participate a Cat 1 sub would be appreciated within the next 24 hours or roundabouts. I'll still take submissions up to a few days before Cat 1 reveals, but ideally give me a headsup if you plan on doing that.
Eagle Shub
 
Now updating the thread to be up to date with the reveals. I'll post all the text for the "recapping best songs of past walruses" section now, and then the Cat 1 reveal after I format that for forum posting.
 
Walrus Flashback 2022
PART I: The Wall Ross Walrus (March 2019 - June 2019)
Category 2: MIDNIGHT FLIGHT: A Lonely Christmas Eve

Buckethead - Electric Tears [9.0, Lebossle]
Original Writeup: This is incredibly atmospheric. I wanted to just lie down and let the guitar take me away on a journey with this one.

2022 Writeup: Electric Tears is a very good album which I will use semi-regularly when reading something that warrants the atmosphere, alongside stuff like the Saya no Uta OST and other Buckethead albums. It’s just a guitar but the way Buckethead plays it manipulates my emotions so well. In my original writeup I say lie down, but honestly it’s more of sinking down. Not necessarily bad, but kind of just sinking down into the sludge, vaguely downcast as you plummet to the bottom of the emotional sea, into hibernation.
I’ve really learned how to make these writeups fancier over three years, huh. Or maybe it’s just with songs I really like.
2022 Score: 9.2

Category 6: What Is A DJ?
Dimitri From Stroke on Trent - I Wanna Be Your Lobster [9.2, Newcomb]
Original Writeup: Oooh yeah I dig this. This is funky as all hell. Vocals are on point and the synth is great, it forced me to get up and groove. Can tell the crowd is hyped up too, nice.

2022 Writeup: Since my first walrus I’ve listened to music by Dimitri both on purpose (because this was a great sub), and by accident. You see, Dimitri From Stroke on Trent is also Dimitri From Paris. Dimitri From Paris made the timeless classic Neko Mimi Mode, the Tsukiyomi OP which is house in backing and denpa in lyrics, going ‘Neko Mimi Modo’ to what can best be described as catchy elevator music for over four minutes. (he also made Tsuku Yomi Mode, which is very similar) Why am I saying all this? Because I find it mildly interesting and I will have no chance to bring it up for the rest of my natural lifespan if I don’t now. Anyways, this song is still amazingly funky, and it’s a great usage of what I now realize is a Prince sample. Love the instrumental solo that starts around 4:30, it is absolutely extraordinary and the bass (guitar) sounds great. I like this even better than I did a few years ago.
Also, I’m scoring this with a .05 because there is no scoreboard or placements to care about, excuse me while I laugh maniacally.
2022 Score: 9.3 points

Daft Punk - Around The World/Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger [9.4, Lebossle]
Original Writeup: ”We can remix it. We have the technology. Better than the song was before. Better… harder… stronger… faster.” Anyways, the song is great. The bass wants to kick my ass in a good way and I feel the need to break out a portable speaker and have a rave in my living room. If I’d heard it earlier this would’ve been the closer for Cat 3. Also, I like how I can hear the crowd getting hyped in the recording. It’s great.

2022 Writeup: Having listened to basically Daft Punk’s entire discography now where I’d only heard a lot of the older stuff during my first walrus, I’d say this Alive 2007 mix is still one of my favorite tracks from them. Touch and Instant Crush are probably the other two. This definitely sets a precedent for Cat 1 as something that makes me groove uncontrollably, as despite hearing this quite a bit since 2019 that bassline is still amazing. Maybe a little less impactful than on a first listen, but amazing. Would make me want to have another live music cat focused on DJing, if only in name only, if that didn’t make it hard to sub for half of you.
2022 Score: 9.2

Category 7: All I Need Are Things I Like
Grynpyret - A Song About Naps [9.1, qwertyuiopazs]
Original Writeup: ’That’s right – I’m sending in a lyric-less song, claiming it’s about liking naps’ - qwertyuiopazs. Well, the title supports you, so whatever. I did have the 0.1 theme option for this cat anyways. This is really chill, I like this. Reminds me of Snail’s House and I like future bass, so I’ll need to check out this artist in the future.

2022 Writeup: The profile on this instrumentation is still great, it’s exactly what I want to hear from a future bass track. Everything is very textured and I’m a sucker for neat samples and sounds, particularly when there’s a lot of them being stuck together. It’s a very relaxing atmosphere created in what I consider a pretty unique way. (not that in the genre is unique, but that this stands out among its genre) I imagine that it’s not quite as stirring as it was on my first listen, but it still barely makes my 9.0 threshold, although it is to the point where I actually have to think about whether it’s an 8.9 or a 9.0.
2022 Score: borderline 9.0

Category 10: 8675-309
The Prodigy - Omen [9.0, Lebossle]
Original Writeup: Oh, this goes hard, nice. You switched up a lot of your The Prodigy subs for the extra bonus points, but based off of this one song you may have done better on some of them if you hadn’t switched, I really like this. Beat is great and the vocals match up well.

2022 Writeup: While I’m into much more extreme electronic music than I was in 2019 nowadays, this is still very impactful. It’s not just the BPM that matters after all (even if I do love drums going brrrrrr), you gotta do something besides just being fast or loud. The section that starts around 2 minutes in is very nice, the bell sound that starts mixing in is pretty unique and it’s honestly a shame to see it go away- it’s very effective at building up tension before the next drop. Overall still pretty intense, and I really like the first drop and the bell that mixes in later. I’m more used to this stuff nowadays so it doesn’t quite hit 9.0, but I definitely dig it.
2022 Score: 8.8


Category 12: Pride From Despair
Cake - I Will Survive [8.9, BrainpanSonata]
Original Writeup: You really undersold this one, I dig this. This bass line is rocking and while the vocals are kinda ‘flat’ it… fits? If that makes sense? But yeah, this feels half song half jam session. Was hesitating over whether I should give it an 8.9 or a 9.0 since that’s a pretty big jump, and I was going to give it an 8.95 but that fucks up the scoresheet. Just let it be known that this is better than every 8 I’ve given.
Total: 8.9 rating + 3.9 theme + 1.0 bonus = 12.65 points

2022 Writeup: So this got me into Cake. They have some great tracks. Besides this one I particularly like Long Skirt, Short Jacket and their cover of The Distance . Still love the flat delivery on this, almost like it’s spoken word. Besides that the guitar still stands out, as well as the horn kicking in towards the end. Builds up to a great cacophony around four minutes in, where you have the singer vocalizing, some sweet licks mixing in, and the horn peaking all to create a nice wall of noise. Right now I’m feeling an 8.7 or an 8.8 on this- still really good.
2022 Score: 8.75

Part II: Another Wall Ross Walrus (December 2019 - March 2020)
Category 2: Life Isn’t Fair

Ludo - Lake Pontchartrain [8.9, BrainpanSonata]
Original Writeup: This goes way harder than I was expecting, both in terms of instrumental and vocals. Really solid. Overall it teaches us a nice lesson- don't eat crawfish or you die. Briefly considered giving this a 9, but unlike the Cake situation where it was a hard decision, here I feel it'd be unfair. Very solid 8, but I'm not gonna start crawling through the artist's discography immediately. In fact, this was originally rated lower, but it turned out to be too much of an ear worm- I've probably listened to it 10 times as of this writing.

2022 Writeup: This goes way harder than I remember. That said, I defend my original decision of not making this a 9.0. That given I’m not 100% sure how it ended up on that walrus’s best song list- maybe I included all the 8.9s, I can’t remember. Anyways, a great song regardless. It has a nice story, it’s still catchy, and they know how to go hard without having to necessarily go hard genrewise.
2022 Score: 8.7

Category 3: Don’t Say Lazy
Atari Teenage Riot - Start The Riot (Loud Remasters) [9.3, termi]
Original Writeup: Note to self: Give everyone a volume warning before you play this. Anyways, wasn't sure if I'd like this at first, but once the beat really kicked in I knew I would. This backing fucking rocks. I feel like I wouldn't like the vocals much outside of this, but they go really well with the ridiculously aggressive backing. My only real quibble is the vocal samples at the end, this song could've ended about 20 seconds earlier than it did.

2022 Writeup: Well, we can tell one thing from this- I was a lot more cautious about giving you all volume warnings in early 2020. Now I just expect that you come into my reveal prepared for noise and screamo. Uh, I’ll probably be polite and give you warning for this anyways since this is a big genre shift. I probably got this sub just around the time I was properly getting into breakcore from J-Core instead of just listening to it on occasion. Not this kind really, or the Venetian Snares or Aphex Twin kind, mainly Japanese DJs with excessive amounts of samples from VNs and anime- but breakcore nonetheless. Goreshit, DJ Sharpnel, Lolishit, that kind of thing. Good timing (or at least I think- my memory is fallible and I’m too lazy to check when I added certain songs to playlists or downloaded albums just for this writeup). As for this song… I have no idea why I never really got into Atari Teenage Riot from this- I think I have an album or two downloaded that I just never got around to listening to- but this is great. Frantic drums and a matching amount of noisy aggressive screaming in response.
2022 Score: 9.4

Category 5: Black Magic Woman
DM Ashura vs. Sanxion7 - Ethereality [9.1, RaceBandit]
Original Writeup: The beat on this is sicker than an island full of lepers, goddamn. The weird stringy-sounding synths, the way the vocals are mixed, everything just comes together into an awesome mix. I'm definitely gonna look into these artists further.

2022 Writeup: ...I said my writeups have gotten fancier since my first walrus but it seems my penchant for purposely ridiculous metaphors hasn’t changed much, huh. I should try to include those more. I guess this is more traditional EDM as far as genre goes, which isn’t always my thing, but this song does a lot to make me like it. The instrumental section around four minutes in is great and leads into an aural assault of a drop that I can’t help but love. Vocals are a bit weird listening to it now but they fit with the song and aren’t bad-sounding to me. Just slightly weird. Enough to lower it by .1 and nothing else.
2022 Score: 9.0

Category 8: Countdown
Blue Stahli - ULTRAnumb [9.0, Lebossle]
Original Writeup: Not really much to say about the instrumental besides that it is BLOODYcore sounding, it goes hard, I like it. Really good song, vocals fit into my niche and I really like when the effects start showing up on them. Gonna have to check this artist out, this is really good even if others may think it sounds too edgy.
Edit: I've heard Shotgun Senorita by them but I had no idea it was by them, so full artist bonus stays. Without this sub I would've just not remembered they existed.

2022 Writeup: My idea of ’BLOODYcore’ sounds a little different nowadays but this is still my kind of thing now, yeah. Not what I’d put at a nine now but I’m not sure if I’d put down to tastes shifting slightly or what. Anyways, kind edgy sounding metal/electronic mix, it’s still down my alley. The vocal effects are a cool draw here and I feel like they add a lot to the song. Sure, I like screaming, but electronic-sounding screaming? By god, count me in!
2022 Score: 8.8

Category 9: Bad
Night T4 by The Gerogerigegege scored a perfect 10.0 in this reverse scored category, meaning it would be eligible to be here if I went purely by score and nothing else. That is all you need to know for historical walrus significance and all I care to say.

Part III: BLOODY’s 2020 Walrus (October 2020 - May 2021)
Category 2: Very Noise

Fantasy - Against All Logic [9.0, MNIN West]
Original Writeup: This isn’t super ear bursting loud but that crunchy electronic noise and a couple other parts really burst out and bury themselves in your ears. What a great wall of noise, it’s ridiculously catchy and I want to just sink into it. Gonna have to check this artist out, this is sick. I’m gonna read this as nutella because they mentioned something like this after last reveal and I have no other nutella reads.

2022 Writeup: Cool albums, I recall being slightly disappointed that not all the tracks were such absolute bangers like this one, but they’re still very cool and worth listening to. If You Can’t Do It Good Do It Hard is probably my favorite, besides this one. Maybe I should give them another listen. Anyways, there’s not a ton of additional input I have on this. Super crunchy electronic sounds and the vocal filter is sick. It’s a nice wall of static and sound that I can sink into while I jam. I stick with my original rating.
2022 Score: 9.0

DAI DAI DAI - KUTIUTUSIUTUKUSIWI [9.0, MNIN East]
Original Writeup: This is really hard for me to describe besides going “It’s fucking awesome”. You got some cool uplifting poppy/electronic stuff, then breakbeats, and I dunno man, it’s… it’s cool, alright? It goes KUTIUTUSUITUKUSIWI and stuff and it makes me happy but also makes my head bang. A lot of stuff stayed kind of static while ranking this category but this was a grower. This started at 8.5 and now we’re here. Here’s a 9, there’s a 9, can I just give everything a 9?

2022 Writeup: I believe I went trawling for albums by this artist during the walrus itself because this is 100% down my alley. They have some cool stuff, this included. Very much like their sound profile, they manage to do happy breakcore without constantly going super frantic, using an anime sample every five seconds, and pitching up the vocals. Like, those aren’t bad things to me at all, I love that, but it’s nice to hear something different. Anyways, it makes me feel like I’m hyperactive without that while doing weird movements in my chair in sync. This is still a very addictive song, and I can feel myself getting back into the groove with it. Wasn’t sure on that 9.0 at first, but after a couple listens it works its way up like during the original scoring.
2022 Score: 9.0

the goslings - croatan [9.2, Egix]
Original Writeup: Not particularly into drone stuff but this has a great atmosphere about it. The guitar has some real impact and gives the track some sort of melody, and the weird distorted Pink Floyd(?) (these could be completely original but they sound uncannily similar to Pink Floyd to me) vocals combined with the wall of sound behind it add a hard to describe, vague ‘atmosphere’ to the track that feels like what most doom/sludge stuff should be aiming for. This is awesome even though I’m not normally into the genre. This feels like it could be termi or Quas but I already have termi accounted for so I’ll guess Quas.
Autplay fucking hates me though, IT CAN’T MAKE ME LISTEN TO THAT BAND AGAIN.



2022 Writeup: This builds such a great atmosphere that I’m lacking in words to properly describe it. To me specifically this is some of the best of what you get from ‘sludgey’ stuff, and while it’s kind of exhausting to listen to it regularly it’s such a great song when you do hear it. Sound profile is like someone just layered five tracks on top of each other and let the drums clip but, like, in a good way. That’s the appeal. Have come to appreciate this slightly more since last walrus, I’ll bump it up a bit in retrospective.
2022 Score: 9.3

Category 5: Karma Chameleon
Car Radio - twenty one pilots [9.0, Brainpan]
Original Writeup: ...It’s popular, Energy I guess? Could technically be Brainpan too, it kind of reminds me of Watsky. I enjoyed this a lot more than I expected to, it has a really cool build from almost nothing to DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH, it’s all electronicy, and while the vocals aren’t super my thing the “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH” is great. Oh, and then he starts screaming. The screaming is great.
Edit: this was already scored highly but then it started growing on me more, especially when I knew what was coming up, I’m a big fan of this song in particular.
Edit Edit: the experience of weird vocals that slowly grow on me with quiet audio, then quiet wubs, to literal screaming, and then back to quiet is probably enough to clinch a 9 here, it’s just such a nice self-contained cycle.
Impersonating Energy

2022 Writeup: Ok, so, uh, I got a little bit of flack when I gave this 2nd place. A massive amount of flack actually. Unfortunately you will not be vindicated much here, this is still great. I don’t think I find it 9.0 great anymore though- I’m really here for the climax, not the build, and if I give something a 9 it needs to have more than a really good climax. But still, it is a really good climax. Still good, mid-8 territory here, would’ve been 5th if no other scores changed in the cat it was originally from.
2022 Score: 8.6

(image courtesy of MarcherJovian)

STACY - So Bad [9.3, MNIN East]
Original Writeup: Hi shub. Hi MNIN. (Hi Aladyyn). Holy shit is this a banger. The beat is wild, super danceable, and these vocals hit in just the right way. Goddamn. This forces me to dance. Like, not just seat dance, actual dance. First song I can recall that does that is Loser by Yonezu, and that song is amazing, like a 9.4 or 9.5 for me.
EDIT: NE MORI MORI, NE MORI SUKI, NA NA NANANANANA
Impersonating shubaka

2022 Writeup: This has experienced a very slight downtick due to me listening to it too much, but it’s still a great song. It’s hard to express why in terms of instruments or vocals honestly, it’s just like what the originally writeup says- it forces my body to dance despite any commands my brain has to the contrary. And that is a powerful thing. Also, I find it funny that I ended up unconsciously turning that writeup into a song category- this is basically just Cat 1, and this and the aforementioned Yonezu song are two of the examples. Good job brain, you know what I want.
2022 Score: 9.2

Category 6: Motivation Is Dead
Emanuel and The Fear - Jimmie’s Song [9.1, nutella]
Original Writeup: This isn’t what I was looking for with this category but it definitely fits. Listening to this hurts in the same way that listening to Okkusenman does. Similar themes: both are about killing yourself with work, although in this it’s more about never being able to reach your dream instead of never being able to get those innocent childhood days back. I guess it’s kind of the same thing.
God, this shit always makes me want to be a NEET, but that’s probably the worst alternative of all.
Instrumentally it’s cool and the singer is alright (could be a bit more emotional, even if it sounded terrible I wouldn’t care, this is the kind of track where you just scream it out) but the existential suffering is why it’s scoring so high.

2022 Writeup: Yeah, this is still relatable in some ways and painful since I haven’t really overlistened this song. Uh, let’s discuss the musical elements instead of going further down that alley. I really like the slight synth element that comes in throughout and there’s some really good use of horns here during the climax of the song. Also some cool use of a rarely used element- whistling. Really adds to the emotional profile of it all, very melancholy.
2022 Score: 9.1

Category 7: We Could Get More Machinegun Psystyle! -And More Genre Switches-
Sweet Trip - Pro : Lov : Ad [9.1, ladd]
Original Writeup: This song has a couple big changeups. It's all experimental and busy, then it goes quiet, and then it bursts into a motion again in a different way than before. It technically stays within the same electronic ballpark, but it definitely counts for this category- the changes in mood and approach change too much for it not to be. Anyways, I absolutely love this song, it has all the good parts of breakcore and experimental electronic while eschewing some of the noise and chaos I've grown used to. The energy on this track is amazing and it's impossible to listen to without bobbing my head around and vibing. Based on this and other walrus subs I've seen from Sweet Trip I’ll have to check them out in full.dd

2022 Writeup: I have no idea why that guitar shows up near the start of the song but I really like its inclusion and it’s a shame there’s not more of it. Not that it’s too big of a loss- you get the pew pew pew sounding bass after that and really this is just a nice, comfy wall of sound. Big fan of the solo around two minutes in with the drums. That being said though, I don’t seem to get quite the same impact I got from this on the first listen. A shame, but this is still a very fun, multilayered track as far as weird electronic stuff goes. Cool sampling, very textured, and pretty unique. Great song, just not amazing.
2022 Score: 8.7

Category 8: I Hate People+
Asa Chang and Junray - a last flower [9.3, Adam]
Original Writeup: Holy shit, this is haunting and anxiety inducing. I need to move Aku no Hana up my plan to watch list, huh. Out of all the tracks I've gotten these vocals nail being inhuman best. Listening to this is like staring into the face of something that you shouldn't be, something that's inherently incompatible with humanity and is trying to imitate human speech but just can't.

2022 Writeup: ...I never did get around to watching Aku no Hana, although I did watch more anime than usual last year. Maybe it’ll be time after I’m done watching the entire Macross franchise and finish up Mononoke (2007). I scored it really high, it deserved that score, but I figured it’d fall down since the impact of listening to it for the first time was lost, and that’s a big element for it. But no, I think I’d place this the same scorewise as I did originally- the slow, anxious build throughout the entire song as it goes faster and faster is just too good.
2022 Score: 9.3

Category 9: Friday Night
Various Artists - Hot Plate Vol. 1 [8.9, termi]
Original Writeup: The energy on this is THROUGH THE ROOF, and even without extremely fast, wild beats it reminds me of some of the cool electronic sets I've gone wild to. Undisputably the cat winner, and anything that can get me that excited and into it is obviously great as well- as I said before, the energy on this is just wow.

2022 Writeup: So, I spent some time looking for any follow up as this was volume one, but couldn’t find it on my selection of album downloading websites. Just now I realized that I’m an idiot and it Hot Plate Vol. 2 was Youtube all along. Guess I know what I’m doing after finishing these writeups. Anyways, the groove factor on this is extremely high, and it’s altogether an extremely well-done disco mix. I said I was unsure whether I should give it an 8.9 or 9.0 when grading this but y’know what, I robbed this of the 9.0 threshold, I really did. It’s just that catchy.
2022 Score: 9.0

Category 10: Time
Kashiwa Daisuke - April.02 [9.1, MNIN East]
Original Writeup: And now second up in our series of ‘songs I didn’t know when MNIN subbed them but now know of’. Although this one isn’t just a mashup I just, uh, found the artist like a week after the walrus started with this exact song. Great timing. Since he asked ahead of time and I went “nope, never heard of them” I’ll just leave the familiarity points in the pre-walrus state and move on with the song itself.
This is a really good neoclassical piece. It has some elements of noise but it doesn’t get aggressive, and all the intermixing of experimental with orchestra is really amazing. Amazing song.

2022 Writeup: It feels nice that we get to end on the 27 minute chill song- good coincidence. This is still great, I’ll just point out some highlights which I’m sure won’t get weird. I very much like when it bursts into activity somewhere around the five minute mark I think, and how the violin line stars taking control and building up some tension a few minutes after, shifting from chill electronic/classic mix to SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN IN THE VIOLIN SECTION AND WE BETTER BE REA- oh hey dolphin noises that’s nice. Around 18 minutes in there’s this fall to silence and a slow build that I very much like, which leads into some cool clipping vocals which sound almost ghostly in nature. And OH GOD NOW THE PIANO SECTION IS FREAKING OUT DID THE GHOST ALREADY KILL THE VIOLINS?! And then a last fall to silence after a struggle, after the ghost finishes murdering most of the orchestra and wanders off to do other ghost stuff (this is canon to the song, trust me)
Anyways, uh, it’s still a good song! I like Kashiwa Daisuke as atmospheric listening stuff, much like Buckethead. It doesn’t feel like a 9 to me right now, but a lot of that may just be me not being in the mood and me having listened to the Youtube upload instead of the downloaded album which I think is actually noticeably worse for me audiowise. So yeah, giving it an 8.8 but may want to put an asterisk next to that- may vary.
2022 Score: 8.8
 
Category 1: Look, I’m Dancing!
Header:

Syncatto & Charlie Robins - Look, I’m Dancing

24th:
Gunhild Carling - Orys Creole Trombone
I personally can’t get into this at all, but it has its upsides. Lots of horns, neat atmosphere, and it’s a novel sub- I don’t hear this kind of music very often. It doesn’t make me dance, but I totally get that it could make others dance. Feel a little bad putting this so low, but I just don’t vibe with it. Might use it someday if I need to GM a game set in a New Orleans-style city though.
Total: 5.6 rating + 1.3 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 7.9 points
Submitted by Bloobird

23rd:
Mis-Teeq - All I Want
I, uh, have never really listened to this kind of music much. Feels Spice Girlsy which isn’t really my thing, but hey, even if I don’t dig the super poppy vocals there’s a nice beat there at least. Like, that still doesn’t really make it my thing but I can’t hate it or anything, beat and the inclusion of horns is appreciated. On the dance-o-meter this achieves a foot wiggle, which is respectable.
Total: 6.4 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 8.9 points
Submitted by pisxel

22nd:
Avenged Sevenfold - Malagueña Salerosa
I’m gonna guess Karmadope. Would say maybe Brainpan but I know what he subbed. I’m gonna be honest, this song doesn’t make me want to dance in the slightest, but since I am hungry right now it does make me really want tortilla chips. Like, the chips Mexican restaurants make, not tortilla chips out of a bag. The atmosphere is unusual and while I can’t say I dig it a ton, I do appreciate it- the Latin musical influences are cool and I don’t listen to much of that stuff. Pretty neutral on this as a whole but it was worth being exposed to- didn’t know Avenged Sevenfold had songs like this too.
Edit: listening through again, I have salmon defrosting in the fridge I was planning on having with rice but this kinda makes me want Taco Bell instead
Uhhhh, I guess I’ll get Taco Bell tomorrow
Total: 6.8 rating + .9 catfit + .6 familiarity = 8.3 points
Submitted by KarmaDope

21st:
Bala Desejo - Baile de
I’m trying to form an opinion on this but it’s hard. This has fun parts but for some reason it’s not really sticking in my head or gripping me at all. It feels like background music I guess? I don’t dislike it but I can’t say I liked it very much- just couldn’t gel with it.
Total: 6.8 rating + 1.3 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 9.1 points
Submitted by MNIN West

20th:
pluffaduff - Work It Into Overdrive
Moose? Hi Moose. I haven’t really listened to as much pluffaduuf as you thought surprisingly enough, just a little. If there’s a cat mashups are good for it’s probably gonna be here, Cat 4, or Cat 6. This one doesn’t really hit too well though. I’m familiar with both source songs and I’m gonna put this as “better than Overdrive but worse than Harder Better Faster Stronger”. Nice novelty but not something I’m super into, mix sounds kind of weird for lack of a better word. Appreciate it on a technical level though- this seems like it was hard to make and pluffaduff is cool.
Total: 6.9 rating + 1.4 catfit + .7 familiarity = 9.0 points
Submitted by Moose

19th:
FAUN - Baluder
I feel like there’s a lot of room for who subbed this- feels Aladyyn-y but I have a different Aladyyn read, maybe it could be soah or Shad? I’m pretty sure Shad likes atmospheric pagan folk, let’s go with him until I find a meme read I give to him instead. This is a cool track and I like the atmosphere, but although I appreciate the diversity I find myself struggling to groove to flutes and what seems like some sort of didgeridoo-ish instrument. Still, mild head-bobbing achieved and it’s a cool sub, really like the inclusion of what sounds like bagpipes to me but which I can’t wholly pin down the instrument of.
Total: 7.5 rating + 1.3 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 9.8 total
Submitted by soah

18th:
Mondo Grosso ft. BoA - Everything Needs Love
This is nice. The vocals are good and the backing track is really comfy. Doesn’t really rouse me up, but it does induce some headbobbing while I’m doing other things. The inclusion of the clapping sound of the beat is good, as well as the looping vocal sample.
Total: 7.6 rating + 1.5 catfit + .9 familiarity = 10.0 total
Submitted by MNIN East

17th:
Anri - Snowflake Street Corner
City pop? A surprise, but a pleasant one. Induces casual, non-intense grooving. I like how relaxing this track is, and the light usage of the, uh… I wanna say sax is done well. Certainly a calming, preemptive break for some of the songs that will end up following this one.
Total: 7.7 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.3 points
Submitted R-B-Y

16th:
Moreart feat. IHI - Я буду ебать
Not gonna lie, on my first listen to this the vocals sounded too silly to me to properly react to but I’ve gotten used to it. This is still pretty silly, but hey, it’s silly in a good way. Beat makes me move, and the men making weird noises at me in between Russian rapping go well with it. Also, interesting lyrics.

Total: 7.7 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.4 points
Submitted by LordQuas

15th:
Azari - Shadow Shadow
I’m going to assume Rainshaft for this and future vocaloid subs unless there happen to be two in one category. Uh, I’ve seen this blank channel around and listened to a couple songs in passing but couldn’t tell you what the titles were because at the time I never bothered reading the description. Regardless, don’t think I’ve heard this. Short but sweet, you have a good driving beat and a pretty cool mix-up with the instrumental around a minute and some change in. Doesn’t force me up, but it does induce head-bobbing and related BAD (BLOODY Automatic Dancing) Phenomena. Would make for a sick Halloween party music selection.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.7 catfit + .9 familiarity = 10.4 points
Submitted by Rainshaft

14th:
Keiji Yamagishi - Kaleidoscope
I like the vibe on this. I feel like it reminds me of Jet Set Radio for some reason so I’m just going to say ‘dunno, maybe quas sent this’ and call it a day on reads. The chiptune swing is a pretty unique sound profile and I like it. I should check out this soundtrack to see if it has anything else in this vein, it’s a cool style and it seems really promising to my ears. It definitely induces groove. I’d want to say this something to put on a casino level (like the one Sonic Heroes), but that’s not quite fitting- I’d be too busy vibing to platform or do much else.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.6 points
Submitted by Shad


13th:
Twenty-One Pilots - Shy Away
Is this and Brainpan’s sub last walrus how I realize that I might like Twenty-One Pilots? This is a fun dance track, can’t knock it. Unfortunately their light ‘screaming’ here is very poppy and restrained, but hey, they have records to sell, they can’t scream through a whole poppy dance track even if I think that’s a splendid idea. Induces mild movement, doesn’t hit my sweet spot for dance but is certainly in spirit of the category.
Total: 7.9 rating + 1.3 catfit + .3 familiarity = 9.5 points
Submitted by Laurel

12th:
Taverna - Cooley's Reel
Not part of my usual strike zone, but I like this. Usually I find folky stuff pretty boring, but this is a very active track in that regard- the main instrument I can’t quite pin down the name of gets faster as the backing increases in activity and it all mixes together to create something that’s really fun. It’s not quite making me dance, but we’re getting some foot-tapping going on here. Good stuff. And a timely sub seeing that’s it’s Saint Pats as I’m writing this.
Total: 7.9 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.4 points
Submitted by Martin

11th:
Megan Vice ft. Fake Money - All of the Time
I misread the artist as Megan Trainor before listening to this and was scared. Fortunately this is much better. Sick synth line and I’m a fan of the weird vocal mixing solos which make me want to ‘shake my groove thang’, or whatever the audience I’m writing this for would call it because I’m presumably supposed to be pandering to you somewhat when I’m not going on long tangents about minor details I found AMUSING and which you MUST hear about.
Anyways, yeah, fun song!
Total: 7.9 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.6 points
Submitted by Schiavetto

10th: [8.X barrier, +.5 points]
The Family Crest - Howl
Random nutella read from this thumbnail. The vocalist sounds a little… weird to me in a bad way, but that doesn’t stop this from being a good song. Love the vibe here, not quite sure what you’d call it as I’m not well-versed in jazz subgenres. The cello(?) provides a great base for everything and these are some great horns. Kind of addictive, and doesn’t induce full dance, but I still have some movement going on.
Edit: I think I pinned down what’s kind of weird on the vocalist for me, he sounds like he should be in a musical or something and I don’t generally like musicals.
Total: 8.0 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.1 points
Submitted by nutella

9th:
ENHYPEN - Drunk Dazed
I know this isn’t MNIN because I know their first cat eastern sub for this, not shub because they haven’t subbed yet, I’m gonna say Aladyyn by process of elimination? This song, if you watch the video and read the lyrics at least, has what I can only describe as a ‘pretty boy vampire’ aesthetic ala Twilight or… well, I haven’t watched Vampire Knight or Rosario x Vampire but I’m 99% sure one of them is a shoujo about ikemen vampires so I’ll mention them too. Anyways, uh, I’m a straight dude so it makes sense that aesthetic wouldn’t hit home for me but who cares, the song is a banger. I came close to losing my body and dancing, as the lyrics so aptly mention, but I do keep some restraint. But without leaving my chair, I’m doing all the dancing I can otherwise- the signature all-directions BLOODY headbob, the feet tap and wiggle, the cursor dance. Very danceable, very cool, I think the vocal effects combined with that strong bassline are really what tie this together. Whether I get addicted and hit replay (play) (play) is yet to be seen.
Edit: my thoughts going back to regrade this during my last listen throughs of everything were just “ah yes, it’s the gay korean vampires” (before listening to the song and reforming actual opinions about it)
Interpret that as you will
Total: 8.1 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.4 points
Submitted by Aladyyn

8th:
greyl - Fujin Summer
Guessing Leb partially because of bandcamp. This feels a lot like Moe Shop but with slightly less obvious Japanese sampling. Very comfy song, which I find kind of funny since it has what my brain has come to term as the ‘breakcore scream’ sampled in places, as well as the Nanahira song where Koishi goes to Earth, becomes an otaku, and then gets shot into space forever- I’m sure you instantly know the one based off of that description o dear reader. [this]. Then again, that one is a Halozy song so it doesn’t go too hard. Not quite forcing me into motion but this is pretty danceable, and addictive on top of that. Fun song, I should check out this artist.
Edit: Apparently Bandcamp can give you popups asking you to buy what you’re trying to listen to and support the artist, possibly if you listen to a song too much without buying the song/album, blocking you from listening to it again without paying. Deleting Bandcamp cookies fixes it though.
Total: 8.2 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.2 points
Submitted by Lebossle

7th:
Supersystem - Click-Click
vanity read on this off the album cover. I’d be lying if I said I got into this immediately but that bass guitar line that starts at, like, a minute at a half hooks me. It starts mixing in with the weird ‘alien nerds with a synth’ vocals and the beat in a great way and then BAM HORN SECTION, you’re done, there’s no resisting. Game over, you’re dancing. It doesn’t quite get to that high again, but it’s a great ride while it lasts.
Total: 8.3 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.6 points
Submitted by vanity

6th:
PSY - Daddy
This has no right being as good as it is. Like, when I hear Psy I assume super generic EDM, and I guess this doesn’t completely buck that assumption but it’s still a level past my expectations. Neat vocal mixing, if not anything amazing, and a solid, groovable beat. It makes sense how the man managed to make such a breakout worldwide hit like Gangnam Style, (besides, of course, the elements of randomness involved in anything going that viral) although I like this significantly more . Great track.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.7 catfit + .6 familiarity = 11.2 points
Submitted by BrainpanSonata

5th:
Round One - I’m Your Brother
Comfy song. Doesn’t make me feverishly dance, but it’s hard to resist the urge to sink into this and just start moving with it for a while, and that’s worth noting in its own way. I feel like that’s one of the great things long house songs can do. Just pull you in and make you melt into them for a while.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.7 points
Submitted by termi

4th:
t k - MAKE IT FUNKY NOW
``This don’t think this is rhythm game music but it really, really feels like it. My reads are just gonna be who I think might sub that. I know this isn’t MNIN or I might’ve guessed him, and Marcher isn’t in this. Racebandit or Leb? Anyways, the beat on this is absolutely nasty- phew, it hits hard without being hard. Short track overall but absolutely addictive, and we’re reaching the point where I may or may not be forcibly removed from my seat and pushed into motion, depending on outside variables. Awesome sub and a great catfit- all has been made funky now.
Total: 8.5 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.9 points
Submitted by Racebandit

3rd:
Sofi Tukker - Purple Hat
people people dancing on the people, dancing dancing people on the walrus dancing on the people
This song is addictive and it makes me (people) want to dance because goddamn, it just flows together too well, how are you going to not dance?
Total: 8.6 + 2.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.1 points
Submitted by Eagle

2nd:
Sonniku - Joyful Death
Man, the beat on this is strong, the producer may as well be slapping you in the face as you’re listening. I dig it. This doesn’t force me to get up and groove, but it does induce extremely vigorous chair dancing, whether I want to engage in it or not. Love how active this is. Maybe it doesn’t need to go on for quite so long and it will wear on me a little in relistens, but for the first listen it has managed to keep me enthralled for its runtime; the bass line is just too good.
Neutral towards the vocals. They do a decent job of bringing the song to an end but besides that they’re just kind of funny to me. Gonna read Quas or possible Eagle or soah here.
Edit: the vocals have grown on me, they’re silly in a good way
Total: 8.7 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.1 total
Submitted by SchizoAffected

1st:
Front 242 - Welcome to Paradise
Gonna make a termi read on this. The start of this has some really interesting sampling and the song seems to simultaneously build the so-called URGE TO GROOVE and tension. No, we’re not just dancing here- we’re having a religiously fueled mental breakdown on the dancefloor, dropping not just fire dance moves, but fire and brimstone. And while I, uh, don’t really have enough religious knowledge to properly simulate the brimstone part, I can dance! This makes me want to dance (see: flail around) quite a bit.
Edit: the drop is absolutely hilarious and this song is great
Total: 8.8 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.2 points
Submitted by hollowkatt


Closer
Girl Talk - On and On

That brings a close to the first category of BLOODY WALRUS 2022. Here's where our scores stand so far:


Next time on BLOODY WALRUS 2022:
https://files.catbox.moe/zp3l8t.webm (pretend this is embedded as a video, I'm not uploading it to Youtube)

It's Category 2: Initial D (Second Stage), where we'll race til' we crash or reach the finish line.
The reveal will be Monday, April 4th.
 
Last edited:
Category 2: Initial D (Second Stage)

Header:

m.o.v.e. - Blazing Beat
I’m grading this during Spring Break, which means I get to do it in my spinny chair that I can tilt around in while pretending that I’m turning corners. This will make grading significantly more fun and help accurately simulate the driving experience. Probably

24th:
My Chemical Romance - Planetary
I’ve heard some My Chemical Romance, not really a fan. Don’t have anything against them, just haven’t really liked them outside of the really big hit, Welcome to the Black Parade. I don’t hate this or anything, it’s just kind of… overly radio pop sounding and kind of boring to me. Rather neutral really. Catfit wise I can definitely see it- it has the right sound for a lighthearted sort of race, maybe the kind of thing you’d see in a movie where it’s not the focus but shows up or something.
Edit: oh, I could also see this being licensed for some old PS2 racing game, I remember playing NASCAR 2005 or something from a similar year and the music was pretty much this
5.8 rating + 1.8 catfit + .5 familiarity = 8.1 points
Submitted by KarmaDope

23rd:
AOA ft T.M. Revolution - Give Me Love
Oh hey, I love T.M. Revolution, particularly all of the stuff he’s made for Thunderbolt Fantasy. This song sounds weirdly K-Pop for something being sung in Japanese so I’m just going to assume it’s by a K-Pop producer/group, possibly covering it in Japanese for the Japanese audience or something. Mood feels weird in places for a racing song but I definitely get why it was chosen. MV is completely racing themed, there’s plenty of car noises and cars being driven, and it’s not like the mood is a complete wash even without the specific theming- it’s pretty upbeat. As for the song itself, I don’t have a ton to say about it. It’s ok, and it’s nice to see T.M. Revolution, but it’s weird how his sound here is more croony and less… I don’t want to describe it as ‘epic’ but let’s just say epic for simplicity’s sake [for reference]. So yeah, I wasn’t blown away by AOA unfortunately and the feature wasn’t what I was used to from him. Not bad, but a bit of a miss with me.
6.4 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 9.2 points
Submitted by Aladyyn

22nd:
Deep Purple - Pictures of Home
Gotta be honest, I don’t know much Deep Purple past Smoke On The Water, so going into this I’m curious if their sound will be at all similar, or if it’s one of the cases where the hit is really different.
Onto the actual song, the bass solo is really cool as well as the… what is that, some electronic synth organ thing? Whatever that is, that’s pretty outstanding as well, I don’t hear that often. Outside of those two sections it’s a little hard to get invested in the song, I seem to flip flop a little on it whenever I come back to this one so it probably depends on my musical mood beforehand.
7.0 rating + 1.6 catfit + .8 familiarity = 9.4 points
Submitted by Martin

21st:
great water - Takyon in the 90s
If this two minutes longer I would be much happier. Ok joke as is but ends before I can properly enjoy T-TAKYON.
7.2 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 9.9 points
Submitted by Moose

20th:
Hole - Celebrity Skin
Yeah, I can hear the catfit in part of this, although it seems like more of a joyride thing than a race thing. Although I guess it could fit okay for either really. The song doesn’t have anything I REALLY like, but it’s not bad by any means.I like the vocals, and I appreciate that the song doesn’t overstay its welcome. If this were, like, 4 or 5 minutes then I’d probably get a little tired of it, but at its current length it’s enjoyable.
7.3 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.0 points
Submitted by pisxel

19th:
Dionysus - Home
This feels a little bit like generic EDM but manages to avoid the trap a lot of generic EDM falls into by… simply having a better beat than such songs I guess. Like, the beat on this is nice, there’s no denying that. Maybe the structure seems a little generic, but it has the untz spirit. I can hear the catfit here and I like it. Not a ton stands out here to me but I like this tracks nonetheless.
Edit: ok maybe it didn't completely avoid that trap
7.5 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.3 points
Submitted by Laurel

18th:
Fang Island - Welcome Wagon
Yeah, I can see this. Cool, weird mix of an almost proggy guitar solo and something off of a Tony Game for the PS2’s soundtrack. Like, I can totally imagine racing another skater in a Tony Hawk game to this… although it’s been so, so long since I played one so I can’t remember if they actually had races or if I’m imagining that. But yeah, it’s a cool guitar solo that I can vibe to and not much more than that for better or worse. Fun.
7.6 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.3 points
Submitted by Bloobird

17th:
Cattle Decapitation - Bring Back the Plague
I’d be lying if I said I completely understood why this was subbed, but there are certainly worse choices for driving music than angry metal. The drumming in this is cool throughout, and outside of that I appreciate the slower section as well. The moodier guitar and change of vocal style is a nice change-up. Gonna give a general metal subber read on this, I’d normally guess soah but it seems like it might not be their thing, so maybe them, maybe Karmadope or someone else I’m not super familiar with?
7.8 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.4 points
Submitted by soah

16th:
High on Fire - Fury Whip
Definitely get the racing catfit here, something about this song just screams “death race across a Mad Max-esque wasteland” when you think about it through that lens. Or maybe I’m just squinting too hard imagining the drum beating at the same pace as the wheels jumping up and down as two armored cars with guns fight each other because I really want a new Twisted Metal game. Regardless, I think this is a really fitting sub to this cat and a fun enough background listening, although it falls into that trap where if I actually try to listen actively it becomes less engaging. Silly and enjoyable, but not enough for my full attention perhaps.
7.8 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.7 points
Submitted by Shad

15th:
Long Distance Calling - Black Paper Planes
What I’m thinking about the most this cat in terms of catfit is whether something would make sense while going fast, and in that sense this is kind of a miss for me. I do think the intensity despite the slower pace of a lot of the song is pretty fitting though, so I’ll bump it up a bit from my hard “generous catfit category” minimum of 1.5 I’ve set for myself beforehand, not accounting for really weird subs like… I dunno, 4’33 or classical piano or something. Anyways, the song itself. The mood appeals to me, and whatever that second, quieter string instrument is during the slower parts it’s a really nice inclusion. I’m not gonna say this can properly compare to Buckethead for me, but this does feel just a bit like a much heavier Buckethead. Kind of long, moody, and guitar-focused.
7.9 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.5 points
Submitted by nutella

14th:
PeriTune - Havoc
I initially did a big dumb and graded your Category 3 song for this and was so confused on the catfit. The catfit here is pretty obvious though, even if it’s not perfect. The instrumentation kind of screams ‘royalty free music’ to me but the actual song is outstanding despite the connotations that might bring up. You can hear the MIDI but in a good way- it reminds me of an older JRPG boss theme. Cool track, I like how I feel nostalgic despite this being my first time hearing it. It makes me want to go back and finish some of the games I put down… after I finish what I’m playing now at least. I still have the Atelier Ayesha post-game to go through, where I fling all the consumables I crafted at bosses for 10 minutes straight.
7.9 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.6 points
Submitted by Racebandit

13th:
IDIOTAPE - Melodie (11111101)
Mmmmmm, now we’re racing. This mood fits great with this category and makes me think of a sci-fi race sequence. Tron comes to mind, but I haven’t watched that in ages and it seems like the wrong kind of sci-fi for this. Anyways, the synth on this puts in a ton of work while the drum ties it all together, solid song and a spot on racing theme. Really like the build at about three minutes in, builds up tension well for what would presumably be a climatic scene. Although maybe a guy going “this is rock n’ roll” is not the best sample they could’ve used to cap it off, heh.
7.9 rating + 2.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.9 points
Submitted by SchizoAffected

12th: [8.X barrier, +.5 points]
Earthgang - Red Light
First listen of this I straight-up couldn’t tell whether I liked this or hated it, and put off giving a proper judgement for a further listen. But it grew on me. The beat is cool with some really interesting lighter, sort of ethereal sounds on top of heavier bass. This was what initially reached out to me, and after a few listens I started liking the rapping on this track a lot more. Bigger fan of the main vocalist than the secondary one, but both are enjoyable.
8.0 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.2 points
Submitted by Schiavetto

11th:
Sidewalks and Skeletons - Cybercrimes
The mood on this isn’t what I expected but it matches with the racing theme really well to me- something like cyberpunk drag race, kind of gritty, weird electronic imagery, you get the vibe.
8.0 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.2 points
Submitted by Lebossle

10th:
Polyphia - Finale
Polyphia is as fun as always, although this isn’t one of my favorite tracks of theirs or anything. Honestly, Polyphia would’ve never come to mind as something to play during a race for me but I kind of get it. A sort of fading into the zone as you drive approach to it rather than a need for speed one. Great band, good song, maybe I should give their discography a listen again.
8.2 rating + 1.7 catfit +.2 familiarity = 10.6 points
Submitted by BrainpanSonata

9th:
Metaroom - God Race
The mood of part of this track seems slightly off for a race, but hey, whatever. Maybe it’s not a street race- maybe you are both unspeakable elder gods racing to the heat death of the universe instead. I can see that. As for this song itself, the atmosphere is really cool! While I’m at it the video is similarly cool, although that’s not accounted in scoring and I feel like I might die in seven days now that I’ve watched it.
8.2 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.4 points
Submitted by LordQuas

8th:
Judas Priest - The Sentinel
This is really cheesy (probably before what it was doing was cheesy) but I would say it’s cheesy in the best way. Who doesn’t enjoy some shredding and vaguely hair metal-ish screaming? Totally get the race vibe on this, and this is way too fun to not like.
8.3 rating + 1.9 catfit + .7 familiarity = 11.4 points
Submitted by R-B-Y

7th:
Giant Swan - 55 Year Old Daughter
I get big rave vibes from this. It’s not your happy hardcore sort of thing, s3rl or whatever, yeah, but this goes great with the video. Flailing bodies, the beat cutting in and out like strobe lights cutting in and out, a bit of sensory overload. If that were the category, fuck yeah, I get it completely. Racing is a little less clear, but I can certainly hear it. Tension building, the car shaking with the choppy beat, maybe the dark beats around a minute in popping in as you glance out the window and see that if you swerve the wheel a couple inches to the left you’ll go shooting through a guard rail and off a cliff at speeds incompatible with human life.
8.4 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.7 points
Submitted by MNIN West

6th:
Alpha Team - Speed (Club Mix)
Love how the sound effects and sampling push the theme oh so aggressively. Besides that you’ve got a powerful beat that fits the mood and a funky bassline that fits way more than you'd think it would. Gonna guess MNIN because muh cool club music with cool sampling. Although based off only Cat 1 it could be hollowkatt too, dunno what they’re into very well.
8.4 rating + 2.0 catfit = 1.0 familiarity = 11.9 points
Submitted by hollowkatt

5th:
Mova Evie - Lên Mâm / Forehead
Reading this as probably Quas because it seems like something he’d like. Gonna be honest, this isn’t close to anything I would sub to this category but whatever, it’s your car, your radio, as I said I’m not sinking anything for catfit this category. Getting away from catfi a bit, this song is great. Doesn’t give off speed to me but the entire first half does give off a certain intensity, which I’m guessing is why it was subbed. After that things get a little ethereal. Maybe the adrenaline high hit, maybe you crashed. Beat hits hard and is entertaining throughout, and the flow mixes together with it well. Good mix.
8.5 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by MNIN East

4th:
LIQ - BR Law
Oooh, I always appreciate some metal Miku. This track is high-energy the whole way through and I love it. Pretty reminiscent of my favorite vocaloid metal stuff, guitar and drums come on strong and there’s some neat electronic inclusions in the instrumentation as well. Need to check this artist out in the future. Also, inclusion of rap elements is unexpected but appreciated. The rapbot has a good flow.
8.5 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.8 points
Submitted by Rainshaft

3rd:
Net Gala - Resolution III
Oh fuck yes, this may be breakcore but it carries the spirit of Eurobeat. We’re speeding down the highway at god knows how many miles per hour with THE CREATURE THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED overtaking us and being overtaken by us, its reality warping 4th-dimensional hearse warping in and out of existence. The beat is our heart and the synth our mind, slowing down and speeding up with the revolution of the engine as we engage in a street race of unheard of proportions, both in speed and cost in human life.
So, uh, yeah, what I’m saying is that I like the song. It makes my brain release the happy chemicals and is exciting. Beep boops good.
8.9 rating + 2.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.4 points
Submitted by vanity

2nd: [9.X barrier, +1.0 point]
Baauer - REACHUPDONTSTOP
This would’ve been such a good sub to the last category as well, this song is addictive, the beat is great, and works together so well with the vocals in forcing you to REACHUPDONTSTOP. But I guess while the natural urge is to REACHUPDONTSTOP dancing you can also REACHUP on the accelerator and DONTSTOP the car. Regardless of whether my instinct is to grade this as a dance song since I just graded Cat 1, this still fits pretty well here, particularly with the climax. This is too much of an earworm for me not to like, amazing hook, extremely fun, I need to check out this artist. Really like the switch up near the start where it goes from a focus on sharper percussion from something like J-Core/trap/breakcore and swaps it for a focus on ‘wider’ percussion.
Edit: y’know, the DONTSTOP DONTSTOP is really growing on me catfit wise. Your car is going god knows how fast, everything is a blur, and you’re on a straightaway. At this point you aren’t even thinking anymore. You just got your hands glued to wheel, knuckles white, and all you know is that you DONTSTOP DONTSTOP.
9.0 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.8 points
Submitted by Eagle

1st:
LFO Demon - Classwar Dynamite
I have not yet had the pleasure of being properly acquainted with Reggaecore, and this is a great introduction beyond what I’ve heard in passing. This definitely captures the idea of speed to me even though it’s not what I came into this category expecting to listen to- great stuff. The percussion on this is absolutely OVERBEARING. You come into this unprepared and you’re going to be under sonic attack, it starts and it never stops. Great instrumentation, great choice of samples, love it.
9.1 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 13.0 points
Submitted by termi

Closer:
Queen of Times - Ever and Ever
I kind of wanted to put the actual ending song for the show the category was based on here but, well, it’s a ‘sad’ rock song made for the credits after all and is pretty boring after you just sat through the podium. So why not take my favorite insert song that played during the second season of Initial D and play that instead?
Also, yes, the third of a reader who cares specifically about the process of me choosing the closing song for the category, deciding on the one to play from the 16 viable options was hard. Deja Vu is great but overplayed, Grand Prix and Big In Japan get a little bland, and Take My Soul and Goodbye Yellow Brick Road just didn’t feel right. Ever and Ever it was.



Next time on BLOODY WALRUS 2022- Category 3: We Have to Leave This Town Because I Have Done Something Unforgivable. Time to take a sharp turn from dancing and races to mistakes and regrets.
 
Alright, I have been freed from my prison once more.
Category 3: We Have to Leave This Town Because I Have Done Something Unforgivable will be revealed on Sunday the 22nd at 2 PM GMT -5 (Central Time)
 
Category 3: We Have to Leave This Town Because I Have Done Something Unforgivable
Header:

Peter Talisman - We Have to Leave This Town Because I Have Done Something Unforgivable
I’m, uh, kind of uncertain if some of these songs didn’t fit the catfit or if I am too dense to understand the delicacy of a well-crafted song. Maybe that’s my mistake for this cat.

24th:
Allie X - Love My Wrong ft. Troye Sivan
I’m kind of getting a vibe that it is an unhealthy sort of ‘trophy girlfriend’ relationship from the lyrics, what with the mention of him ‘loving her wrong’ and ‘dressing her up to the nines’ and his wallet and all that, and I’m gonna say that’s just enough for the cat although I’d rather have one of the singers acknowledge that they messed up in one of the things they specifically did, and just not that the outcome of their relationship is bad for a snug catfit. But that might just be me getting nitpicky, I’ll leave the catfit at ok. Onto the music.
This is not really my thing and it doesn’t do anything interesting or exceptional enough to me to let me overcome that and like it anyways. She’s a nice singer but this is the kind of music I actively avoid and it’s really wearing on me after additional listens.
Total: 5.0 rating + 1.4 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 7.4 points
Submitted by pixel

23rd:
Jessica Darrow - Surface Pressure
First listen and I honestly don’t properly get the catfit here, but maybe I’m just too tired right now and can’t parse song lyrics properly. As for the song itself, I’m honestly not a theater kind of guy, and this kind of music screams (or rather, sings) theatrical to me. I’m sure others like it, but it’s not my style and doesn’t stand out enough to make me like it despite that. Ok as is.
Edit: yeah, the last line and how it ties into the track is all I’m getting catfit wise, maybe it’s something I need to have watched the movie to understand? Guess I’ll get called out during the reveal if I just don’t get it.
Total: 6.2 rating + .9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 8.1 points
Submitted by BrainpanSonata

22nd:
Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest
Definitely not new to me, but hey, it’s definitely a catfit. The angle here is neat, what with a dude panicking over all his mistakes and wishing people would forget them… although personally a more “My Name Is Earl” approach where he strives to actually make up for them would probably be more interesting than the standard Linkin Park angstfest.
Anyways, not my favorite Linkin Park song at all, but Linkin Park is fun, I can’t dislike Linkin Park.
Total: 6.6 rating + 1.9 catfit + .0 familiarity = 9.3 points
Submitted by KarmaDope

21st:
The Naked And Famous - The Mess
These vocals might be the hardest sell you could’ve given me. The association I’m drawing from them is sickly sweet pop, High School Musical, Glee, Broadway, nothing I like. The backing does a lot to help, particularly the solo with that harsh, electronic sounding instrument I can’t quite pin down, but I’m still really conflicted whether I can get over the other half of this to like it. I’ll give it some listens and see if it grows on me.
Themewise, I’m not really getting any mistakes from the singer’s point of view, it’s just the singer tearing into someone else for all the bad things they’ve done to the singer that they don't want to own up to. Is the mistake that they didn’t do this earlier? Am I supposed to be viewing this from the other character’s point of view and thinking that they messed up to provoke this reaction? Sorry, I don’t quite get it.
Edit: I’m very slowly building up a resistance to the singing but it’s tough going. I could probably see this going up a little with more listens, so I guess if this rises a place or two depends partially on how much I get to listen to this before the reveal. I feel the need to reiterate that I really like some of the elements here it’s just, uh, divisive.
Total: 6.7 rating + 1.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 8.7 points
Submitted by Aladyyn

20th:
Simon & Garfunkel - Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M.
Musically, not a huge fan, but I appreciate how it captures the feeling of someone who just shot themselves in the foot and ruined their life for, well… fuck all really, $25 and a few pieces of silver. The singing pairs itself well, with the detached quality here really helping to amplify the feeling that this situation shouldn’t be real, even though it is, echoing well with the line ‘My life seems unreal, my crime an illusion’.
Not really my thing for everyday listening but I am appreciative of the artistry behind it.
Total: 6.8 rating + 1.9 catfit + .8 familiarity = 9.5 points
Submitted by Martin

19th:
Lau Noah - La Soledad
I’m sorry, I don’t understand the catfit. Solitude shows up under their pillow and lurks around while being likened to a lover and… I don’t particularly see any terrible consequences to this, regret, or mention of them messing up to make it happen. I suppose if I interpret the ‘chorus’ I may be able to get that they’re somewhat forcing themselves into solitude, and the ending line ‘please be merciful’ does add an ominous tone to it all.
Songwise, it’s a quiet, emotional track on a Spanish-sounding guitar. I can appreciate it for what it is but this doesn’t register super highly for me. Just a miss I suppose.
Edit: ok, on a rereading I get way more, particularly with her asking for forgiveness and slightly roundaboutly lamenting how fear drove her away from love, bumping catfit up a by a lot.
Total: 7.3 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 9.8 points
Submitted by Schiavetto

18th:
Stevenbgell - Smells Like Teen Spirit vs Hurt with Johnny Cash
Oh, I see you were inspired by the Hurt example. Neat mashup, while I’m here I’m going to say that I think the NiN version of Hurt is better than the Johnny Cash version by a lot, although maybe I’m just saying here that I like industrial music more than slow guitar ballads. As for this track, uh, the echoy background effect was nice and I think the instrumental was used pretty well. My listen was appreciated and spent in general comfort, although the message is slightly watered down by the Blue Oyster Cult’s appearance.
Total: 7.5 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.2 points
Submitted by Moose

17th:
GWAR - Fistful Of Teeth
This song screamed Shad to me, right after I opened it and when I’d barely heard any. Could be wrong about that but hey, I’ll confidently write down my unconfirmed guesses for you all to enjoy.
And now that I’ve actually listened to the song I’m just going to double down on that read, this seems like the kind of thing Shad would find fun. I’m now going to describe the story of the song because come on, that’s really the main attraction here, not the music, and if the rest of you are anything like me you won’t get what’s going on without reading it.
On an ordinary day under the, presumably, smog-choked sky on a, presumably, irradiated wasteland, our hero slaughters a great many for the joy of battle. In the process he stumbles across a lass who is quite distraught at the slaughter of her family. Doing what any sensible murderhobo does, he courts the lass in the apocalyptic way, and has a mutant baby with her. Then he eats both of them. We are left with a great regret in the end, concluding our protagonist’s growth arc- why did he eat only one baby, when he could have had two? Or, perhaps if we are to make a modest proposal beyond the source material, why eat two instead of four? The wonders of compound interest may be in effect here, or perhaps those of mass production.
End scene, close curtain, a fistful of teeth are thrown at the audience for dramatic effect.
Total: 7.6 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.1 points
Submitted by Shad

16th:
C. Tangana - Demasiadas Mujeres
I suppose our angsty, sexy shirt wearing celebrity’s mistake today is having too much sex with too many peole. A common problem for angsty, sexy shirt wearing celebrities I suppose. (except Linkin Park’s singer earlier, although I guess he might not have had a sexy enough shirt) Not a story I particularly care about, but it fits the cat and I kind of like the visual of him sitting in a confessional in the music video. This is overall neat but something I wouldn’t playlist, but there are a couple of highpoints I want to mention because they stand out to me. The trumpets at the start, and the peak near the end. Both stand as really cool inclusions, and break the mold of the better-than-average but not particularly outstanding (to me) song sandwiched in between.
Edit: oh no, this is catchy
Total: 7.6 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.3 points
Submitted by LordQuas

15th:
Sueco - Loser
This is really silly and I feel like I shouldn’t like it as much as I do, but I like what I like. It’s a very recent track but it feels like a throwback to silly mid-2000s stuff that I’m also more fond of than I would expect. Blink-182, The Bloodhound Gang, that kind of thing. Musically, it’s short, sweet, and I really like the build starting around halfway through. A fun time.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.5 points
Submitted by Laurel

14th:
Jeff Rosenstock - I’m Serious, I’m Sorry
I really want to read this as Zack or DLE but neither of them subbed to this so I guess I’m out of obvious guesses. Really like the vocals here. I’m not a sucker for pop punk or alt rock or whatever you would consider this to be, but I appreciate all the energy that is put into it when he yells. Story is a little ambiguous but it seems like someone’s boyfriend died and our protagonist fucked up in responding to it and must now SCREAM HIS EMOTIONS AT US IN MUSICAL BOLD FONT. He fucked up, he regrets it, and he wishes he could apologize. That energy is really what the part that I like from this, although unfortunately it’s the only part I really like from this. The rest is just fine to me.
I appreciate having listened to it, good track, even if it’s pretty uneven in which parts I like.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.7 points
Submitted by SchizoAffected

13th:
Rage of Light - Mechanicals
Not quite a personal mistake but the collective fuckup of unleashing a robot horde upon the Earth’ll work. I guess the synth is here to add to the whole futuristic apocalypse feeling, and for what it is I think it’s done decently, although in some parts it could mesh a little better with everything else. Clean vox are a little weird but after a listen I guess they’re growing on me, the growls are fine and appreciated. Overall, fun. As per the markings on the video, my favorite section is probably “Bridge 2”, like the backing piano and the vocals are all growls.
Edit: ok, yeah, it was just a first listen thing, fine with the vox now.
Total: 7.9 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.6 points
Submitted by soah

12th:
mothy - The Letter She Kept Waiting For
I have to admit that some of these instruments sound overly midi-ish, but I like the song. It has a decent story behind it even if you don’t have any of the lore of the Daughter of Evil series to reference, and the tuning is done in a way that adds a lot of emotion to the ‘singing’.
Sidenote, I did check out some of the other songs from the series when I remembered there was more. Didn’t listen to a ton but Daughter of White was probably my favorite.
Total: 7.9 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.8 points
Submitted by Rainshaft

11th: [8.X barrier, +.5 points]
Number Girl - Sappukei
The lyrics don’t directly speak as ‘I made clear mistakes’ but more as ‘my struggle did nothing’ to me, but I’ll take it. I do like the theme I get from the lyrics though; the image of a former protestor who’s seen death, been beaten down, and who to keep their head down at the cost of their own self-respect. Maybe I’m misinterpreting it a little, I only really skimmed the original lyrics and then read through a translation but… whatever, I like what I got from it.
Musically, it’s cool. Not a ton to say about ‘voice echo, guitar rough, there is some screaming’ but it’s my sort of thing and this is someone I will probably get around to checking out further.
Total: 8.0 rating + 1.4 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.9 points
Submitted by vanity

10th:
Blank Banshee - Teen Pregnancy
I didn’t expect this kind of groove from a track about teen pregnancy but I’ll take it. I like the mix of the vaporwave synths with the distorted vocals, it strikes me as a cool contrast. Not one I take any deep inner meaning from or anything, just enjoyable.
Edit: for some reason my comments were set to new on this video even though it’s not for others, and I was really confused why a Japanese diary entry about someone’s 13th birthday in 1997 was the top comment. I’m still somewhat confused as to why that is a comment, but less confused than if it were the top one.
Total: 8.1 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by Bloobird

9th:
Sonata Arctica - Paid in Full
I always meant to listen to more Sonata Arctica, thanks for the reminder. Right off the bat I’m getting a strong whiff of cheese from everything present. Fortunately I like cheese, and that kind of comes with the power metal territory, so no complaints here. Lyrics are about a dude lamenting the slow collapse of his relationship and how it’s all his fault, solid catfit. Fun track, induces headbobbing, I really like the vocal harmonies and the interpretation I’m getting from the lyrics where his relationship has fallen apart because he’s chasing ultimate power (possibly in wizardy or some such field, likely via some sort of dark magic because why not).
Total: 8.2 rating + 1.7 catfit + .7 familiarity = 11.1 points
Submitted by R-B-Y

8th:
Nine Inch Nails - Kinda I Want To
Heh, a NIN sub to the category I used Hurt as an example to. Alright then- I haven’t listened to all their albums through or anything, so we’re striking new ground here. Maybe I can get around to another round of listening to them with this as a reminder. So, what I get is that a mistake is about to get made. The lyrics and a similar track from Downward Spiral (I want to say Big Man With A Gun but I’m not inclined to check right now) make me assume rape. Musically I’m inclined to like this, the style is something I gel with and I think it works fairly well with the dark subject matter in portraying stuff like loss of humanity, loss of innocence/goodness, loss of sanity, etc.
Honestly not the kind of person who is properly equipped to do a deeper analysis than ‘music meshes well with style and I feel like it may intensify along with the character’s warped desires’ here. I’m rather lacking in the music theory department. Great track.
Total: 8.2 rating + 1.8 catfit + .3 familiarity = 10.8 points
Submitted by hollowkatt

7th:
DITZ - Clocks
First off, I’m really digging this album cover, with the weird masks pressing against plastic wrap upon their emergence from the darkness, like a legion of ghosts trying to press towards you. Prepares you for what’s coming too I suppose. Don’t get a clear cat fit on this at all but I’m paranoid that I might be missing something here so if I’m just dumb explain it to me later.
I enjoy how the speed/intensity of the vocals changes throughout, with the instrumentals doing a very good job to match those changes. Also, this has a great deal to improve my view of using car horns as a musical instrument, similar to the contribution Jailbreak the Tesla made for car keys and other such noises.
Total: 8.3 rating + .6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.4 points
Submitted by MNIN West

6th:
Baths - Phaedra
I’m not at all an authority on Greek mythology, but I think a few quick google searches, a couple readings through the lyrics, and a glance at some genius annotations (some questionable, some not) have given me a decent understanding of this song. A lot of this is about the betrayal of a lover, but I definitely get the angle of this being a song about mistakes the singer has made if we’re to read this from the point of view of her husband, Theseus (or an equivalent character if we’re just treating this as a tale analogous to that of Phaedra and not the literal myth, which I feel is a more appropriate here). The line ‘I let my vision vignette and eye’ particularly stands out to me in looking for mistakes, likely referring to how they didn’t look hard enough to see through the lies of ‘Phaedra’ and committed a grave mistake similar to Theseus killing his son.
So yeah, the percussion is pretty strong and I feel like it meshes well with the singer’s demeanor and the saddened piano to create a regretful track with some energy to it. An enjoyable listen.
Edit: Sidenote, I spent like five minutes trying to remember what the right word was before I remembered ‘analogue’, but I somehow got to ‘analogy’ and ‘apocryphal’ first, neither of which made any sense. I need to transfer my brain to a SSD.
Total: 8.3 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by nutella

5th:
Kulara - Brown Knife
The first two words of the lyrics sum up a lot of emotions towards the music here. “Disordered tuning”. Everything’s out of control and we’re trapped in disorientation and dementia, in a back and forth between an aimless stumble forwards and anger driven by regret. “Did the ignorance cause this tragic ending?”
There’s not much more to talk about than that I suppose. This kind of long, experimental thing is something I find easier to talk about it feelings and moods than anything else, and which is generally hard to describe in much more accuracy then ‘ooOOOOOooh hear the wild sounds!!’.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.6 points
Submitted by MNIN East

4th:
Nicolas Jaar - History Lesson
Love the lyrics on this, they’re minimal but tell a compelling story. Same with the vocals. I’m not quite sure how to describe them, but they’re very unique. Kind of reminiscent of a barbershop quartet, but the overall style has a big departure from that. On the mention of minimal, I feel like that describes a lot of this song. Going slower and making the best use of every note before exploding in glorious rapture for a bit. Or perhaps I’m just way too used to unabashed chaos, and normal music sounds ‘minimalist’ to me now.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.8 points
Submitted by Eagle

3rd:
Download - Base Metal
Alright, I’m a sucker for a neat, aurally pleasing sound effect throughout the song tying into the story of the track. The flowing of liquid throughout representing the speaker bleeding out is much appreciated, and makes it the third song in this category that really reminds me of Hurt, what with the similar effect. Theme is a little more on regret of what they didn’t get to do then a particular mistake but I’ll take it- they are bleeding to death, that’s quite the fuck up. Not sure if I get all the story in the track but oh well, maybe it’s a whole-album thing, I’ll check it out later.
Overall, this has a lot of cool sound effects, vocal effects, and so on and so forth. A little sparse besides, but I appreciate what’s there and enjoy the atmosphere it builds.
Total: 8.5 rating + 1.1 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.1 points
Submitted Racebandit

2nd:
Celldweller - Blackstar (Deluxe Edition)
I love the start of this track. A little silly, but it feels like I’m being sold on some futuristic amusement park, or somesuch similar land of wonder- BLACKSTARRRR. Actual song isn’t quite so happy lyrics wise, but the fun mood kind of remains. Kind of whiplash-inducing, but psh, who cares, it’s fun. Not sure if there’s some outside lore I’m missing but it seems like instead of an intergalactic amusement park, we have a mistaken wish summoning horrifying blackstar riding monkey’s paw wish-granting being(s). And you can’t fix it- no, you’re royally fucked, and will get monkey’s pawed whether you like it not.
Fake lore aside, as I mentioned before, this song is just so fun. Everything fits together perfectly to create this wild sci-fi atmosphere that it’s impossible for me not to groove to. It’s great.
Total: 8.7 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.8 points
Submitted by Lebossle

1st:
bedwetter - stoop lights
Yeah an entire song that goes, ‘I have destroyed my life with drugs and am fucked’ is definitely a cat fit, and the delivery meshes with it so well in mildly unsettling me. Regret wasn’t necessarily a requirement this category but this track definitely captures that feeling. The haunting echo in the background of the instrumental really helps create that mood and work with the depressing lyrics. Really appreciate when good lyrical content finds a fitting musical match.
Total: 8.8 rating + 2.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.3 points
Submitted by termi

Closer:
Afroman - Because I Got High
The happy cousin of ‘bedwetter - stoop lights’. Funnily enough, I chose this before I heard that for this category.

With three scores in the table we switch to sorting by the post-drop scores, and with it comes some big shakeups.



NEXT TIME ON BLODDY’S 2022 WALRUS:


It's Category 4: Samurai Flamenco, where nothing makes sense.
 
Category 4: Samurai Flamenco
Header:

Spyair - Just One Life
To start us off on the right foot and to forward my very minor secondary goal of possibly getting someone to watch it, let’s kick off the category with some comments on Samurai Flamenco I dug up from eight year-old 4chan archives..
“Samurai Flamenco was one of the best fever dreams I’ve ever had.”
“What the fuck did I just watch?”
“So what the fuck is happening now? This is still a comedy right?”
“I want to get off samflams wild ride”
“I'm having a hard time coming to terms that this is what I'm watching now”
“The train has sufficiently derailed and is now headed to space.”
“I'm on the verge of crying.”
“it`s been a while since i last felt unable to tell what is going to happen or what is going on in a show, good job samurai flamenco.”
“Clearly, they have something bigger in mind than what we're seeing now, but I really don't know what.”

24th:
Pokémon Anime Sound Collection - The Matter's Settled
Binaural Quagsire Hypnosis 2022 100 % guaranteed to work (PLEASE SUBSCRIBE)
Total: 4.3 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 7.2 points
Submitted by Moose

23rd:
Rob Craft - IV. (Peripeteia)
I don’t get why this vaguely ominous orchestra track is here. It’s not particularly weird, musically or in the sense of ‘how and why was this made’. As for how I like it… well, I’m not terribly into subdued orchestral pieces, so while it may serve as fitting background music in a piece of media, I just don’t want to actively listen to it very much.
Total: 5.0 rating + .5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 6.5 points
Submitted by Martin

22nd:
Cabaret Voltaire - Nag Nag Nag
I feel that there is a world where I love this song, praise the harsher backing string, and this gets like 7th, but as it is I’m actually just kind of bored by it. The whole package isn’t bad persay, but the nice enough instrumental with ‘nag nag nag’ over it is just not interesting to me for some reason or other. A swing and a near miss.
Total: 5.9 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 8.6 points
Submitted by hollowkatt

21st:
FalKKonE ft. Rena - RE: Final Fantasy VII - One-Winged Angel
This isn’t bad at all, but I can’t get away from wanting more on this track. For “intense metal” it all feels really clean, and the instrumentals feel a little… weird, for lack of a better word. Maybe they’re samples and not recorded by the cover artist, and that’s making it sound off to me?
Ultimately, it’s something in a genre I like, but it doesn’t terribly stand out, for the good or bad. Like a meal I eat regularly, but missing the seasoning.
Edit: quas village mindmeld
Total: 6.0 rating + 1.2 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 8.2 points
Submitted by KarmaDope

20th:
Horsedick.mpeg - Suck my dick
My first time listening to this I experienced a deep, aimless confusion, before realizing that’s why we’re here. I don’t like Horsedick.mpeg’s art, but I respect it. And it does put a smile on my face.
Edit: I’ve given other songs 2.0 catfits for this category and do feel that they deserve them, but it still legitimately feels a bit unfair given that I can distinctly say that this confused me the most by far (even if that’s not the whole category/catfit). Most of the first listen I spent staring into space, not really thinking about the song really, or the writeup, or anything, just… confused. And that says something. Horsedick.mpeg is a little hypnotic really, kind of like the 40-minute long experimental ambient electronic tracks that MNIN and M7 seem to like, just in a different fashion.
Total: 6.5 rating + 2.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 9.5 points
Submitted by Laurel

19th:
Neil Cicierega - Limp Wicket
Mouth Dreams was a good album, but for some reason I didn’t remember this track at first. I can, uh, see why that was now. A lot of Star Wars noises being thrown at me, kind of interesting structure, but not something I want to actively listen to really. More a one time novelty which is… not something I feel about most of Neil’s tracks honestly. Good choice as far as ‘chaotic’ goes with him, not so much as to what I like musically from him.
Total: 7.0 rating + 1.6 catfit + .0 familiarity = 8.6 points
Submitted by BrainpanSonata

18th:
Biesy - Nowa Transylwania
I feel like this song has some promise, but it ends before I really have a chance to get into it. There’s a weird video and screaming for a minute and a half, it starts toning down, I go “Neat intro, what’s that going to lead into?” and it’s gone. I can appreciate it for what it is but it just feels like a work in progress to me.
Total: 7.3 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.1 points
Submitted by Aladynn

17th:
Koenjihyakkei - Grembo Zavia
I like this, but it doesn’t strike the right bone with me to go higher than a mid-seven really. Reminds me of a Kinniku Shoujotai a little bit musically, which is a group that makes long, kind of weird metal songs I really like, but the vocals don’t really strike the impact as with them. The instrumental is interesting, but mainly just interesting to me. I don’t get sucked into it and vibe with it, but I appreciate it. Cool track, appreciated having heard of the group and there are some sections in here that grab me, but I’m just not into it.
Total: 7.5 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.3 points
Submitted by termi

16th:
Trollfest - Villanden
A fierce DUCKBEAST appears in front of your party of Norwegian metal band members. It uses QUACK. It is SUPER EFFECTIVE.
I feel that both points have been hit pretty well here. There’s a lot going on, and there’s the question of why they decided to make a metal song about the appearance of a fearsome DUCK filled with quacking noises. Much appreciated for the catfit and fun.
Total: 7.7 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.6 points
Submitted by Shad

15th:
Charlie XCX - Track10
I really didn’t expect this to be as good as it was from the first minute or so, but it really does get good. And as I looked forward to the rest on later listens, I ended up minding that start less. There’s some neat electronic effects, bass that’s willing to go a little more aggressive than it has to, and some nice layering of multiple elements. If it was willing to go harder that’d be ideal, but as is it’s still a fun, kind of experimental pop song. I like it.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.6 catfit + .8 familiarity = 10.2 points
Submitted by pisxel

14th:
Concrete Winds - Chromium Jaws
This album cover feels like an ink blot test and the music functions in a similar way, with me trying to grasp sounds from an ever-deforming blob of noise. I have no confusion on how or why this got made, but it’s definitely chaotic. My first instinct on this is to find it pleasant, and just move a little to the sound of it all. As for why and how much I like it… that’s honestly too much to expect me to figure out in one listen. I’ll need to come back to this.
Yeah, this is just an angry wall of noise, and hey, I like angry walls of noise. It makes me move around and just enjoy the pleasure of SCREAMING for a while, if y’know what I mean.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.6 points
Submitted by soah

13th:
Jerskin Fendrix - Black Hair
Yeah, this is weird. The cold open into a reference on Katy Perry’s Tick Tock, spoken word lyrics throughout, the ominous, slow feeling throughout with pitch shifted noises jumping about. Definitely inspires thoughts about how and why this came into being. As a song, this is a very cool experience and I appreciate the sub, production is super cool, as is the choice of weird electronic noises in the background.
Edit: I have been informed that Tick Tock is by Kesha, not Katy Perry. Whoopsie.
Total: 7.9 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.8 points
Submitted by Eagle

12th: [8.X mark passed, +.5 points]
Laurie Anderson - O Superman
I feel like I need to borrow one of the 2013 4chan posts on Samurai Flamenco to comment on this: “Clearly, they have something bigger in mind than what we're seeing now, but I really don't know what.”
I feel like there is some deep meaning to the lyrics and a reading I should get out of this, but I am drawing a complete blank. As for the music… it is kind of hypnotic. You can lose yourself in it.
A very enjoyable sub, and a subdued palette cleanser of sorts I suppose, before what lays ahead.
Total: 8.0 rating + 2.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by Schiavetto

11th:
Two Piece Squirrel - I Hate My Toaster
I can hear the age on this, and not in a bad way. This is some well-aged, early 2000s internet “funny” music. Sure, maybe the text to speech swearing at a toaster with excessive bleeping isn’t quite as fun as it used to be, and the guitar feels a little aged… but hey, it’s still fun!
Total: 8.1 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.3 points
Submitted by Racebandit

10th:
Powell ft. Dale Cornish - Do You Rotate
I’m really into the slow build going on here. We open with a sparse soundscape with little playing, and then it all builds up into this weird, everchanging beat. I like when the vocal sampling gets mixed in, I think it fits well with the rest of the samples.
…I wonder if this counts as plunderphonics? Not the sound I’d think of when it comes to it, but I haven’t listened to a ton of it.
Also, vanity read.
Total: 8.2 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.3 points
Submitted by vanity

9th:
Atols - Gafa
I’m not sure why this horrifying cat monster in the video is singing to me in the weirdest use of Miku’s voicebank I’ve heard in quite some time, but that’s the point of the category really. Mood of the whole thing is me being mildly unsettled, and I quite enjoy it. The beat is crunchy.
Total: 8.3 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.6 points
Submitted by Rainshaft

8th:
Vessel - Glory Glory (For Tippi)
This is a mix of mild classical vibes with layered electronic sounds, and to me it creates a sort of frantic, worried ballroom dance from another world entirely. I enjoy how the song never stays in one place for too long, and the atmosphere that this cultivates alongside the odd, hurried noises accompanying it. Definitely an odd experience, love it.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.7 points
Submitted by nutella

7th:
Passenger of Shit - Staple Tapeworms On My Penis
I’m not particularly familiar with Passenger of Shit, but I have known of and enjoyed this track in particular for a few years. Musically, fun loud noises, and lyrically, it is both too packed with meaning for me to analyze within the constraints of a walrus writeup, and too complex for me to fully unpack without a related degree and five years of experience. With that in mind, I leave you with a short parting comment:
I STAPLE TAPEWORMS ON MY PENIS
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.9 catfit + .5 familiarity = 11.3 points
Submitted by SchizoAffected

6th:
Chase Young (Clown Depot) - Music for Unproductive Zoomers
Do I really have to comment on this? I feel like it speaks for itself. I do? It’s my walrus? I created an implicit promise to deliver write-ups? Ok then.
I am an easily-amused creature whose attention can be kept by throwing synths and silly samples at me, or alternately, by jingling your keychain in my general direction. This fulfills that. It is the musical equivalent of a bunch of keys being jingled at me.
Total: 8.5 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.8 points
Submitted by Bloobird

5th:
Lady Gaga - Sine From Above (Chester Lockhart, Mood Killer & Lil Texas Remix)
How the fuck did Lady Gaga get to this point? Like, the fact that this is a Lady Gaga song is actually adding a ton to catfit here- I have not kept up with her career as I’ve never liked her music, and this is a BIG jump from the last stuff I heard from her. I get that she always had the ‘artsy’ lean to her, for lack of a better term, but this isn’t something I expected and I’m really confused. Musicwise, this is all over the place and I like it. Unconventional but great use of horns, heavy beats, random use of high-pitched vocals that make me wonder whether Lady Gaga will be releasing a nightcore album the next time I check. Take your points and let me figure this out later.
Total: 8.5 rating + 2.0 catfit + .6 familiarity = 11.6 point
Submitted by Lebossle

4th:
Deathspell Omega - Abscission
This is an absolutely annihilating wall of sound. The aggression is overwhelming, and I love the dark tone of the whole thing. While a similar but worse track might fly right past me as just a tangle of sounds I can’t really make much out of, this has something that grips me, and keeps me actively listening throughout. Sick guitars, percussion that makes me move, neat enough religious lyrical themes, this sounds like hell has begun its very own rapture.
Total: 8.6 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.9 points
Submitted by RBY

3rd:
Lonely Pirate Committee - He Was in the Father
Not gonna lie, I expected something like Alestorm from that band name. This is good too though. None of this song feels like it should fit together with each other, but at the same time it just… works. Love the shift from weird but chill song to aggressive confusion, and then into whatever the fuck the end is, it just doesn’t quite make sense and that’s the point really.
Total: 8.7 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.1 points
Submitted by MNIN West

2nd:
mizuirono_inu - Kimi no Uso to Mirai he
At first this sounds like someone took all their unfinished tracks and sewed them together to hit the runtime their contract stipulated on their album. That’s not a bad thing here. Frankly I’m not sure what to take of this track as a mood, as there are points that sound serious and there are points where it seems kind of shitposty. I looked up some lyrics and can tell this is separated up into five sections labeled as chapters, Rainy Case, Komugi’s Case, sashi’s Case, one named after the artist, and then one named after the song, but as to what that actually means… fuck if I know. Going through the lyrics in detail is more reading than is reasonable for me to do to decipher a single song and when I skimmed it seemed kind of abstract. From the lines I got I’ll put $5 on a depressing commentary on someone’s modern life and $5 on no deeper meaning. Musicwise, I really like the groove we settle into later on where it stops jumping around so much. Really enjoying the contrast between the calmer female vocals AND THE SCREAMING MAN. Instrumental is great and makes the whole thing feel kind of… ‘epic’, in a sense? Not like “EPIC CINEMATIC MUSIC COMPILATION 3 HOURS”, but like something of immense power has descending and it is time for the world to collapse.
Total: 8.9 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.3 points
Submitted by MNIN East

1st: [9.X mark passed, +1.0 point]
Mr Kindhoover - Emotion.wmv
Is this termi? This feels like it could be and if termi subbed this we have a ridiculous runaway lead for the time being. We have everything I love about ridiculous intense J-Core/breakcore tracks sampling from a bunch of anison for 10 seconds, just with a switch of source material. It’s short, it’s sweet, and it’s a party. Not gonna lie, the ending feels like a bit of a letdown after the middle building up into such a grooving move… but oh well, it doesn’t nullify all that has come before it.
Edit: Oh, it was Quas. Reverse jinxed I guess?


Total: 9.3 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 13.1 points
Submitted by LordQuas

Closer:
Tonetta - Pressure Zone
Tonetta has always been quite the enigma to me, and I think I prefer it that way, with him dancing in a thong and doing other such peculiar things while singing extremely sexually explicit songs that sometimes sound oddly good. The world is better with things I appreciate but don’t quite understand.
Belated warning to remove your children from the room if you’re going to listen to this, I suppose.

Next time is Category 5: I Wish which I... revealed yesterday on Discord. I sent out plenty of pings beforehand but, uh, sorry forum-only readers if you wished to join that.
On the bright side, the thread will be up to date within a day or so at the latest.
 
Category 5: I Wish

Header:

Infected Mushroom - I Wish
Ah yes, this song brings back memories.
Also, you have lost the game.

24th:
Veruca Salt - I Want It Now!
I never did watch the old version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. This is definitely a catfit and, well, that’s what I can say about it. Musically, not so good. Reads here are Brainpan first cause it’s musical stuff, and Moose if nothing else comes up this category.
Edit: Oh, it was Racebandit. I’ll agree with your comment on it.
Total: 4.5 rating + 2.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 7.5 points
Submitted by Racebandit

23rd:
Judy Garland and Murray Cutter - Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Well, I’ve definitely heard this, though it has been a while. We’ve got a mix of desire and… what’s the right word, optimism? Whimsy? Well, whatever it is, those two mix together here- grass is greener on the other side of the meteorological phenomenon, eh? As for the song itself, Judy Garland’s voice is pleasant, as is the composition, but it doesn’t really stir me- possibly because I’m not particularly nostalgic towards Wizard of Oz, despite seeing it as a kid. I can definitely see why someone would like it enough to send it, but I can’t entirely relate
Total: 5.8 rating + 1.9 catfit + .4 familiarity = 8.1 points
Submitted by Martin

22nd:
Lacrymosa - Se Tu M'ami
This isn’t unpleasant but it doesn’t really activate my almonds. An exception can be made if they emotionally stir me or feel, for a lack of a better word, beautiful to me, but slow piano ballads are generally not my kind of thing and that holds this time.
Total: 6.3 rating + 1.4 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 8.7 points
Submitted by Schiavetto

21st:
Carly Rae Jepsen - Your Type
This isn’t really my type. CRJ can be fun but I’m not really a pophead. This has grown on me a little more over multiple listens though. Doesn’t hit the same as ‘Call Me Maybe’ for me but hey, what does.
Also, why is the narrator on this music video reminding me of the narrator from Bastion?
Total: 6.6 rating + 1.6 catfit + .6 familiarity = 8.8 points
Submitted by pisxel

20th:
Turnover - Take My Head
Laurel read maybe? But then again, it gets kind of shoegazey later so maybe not- dobby and ladd would be decent reads if they were in this. Kind of milquetoast sound to me but the lyrics are pretty metal and fit the category. Appreciate the mood of this more than the song I suppose. Kind of like someone took rejected NiN lyrics and slapped them onto a random indie rock track.
As for whether the mood and my appreciation for how far the lyrics go in painting the character’s mental state can make up for me being kind of underwhelmed by the music… eh, we’ll see.
Total: 6.6 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 9.6 points
Submitted by vanity

19th:
James Chance - I Don’t Want to be Happy
This appeals to me and a weird man with weird instrumentals level, but I don’t think I could ever listen to this on a regular basis. I have no idea if this artist would literally be considered ‘outsider music’, but this track is the kind of thing I would describe as it. Worth listening to, interesting in concept, but not really the kind of thing I enthusiastically shove into my playlist and listen to regularly. Worth the experience though.
Total: 6.8 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 9.4 points
Submitted by MNIN West

18th:
Meg Myers - I Really Want You To Hate Me
Clicking on this my expectation was “calm guitar ballad” and I’m very thankful that that’s not exactly where we ended up. This ends up as an ‘all-right’ for me, but the passion in the signing is probably the best point for me here. It’s nice when the vocals can add as much to the mood as the instrumentation.
Total: 7.3 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.2 points
Submitted by Aladyyn

17th:
M.I.A. - Paper Planes
This is one of those songs where I go ‘Huh, I haven’t heard this in a whi- how the hell have I heard this so much?’ Catfit here is the chorus, and while I can’t relate to wanting to bang bang bang bang pull the thingy that goes back on the gun kaching it certainly is a thing. Not an amazing song, but it still holds up well after quite a few listens! Fun time.
Total: 7.4 rating + 1.5 catfit + .0 familiarity = 8.9 points
Submitted by Lebossle

16th:
The Beatles - Money (That's What I Want)
A Beatles sub, that’s rare. Martin read for 60s rock. Great catfit here, particularly with the repeating THAT’S- WHAT I WANT throughline. Not super huge on the Beatles myself nowadays, but this is a solid track. Puts out a little pressure and the guitar is cool here, although I’m not quite sure why it’s focusing on my left ear.
Total: 7.4 rating + 2.0 catfit + .3 familiarity = 9.7 points
Submitted by KarmaDope

15th:
SOSOSO - Looking for
I’m getting slight discount Persona OST vibes from this, and that’s not necessarily meant in a bad way. Just that the instrumentals feel a tad artificial, and I like actual Persona OSTs better than the vibe this gives me. But this is still a good track. In particular I like the tuning, I think it does a good job at bringing out emotion from the voicebank.
Total: 7.6 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.3 points
Submitted by Rainshaft

14th:
pluffaduff - I Wish
Yo, pluffaduff, I subbed him to Quas’s last walrus. Good stuff. Guessing RB here since as I recall pluffaduff’s stuff is popular in the Clone Hero fandom. Gonna give a respectable heh to the alternate header submission. Not my favorite pluffaduff song (as previously alluded to, I subbed that to Quas), but it’s a funky little time. As for the catfit… well, the lyrics are Skee-lo’s I wish, may as well be the poster boy of the category.
Total: 7.6 rating + 2.0 catfit + .4 familiarity = 10.0 points
Submitted by Moose

13th:
Unknown Mortal Orchestra - Swim and Sleep (Like A Shark)
Last I recall this was a nutella band, right? Or was it Dobby who subbed this last time? Regardless, nutella read now. This would definitely be an interesting submission for the music video category, but as it ended up here I guess I’ll keep my commentary on the song. The extremely soft vocals and tone of the guitar make it all very relaxing, while everything still interests me enough to make me, well, enjoy it. Relaxing music to study to 24/7, or whatever those streams brand themselves as nowadays.
Total: 7.7 rating + 1.7 catfit + .7 familiarity = 10.1 points
Submitted by nutella

12th:
A Day To Remember - All I Want
...Karmadope or Laurel probably? Not super huge on the pop-punk-metal intersection this falls into but I like this! Really upbeat track that gets you motivated. Nothing stands out here to grip me, but it all goes together well. The final section is nice.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.5 points
Submitted by Laurel

11th:
Pearl Jam - Wishlist
Really enjoy the vocals here and how they build alongside the instrumental- never quite exploding out, but still managing to sound passionate. There is a longing here, for something, anything different, although he never quite goes off while singing about it.
…after all, he isn’t a neutron bomb.
Total: 7.9 rating + 2.0 catfit + .8 familiarity = 10.7 points
Submitted by Shad

10th:
Giles Corey - No One Is Ever Going to Want Me
I was going to say this was definitely a termi sub but upon glancing at the discord Quas and Martin have both subbed this exact song to walruses before, and Schia a different one, so I guess my ‘solid’ read is way more questionable than I think. The catfit feels slightly tangential here and I wouldn’t label ‘desire’ the main focus, but hey, it certainly fits, and the part focused on the catfit is memorable.
Edit: when I glanced over at the monitor I had this playing on my brain read the title as “No one is ever going to wank me” for a split second. I just thought I’d share that with all you lovely people.
Total: 8.0 rating + 1.6 catfit + .7 familiarity = 10.8 points
Submitted by SchizoAffected

9th:
Afsky - Angst
Hard soah read on this. I like how the lyrics seem to work with the album cover. Musically, this is one of the more aggressive approaches to the ‘I am currently dying’ message I have seen, but given the title it fits. Just as I was about to say that I was enjoying the song but wish it varied a bit more with runtime the change at 6 minutes came, and I really like it. Shifting from anger to begrudged acceptance, rain lingering behind. In the end birdsong can be heard, perhaps hinting to what may come after.
Or I’m overreading it, whatever, death of the author, my interpretation is mine.
Total: 8.0 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.1 points
Submitted by LordQuas

8th:
Liz Phair - Flower (Girly-Sound Version)
This is just now making me realize that we haven’t really seen a lot of sexual desire this category. Well, the impact of this will make up for that severalfold I suppose. The entire song is very minimalist but I would be lying if I didn’t say I love how hard this goes lyrically, regardless of the delivery. Other love songs might say things through a filter or ten, but no, not here- fuck you (literally).
Total: 8.1 rating + 2.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.6 points
Submitted by Bloobird

7th:
Yoko Oginome - Dancing Hero (Eat You Up)
This is extremely fun and seeps 80s from every pore. The beat is powerful, the singer unwilling to hold back, and the mood fits the question; this isn’t a serious romance, nor a serious romance song- she just wants to know if you want to dance tonight.
Total: 8.2 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.4 points
Submitted by R-B-Y

6th:
Stromae - Papaoutai
I like the 50s-60s suburbia design on the music video, although I feel like there are better uses for it than a bunch of people dancing to it while wubs play. Assisting me in proving that every time there’s a cat like this I don’t just mentally ctrl + f for my keyword and randomly generate a catfit score, despite the subtitles not mentioning the word ‘want’, ‘wanna’, or ‘desire’ once we certainly have a catfit. This rides a fine line between being kind of overly pop EDMy and just being fun, and for it falls on the right side of that. The hook is catchy and that quieter guitar(?) line under the bass in the dance sections puts a lot of work in. My ears like it, and it would more than qualify for the dance category.
Total: 8.2 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by BrainpanSonata

5th:
Jorja Chalmers - I’ll Be Waiting
First thoughts: wow that’s some cool sax and oh no is that her voice yes it is. But after a bit I adjust to that surprise, and get into the track. A slow beat and accompanying moody sax, all combining to give a feeling of… not quite longing? Patience and willpower perhaps-, in hoping to see the one they’re waiting for.
Edit: wondered if I was going to sound like a tool if I went “there is a slightly more appropriate term to what I mean than patience and willpower but it’s not in English” but apparently the word I thought was more appropriate has its own Wikipedia page to describe it in English so at least I have the validation of one other nerd that there is a difference
‘Gaman (我慢) is a Japanese term of Zen Buddhist origin which means "enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity"’
So yeah, I’m getting gaman vibes from this.
Total: 8.3 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by Eagle4

4th:
mi-gu - From Space
Yup, I definitely get the space part of this composition. Floaty, slightly stilted vocals, a synth that sounds unearthly, and a movement into strings and a slow, morose crawl through the lonely galaxy. The catfit feels a little incidental but… oh well, it repeats and it’s a good song regardless.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.4 points
Submitted by MNIN East

3rd:
Parliament - Give Up The Funk (Tear The Roof Off The Sucker)
Oh, I haven’t heard this in so, so long. Carries a solid vibe throughout, and makes a very persuasive argument for its main point. WE WANT THE FUNK. GIVE UP THE FUNK. The hordes of funkalicious masses storm the treasuries, seizing the groove for the people. Cries of “WE NEED THE FUNK! WE GOTTA HAVE THE FUNK!” can be heard as the Bastille burns and the funk is redistributed to the masses.
Pictured below: The funk being released from its ancient prison.

Total: 8.4 rating + 1.8 catfit + .7 familiarity = 11.4 points
Submitted by termi

2nd:
Nightwish - Wish I Had An Angel
I’ve listened to a decent amount of Nightwish before but clearly not enough or recently enough, as I didn’t expect this song to be this heavy. Is it also cheesy? Yes. Am I completely fine with that? Also yes. Silly symphonic power metal is always a good time and the guitar on the chorus is great. I like what they’re doing with those organ sounds lurking around in the background too.
Total: 8.5 rating + 1.9 catfit + .6 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by soah

1st;
Lords of Acid - I Must Increase My Bust
Oddly enough this is not the only song I have encountered about the temptuous conflict between big and small breasts, I can think of three off the top of my head, but it is without a shadow of a doubt the one that goes the hardest. No, begone with the minimalist presentation of Flower- techno is taking over this time, and it’s armed. I MUST. I MUST. I MUST INCREASE MY BUST.
Edit: make that four songs
Total: 8.7 rating + 2.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.2 points
Submitted by hollowkatt

Closer:
Arai Akino - Wanna Be An Angel
It seems the Macross has leaked from the next category into this category’s closer. So this is the true power of Category 6.
https://macross.fandom.com/wiki/WANNA_BE_AN_ANGEL#English_



NEXT TIME ON BLOODY WALRUS 2022: Category 6: Macross 7
ORE NO UTA O KIKEEEE (Macross 7 spoilers for those who care)
 
Category 6: Macross 7
Header:

Fire Bomber - Totsugeki Love Heart (Duet vet.)
the lyrics of this and the fact that a man in a flying space robot continually interrupts space battles with it says more about this category than I ever could
`LET'S DANCE The stars are singing too
We can do it, if only for a moment
If we flap our wings ROCK WITH ME
BABY We can handle it, so
Don't let go of my hand.
Listen to my song (LISTEN TO MY SONG)
Give it some power! (IT'S SO EASY)
Don't give up, even 'til the end!

24th:
Zedd ft. Jon Bellion - Beautiful Now
And after just starting off a writeup with “this is the first song this category where I’ve been kind of confused why it’s here” I run into a second one. Doesn’t really seem to fit here, although, granted, it is at least generally positive in tone, both lyrically and aurally and I can see how it could have ended up subbed. As for the song itself, it’s fine. Not huge on “generic” EDM but it’s pleasant enough that I wouldn’t change radio stations if this came on. I like the message.
Total: 6.0 rating + 1.1 catfit + .7 familiarity = 7.8 points
Submitted by Laurel

23rd:
Poppy - X
I like the genre clash here, with a mix of poppy sections and harder stuff. Usually am a fan of whiplash like that. That’s why I’m kind of sad that I don’t really like this. Like the premise of the track and the actual instrumentals but I really really don’t like the vocalist. It is very much the opposite of what I like, and while it definitely lends a lot of credibility to the lighter sections feeling natural and can add to the whiplash moving to heavier parts, I just can’t get into it despite trying. Respect the sub though.
Total: 6.5 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 9.3 points
Submitted by pisxels

22nd:
Esperanza Spalding - Good Lava
I think this is the first song this category where I’ve been kind of confused why it’s here. It doesn’t feel particularly upbeat or silly, I wouldn’t call it in my face, and there’s no shredding or anything. Weird sub. As for the actual song though, I don’t dislike it. The tone of the guitar is nice and it feels pretty mathy.
Total: 7.0 rating + .6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 8.6 points
Submitted by Schiavetto

21st
Alice Deejay - The Lonely One
Do you think you’re better off aloooo- oops, wrong song. Ok, now that I lampshaded the big hit for anyone who missed it, onto this. This is happy and so aggressively upbeat that it finds a place here. As for the song itself, I like it, but it refuses to stick in my head. My opinions flow in one ear and out the other, settling as “definitely listenable, but I’m never gonna look this up after the rave is over”.
Total: 7.4 rating + 1.7 catfit + .7 familiarity = 9.8 points
Submitted by termi

20th:
Gordon McNeil - Conflict
So, this is part of the OST for Cthulhu Saves the World, and I’m gonna start off speaking on your note with this song, about how you got that and Breath of Death VII in some cheap bundle and never got around to playing this. I’m, uh, in the exact same situation it seems. I have no idea when I purchased the two, but they are in my Steam library, and I have never played either of them. Oh Humble Bundle, how the ‘value’ lures me-
Anyways, the music.
It is a video game battle encounter track, and while I’d say it’s above average at being that, at the same time I don’t really feel like I’m digging it as active listening. I think it’d get the endorphins pumping during battles and not get as old as most RPG themes in the many hours of random encounters I assume I’d endure, I’m not chomping at the bit to listen to it. A good, exciting song. I’m a fan of the horn section.
Total: 7.5 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.0 points
Submitted by RaceBandit

19th:
Angelica Garcia - Guadalupe
I feel a little bad that I don’t like this more. This flailing woman is aggressively pop-adjacent singing at me while the beat goes wild and weird visuals flash on screen. This is a cool song that I can vibe to even if it doesn’t quite scratch my itch though. Weird enough, and goes hard enough- I’ll need to check this artist out if the rest of their work sounds similar.
Total: 7.6 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.2 points
Submitted by Eagle

18th:
Star One – Revel In Time (ft Brandon Yeagley, Adrian Vandenberg)
This comes in pretty high on the fun-o-meter. Unapologetically silly and powermetally, which, grading this first, I expect to be one of the big approaches to this category. I feel like it could go slightly more upbeat, but oh well, more fun. Vocalist isn’t my favorite but he’s nice and reminds me of Jack Black of Tenacious D fame a bit. …Which now that I think of it I might also see this category.
Total: 7.6 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.3 points
Submitted by KarmaDope

17th:
100 gecs - 745 sticky (Black Dresses Remix)
gecs gecs gecs gecs
I saw someone give gecs last place recently, dunno who, and while I dunno where this’ll fall it’s definitely not last. Here in BLOODYrus we do not disrespect gecs so. Pitched-up screaming and stupid electronic noises are, like, my bread and butter. Reaches the bar on fun and silliness well enough, and while it’s not painfully catchy enough like some other gec songs to make me think “I love this” it is still enjoyable.
Total: 7.7 rating + 1.7 catfit + .5 familiarity = 9.9 points
Submitted by Lebossle

16th:
Boolus - You’re A Gun God
A fight between an upbeat instrumental and slayin’ lyrics, and a shitpost of might proportions to boot. Fear the Moose, lest you someday be gored on his horns.
Total: 7.7 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.4 points
Submitted by Moose

15th:
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult - After the Flesh
I get why this would be considered fun but I’m not sure it reaches my fun bar for this category. Pretty cool track regardless though. The cut up sample of the woman speaking is awesome and how all the samples are put together in general makes for a really interesting track. I should save this song in case I ever run a post-apocalyptic forum/tabletop game of any sort, this is giving me some solid visuals of a ruined city haunted by Mad Max-esque gangs and such.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.3 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.1 points
Submitted by hollowkatt

14th:
One Minute Winter - Toilet Issue (Deathwish Version)
A song in which we learn that Miku is a pro gamer, but not enough of one to pee in a bottle. Like the guitar on this a lot, it may not necessarily go super hard outside of the solo but how it combines with the through-beat is very impressive.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.4 points
Submitted by Rainshaft

13th:
Saitama Saisyu Heiki (S.S.H) - Lightning Strikes Again
There is unfortunately no singing to yell at the ones fighting, but this does certainly fit the definition of “over the top space fight music with shredding”, I’ll give you that. The instrumentation is a little dated but I think this works really well regardless- old video game OSTs don’t always have to sound kind of jank. As for what we have here… it’s shredding, shredding, and damn, wouldn’t you know it, more shredding. And for being basically a 5 minute guitar solo, I appreciate it- it goes hard.
Total: 7.9 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.6 points
Submitted by LordQuas

12th:
Moron Police - Captain Awkward
Wow, this dude is a dork. That being said, he’s a fun dork who knows about cinema, mountain-climbing, and going doodoobadoodoo with his guitar and lip flaps. This certainly isn’t the best thing in this category, but hey, listening to this puts a smile on my face and that’s good enough. Really dig the jazzy mathy guitar too, I can see some very promising uses for it.
Total: 7.9 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.7 points
Submitted by SchizoAffected

11th:
9am6master - nuclear
Thank you gec number 96, Chinese branch. The bass slaps and… yeah, that’s the main point I guess, this slaps and I don’t have much else to say, sorry MNIN. Can I scream gecs again?
gecs gecs gecs gecs gecs gecs gecs gecs
gecs gecs gecs gecs
Total: 8.0 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.1 points
Submitted by MNIN East

10th:
The Crown - Total Satan
TOTAL SATANNNNNN, TOTAL SATANNNNN. I dare say this might go a little too hard for what I had in mind but it’s definitely silly and self-indulgent, like Shad’s GWAR sub and so it finds a place here.
Total: 8.0 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.2 points
Submitted by Shad

9th:
FEUERSCHWANZ - Warriors Of The World United
I’m going to assume this is metal viking music. Aladyyn likes this kind of stuff, I’ll guess him. The lyrics and delivery on this are as silly as what I expected for this category and I like it. We are fighting for the metal, we are warriors rargh rargh, that’s it really, raise your sword. No room for complicated metaphors or lyrics about the destruction of all here, we’re all gonna chant in facepaint and armor while a dude pleasantly yells over it. A fan of the execution, the group-singing and battle song sort of theme goes well together.
Total: 8.0 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.3 points
Submitted by soah

8th:
J. A. Seazer - Absolute Destiny Apocalypse
Hello yes, I have arrived with a small opera, an electric guitar, and a chest full of midis like the composer requested. This song does do the whole ‘death and destruction’ sort of lyrics, but it doesn’t sound angry enough for me to take it seriously. No, this is self-indulgently over-the-top enough for it to be a definite fit here and it’s one of the likely many songs this category where I’d go “it would be so funny if this played every time I entered a room” (the first three times or so, then it’d be terrible, and then funny again in another 30).
Oh yeah, and a song from a 90s anime got subbed to the category named after a 90s anime, who would’ve guessed. I need to get around to this at some point, I’ve always heard good stuff about Utena.
Edit: wait, what, Rinbu Revolution is from Utena too? I’ve been listening to that a ton lately, ok, you’re on the list, hopefully after I finish Space Battleship Yamato. As a somewhat embarrassing addition to that, I hadn’t quite realized that it was Utena because my brain thought it was from Case Closed. The ZARD openings sound kind of similar, as well as Koi wa Thrill, Shock, and Suspense, so my head just tied them together.
Total: 8.1 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.4 points
Submitted by nutella

7th:
Bumper - You Can Get It
This is, uh, a very good catfit for Category 10. I also like it. The instrumental is very active while still being relaxing, and it all melts together into a nice auditory cushion to sit back on. I just don’t know why it’s here, to the point where I’m going to check if I got this wrong right after I finish writing this. Although, while it doesn’t get the energy I was going for this category, it does get the upbeat part at least.
Total: 8.2 rating + .8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.5 points
Submitted by vanity

6th:
ATEEZ - The Real
AWAKEN MY MASTE- oh, it’s just a K-Pop boy band, never mind. I’m probably going to get some side-eye for saying that this song feels more aggressive than a lot of the metal songs I listen to, but hey, it does. It makes you listen to it, whether you want to or not- there’s no zoning out here, like you might during your 15 minute atmospheric black metal noise wall of choice. And once you’re made to listen to it, that’s it really- there’s no getting off ATEEZ’s wild ride.
Also, I made an Aldyyn read earlier, that’s obviously null and void now.
Total: 8.2 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by Aladyyn

5th:
Rhapsody of Fire - The Last Winged Unicorn
OH HORNED BEAST, FLY, FLY, AND SEIZE THE THRONE OF THIS UNHOLY REALM. BECOME KING OF A KINGLESS WORLD, AND USHER IN A NEW ERA.
FLYYYYYYYYYYY
Total: 8.3 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.7 points
Submitted by Bloobird

4th:
Stratovarius - Destiny
A lot of times with power metal stuff I go “This is inherently cheesy but that is fine and quite possibly a plus”, but honestly, this goes so hard I can’t say that here. The hype overrides any cheese. Love the instrumental on this track, it encapsulates the full meaning behind the word ‘shred’. And with it comes a song with a very ambitious scope- Destiny is a power metal ballad on a journey, and jumps around between subdued crooning to VRRRRR as it pleases.
A rockin’ time.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.6 points
Submitted by R-B-Y

3rd:
SPARKS - This Town Ain’t Big Enough For Both Of Us
This song isn’t horribly silly lyrically, or inherently cheesy, but in my extremely biased opinion it still feels like a catfit. It’s just fun, without any of that. Pulls you into a groove and refuses to let you go, and that’s all it needs to do. Combination of this old synth and somewhat prog/psychedelic rock reminiscent instrumentation rocks my world.
Edit: this autoplayed into Tryouts for the Human Race and that is one hell of a banger
Total: 8.7 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.9 points
Submitted by Martin

2nd:
IShowSpeed - F.U.C.
Hey, it’s the weird J-Core albums I listen to but with all the anime samples replaced and 2.7 million views instead of 270 views. This is great. I love this. In your face and aggressively upbeat- fits right in with this category, even if it is a bit more an attempt to get some space fucking than anything else in this scenario.
But hey, maybe some space fucking is what we need.
Total: 8.8 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.2 points
Submitted by MNIN West

1st:
Electric Callboy - Pump It
This chorus is horrendously catchy and this hits my sweet spot on silly sounding death metal just like Lady Baby and his related projects. If I ever do enough exercise to warrant a playlist then this is definitely going on it, alongside Maximum the Hormone’s metal/funk(?) track about losing weight. This isn’t what I was expecting when I initially wrote the category, although once I added the examples I could’ve guessed at something like this, but at the same time it is an exact catfit.
Edit: you cannot fathom how much I have listened to this while grading this category

Total: 9.1 rating + 2.0 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 13.1 points
Submitted by BrainpanSonata

Closer:
Fire Bomber - New Frontier
NEXT TIME ON BLOODY WALRUS 2022: THE MACROSS OVA CATE-
Oh, wait, that’s wrong.
Next time is Category 7: Announcement: I Am Cute.
Get ready for sugar sweet synths and being dragged into the sludge of oblivion.

 
The next category Category 7: Announcement: I Am Cute will be revealed in.... checks notes
...just a tad over two hours from now.
Huh, normally that's supposed to be like a week or something but this post got up a little late. Thank god for Discord pings, right?
 
Category 7: Announcement: I Am Cute
Header:

nenpulse - Attention: I Am Cute (nenpulse bootleg)
Alright, time to kick this thing off. Dunno if it’ll be the same for everybody else, but I know I’m gonna have fun with this category.

24th:
White Suns - xenobiotics
So, I got done graded, counted, went “Oh, I have 23 songs, not 24.” and went attaching names to songs to figure out which one I missed. for around 20 songs I went “Oh, yeah, I recognize this” and then this slammed me in the face with a wall of noise. As a concept I love this track and it is just an EXPERIENCE, but as for actual listening… it’s pretty cool and I will remember this but I never want to listen to this again. Also, I got trolled.

Total: 4.6 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 7.4 points
Submitted by MNIN West

23rd:
Converge - Blood Moon
I don’t know quite what to feel about this. The song tries to set a dark mood but it doesn’t really capture me so I’m just sitting here listening to a slow musical crawl that doesn’t really impact me. The vocals are fine but not heavy enough to really work for me, and it’s all kind of just… ok to me. I don’t dislike this but I can’t bring myself to like this due to some stylistic mismatch I’m feeling.
Total: 6.0 rating + 1.6 catfit + .8 familiarity = 8.4 points
Submitted by soah

22nd:
Slipknot - Not Long For This World
This is more aggression than a “dark” mood to me, but eh. When I listen to Slipknot I usually listen to the ‘fun’ stuff they’re popular for, Psychosocial, etc.but this is an interesting change of pace as I haven’t gone too deep into their discography. Karmadope read.
Total: 6.4 rating + 1.3 catfit + .6 familiarity = 8.3 points
Submitted by KarmaDope

21st:
Spewcups - Takyon Chicks
The moose (in North America) or elk (in Eurasia) (Alces alces) is a member of the New World deer subfamily and is the largest and heaviest extant species in the deer family. Most adult male moose have distinctive broad, palmate ("open-hand shaped") antlers; most other members of the deer family have antlers with a dendritic ("twig-like") configuration. Moose typically inhabit boreal forests and temperate broadleaf and mixed forests of the Northern Hemisphere in temperate to subarctic climates. Hunting and other human activities have caused a reduction in the size of the moose's range over time. It has been reintroduced to some of its former habitats. Currently, most moose occur in Canada, Alaska, New England (with Maine having the most of the lower 48 states), New York State, Fennoscandia, the Baltic states, Poland, Kazakhstan, and Russia.
Its diet consists of both terrestrial and aquatic vegetation. Predators of moose include wolves, bears, humans and (rarely) wolverines. Unlike most other deer species, moose do not form herds and are solitary animals, aside from calves who remain with their mother until the cow begins estrus (typically at 18 months after birth of the calf), at which point the cow chases them away. Although generally slow-moving and sedentary, moose can become aggressive, and move quickly if angered or startled. Their mating season in the autumn features energetic fights between males competing for a female.
Total: 7.0 rating + 1.3 catfit + .6 familiarity = 8.9 points
Submitted by Moose

20th:
Gabry Ponte, LUM!X, Prezioso - Thunder
This sounds like something out of a video called “8 HOUR NIGHTCORE COLLECTION FOR GAMING” posted in 2012 and that makes me very conflicted. If this were like 2016 I probably would’ve rated this very highly because I liked this kind of stuff a lot more then. As it is I can appreciate the rave spirit and after a listen to get used to it groove along. Not quite my thing anymore but it still hits the same points that used to for me. Happy, upbeat, helps me focus.
Total: 7.2 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 9.8 points
Submitted by Laurel

19th:
Kanaria - Dark Happy
This feels halloweeny to me. Generally happy with some ‘dark’ sounds thrown in that don’t really change the tone because, well, it’s a holiday. I personally wouldn’t label this as ‘cute’, but I would call it upbeat. A dance down the street with some of your skeleton friends wearing tophats, that sort of thing.
Total: 7.3 rating + 1.4 catfit + .7 familiarity = 9.4 points
Submitted by Rainshaft
https://vocaloidlyrics.fandom.com/wiki/ダークハッピー_(Dark_Happy

18th:
Nine Inch Nails - Physical (You're So)
Yeah, I’ll put this down as a dark sound. Trent making weird noises into the microphone at you, the everpresent discord and reverb on the guitar- it sets a mood. Lyrics not really, but hey, it’s a cover. Like NIN’s stuff but while this is good it isn’t really great to me. Lacking a bit of the darker touch if that makes sense. hollowkatt read.
Total: 7.4 rating + 1.6 catfit + .3 familiarity = 9.3 points
Submitted by hollowkatt

17th:
I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - From The Gallows
This is marked as an attempt at both and I get it, but neither quite fits what I intended for this category. An attempt is an attempt though, and it’s not completely off the mark. Not a unicorn being dragged into the cosmic sludge mayhaps, but it passes for a relaxing ride along the swan boat leading into eternity.
Total: 7.5 rating + 1.1 catfit + .7 familiarity = 9.3 points
Submitted by BrainpanSonata

16th-1:
Lee Jin Ah - Yum Yum Yum
The lyrics to this are surprisingly… I’m not sure I’d say dark, but not happy for such a happy-sounding song. Positive message overall I guess- I’m forgetting you and getting over you, that sort of thing. Anyways, song sounds pretty happy and bounces around between being a jazzy longue song and having more poppy sections. It is overall pleasant, although the fact that I am not really one for long piano solos drags it down a little, that part isn’t bad either- like, you get some solid groove out of the piano when it starts picking back up. Probably wouldn’t put it on rotation but this is a fun track to move around a little to.
Total: 7.6 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.2 points
Submitted by MNIN East

16th-2:
Love Lost But Not Forgotten - Save Me From the Outside World
With this category I was thinking more doomy sludge stuff than aggressive metal, but this is cool too. It has some moodier sections and some of complete cacophony, where a coven of banshees appear to be screaming at me. Appreciate the short and sweet approach after listening to a lot of longer tracks, and the climax is pretty cool.
Total: 7.6 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.2 points
Submitted by LordQuas

14th:
Black Dresses - Bliss and Stupidity
I feel like this tries to straddle both while overall leaning towards a darker mood, kind of struggling to hit either in the process. Vocals are weird, but not in a specifically bad way. Like how it edges on just angry-sounding moans at points. The lack of energy feels appropriate matched with the instrumental here, which is kind of just… out of energy. That’s a pretty apt descriptor for the whole thing. They were gonna be happy, but then their battery ran out and they couldn't be arsed. Sometimes you just don’t have enough of a charge, y’know? Can’t be happy all the time.
Total: 7.7 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.2 points
Submitted by Schiavetto

13th:
Yasutaka Nakata ft. Charli XCX & Kyary Pamyu Pamyu - Crazy Crazy
I’ve heard stuff from all the different people this is composed from but never this particular song, and I’m pleased by the outcome. This has some good vibes and a nice beat. It might not be a banger by any means, but it’s certainly a fun romp to chair-groove a little along to.
Total: 7.7 rating + 1.6 catfit + .6 familiarity = 9.9 points
Submitted by pisxel

12th:
Hot Freaks - Baby Boy
Is this the cute I was thinking of? No, not really. Does it count? Yeah, definitely. The instrumental is something out of a Hawaiian dancer sort of thing and the tone of voice throughout is sickly sweet. Overall pleasant and I like the little guitar solo. Not much that makes me go woah but I got nothing against it either. Nut read maybe?
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.5 points
Submitted by Bloobird

11th:
Yoshichika Kuriyama, Riko Hirai, Reina Kaihara, and Takanobu Terada - Fairy Dang-Sing
This does not deserve to be nearly as catchy as it is. They have that mecha sounding synthy bit that appears a couple of times and a pretty banging… what is this, a magical girl theme it’s crossed with? I’m just gonna call it a weird magical girl mecha mashup and call it a day, it sounds cool and I could feasibly here it playing during light mecha antics or a Precure arc finale.
And oh, hey, you found this from a SomethingAwful playthrough on LP archive! Funny coincidence, I’m using that for the first time in forever so I have someone to empathize with over a shitty PS2 game’s gameplay as I play through it. Small internet.
Edit: too catchy, breaching 8 range
Total: 8.0 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.2 points
Submitted by Racebandit

10th:
Kvadrat - Αποξένωση
I dig this. Mood is solid and overall it’s just a sonic pummeling. You’re a punching bag of meat and viscera for the drums, and the waves of sound will wash against you, eroding.
Total: 8.1 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.4 points
Submitted by Shad

9th:
StaticP - Always Be ^o^
(*・ω・)ノ
\( ̄▽ ̄)/
I’m going to get shit for this category for years, aren’t I?
Total: 8.2 rating + 2.0 catfit + .8 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by Martin

8th:
KOTONOHOUSE ft. Nanahira - Midnight Straight
Another Japanese electronic artist with a ft. Nanahira? Is it just me or does it seem like there’s a lot of those? Anyways, this has some great production. The way horns are mixed in in places is great and the beat feels alive throughout the track.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.8 catfit + .8 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by nutella

7th:
Mutiilation - Possessed And Immortal
This is a depressed goblin talking about its personal problems and getting steadily more riled up as his friend Rotbobs frantically slapps a bongo made from human skin behind him. This goblin’s problems are very moving, however, and I appreciate his guttural screaming. Would listen to again, give Rotbobs a second drum next to slap next time.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.8 points
Submitted by Aladyyn

6th:
Khante - Skin Coat
Now that I think about it a unicorn-skin coat sounds REALLY comfortable. I’d wear one if they weren’t so endangered. What I get from this song is a malicious force grabbing you by the ankles and clawing at you. Something inauspicious. A curse. Really like the second half and the slower approach to the theme. Wish the vibrating guitar showed up a little more, that was awesome.
Total: 8.5 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1 familiarity = 11.9 points
Submitted by termi

5th:
Five Pebbles - kiss
Tentative vanity read, although I could also see MNIN on this, but I feel that he would’ve just went full cute based on what he said after the last cat. I see the approach here, this is very much taking the unicorn behind the shed and beating it to about the point of unconsciousness with a golf club. Vague happiness covered in shoegaze emotions, and sort of just fading away.
Total: 8.6 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.8 points
Submitted by vanity

4th:
Otsuka Ai - Sakuranbo
Huh, I was just thinking of subbing this to another walrus before I saw someone subbed it to me. So, I can’t quite say I’ve heard this once a week for over half a decade, but I could say for certain that I hear it at least once a month. It is indeed a very cute and sugar sweet song, and makes me happy, as such things tend to do.
MOI IKKAI

Total: 8.7 rating + 1.8 catfit + .0 familiarity = 11.0 points
Submitted by R-B-Y

3rd:
DJ Sharpnel - LITTLE GOD CH@NNEL
Oh hey, it’s DJ Sharpnel. Heard a lot in passing and in a lot of J-Core DJ sets, although I’m young enough that I never really had the chance to listen to him (although it was apparently a duo early on) while he was still actively releasing stuff, and I never gave the discography a deep dive. Not a ton I say about this stuff- it’s what I expect and I like it, crank the beats and samples up capt’n.

Total: 8.8 rating + 1.9 catfit + .4 familiarity = 11.6 points
Submitted by Lebossle


2nd:
Backxwash ft. Ada Rook - I LIE HERE BURIED WITH MY RINGS AND MY DRESSES
Oh man, the production on this is absolutely raw, I love it. Bass like pots and pans and vocals that tell you to shut up and listen. Whole track makes me want to headbang in place. A supremely aggressive vehicle to deliver rap (I think the verses count, if not ignore me, I’m dumb?) through.
Total: 8.9 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.2 points
Submitted by Eagle

1st:
Koto - Pastel Passport
Oh yeah, this is some sick… does this count as alt idol? I think I’ll count it as an alt idol project and call it there, this is some sick electronic alt idol music. Love the 8-bit influence in this and the synths that result from it, it reminds me of Anamanaguchi. It gets in just enough speed while not necessarily going hard and is just a vibe of its own.
Total: 8.9 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 12.3 points
Submitted by SchizoAffected

Closer:
emoCosine - Love Kills U
And to top off a category where none of the cute/sludge dual subs really hit the mark mainly because fuck that’s hard to do in one song, here’s my own proposal for one.

And here's our scores after today!



Next time on BLOODY WALRUS 2022:
Category 8: Space Brothers
in which I forced a theme-fitting title onto a lonely space cat because goddamn I really wanted a lonely space cat.
 
Reveal is in... my watch is saying 12 hours, give or take a bit.
See you* then.

*you refers to a non-specific set of participants in this walrus, also including the empty set, and is not a legally binding statement that I will force you to attend
 
Category 8: Space Brothers
Unicorn - Feel So Moon
Does this fit at all for the actual category? No, I kind of forced a title on a space category I wanted to host anyways to fit the theming I’d already decided on for the walrus, and this is just the theme song of what title I forced on it. Just imagine it to be the excitement before your rocket suddenly runs out of fuel and you’re stuck drifting in the loneliness of space I guess.

24th:
John Cage - 4’33
Last time I listened to 4’33 it didn’t sound quite so much like a quiet tone played at a constant frequency for 4 minutes and 33 seconds.
Total: 3.0 rating + 2.0 catfit + .0 familiarity = 5.0 points
Submitted by Martin

23rd:
Peder B. Helland - Flying
After 20 minutes I can and might exercise veto power but… eh, it’s not like it’s a common thing. Unless I start getting enough super-long subs to reconsider it, there’s no problem with letting the occasional epic slide in.
As for this sub though, it’s, uh, not necessarily bad, just… overly ambient really. It feels like something you’d get off a CD for a meditation program, or something about communing with nature. Certainly a good catfit, but it doesn’t capture my attention at all. At least it’s not 4’33.
Total: 4.0 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 6.8 points
Submitted by Laurel

22nd:
Nightwish - Endlessness
This is a catfit lyrically but not sonically. In an endless space of loneliness, with not a single human being around for millions or billions of miles, power metal ballads are not quite what I think of as fitting the mood. I’ll take the half that fits though. As for the song itself, it’s fun. The violin is pretty and the vocals are pleasant. Not my favorite Nightwish by any means, but it’s good background music to listen to while doing stuff deserving of space power metal ballads.
Total: 7.2 rating + 1.4 catfit + .6 familiarity = 9.2 points
Submitted by KarmaDope

21st:
M83 - Moonchild
”Come on little boy, raise your skinny fists like antennas to heaven” - m83
This starts off a bit too upbeat for the category, but after moving into the instrumental and chanting section it feels like a much better fit- more ambient. And from there on we just get a sort of theme of… awe I’d like to say? I certainly get a feel of being awed by something from the chanting, and it’d be fitting for seeing the endless, empty universe spread out before oneself.
Total: 7.4 rating + 1.6 catfit + .8 familiarity = 9.8 points
Submitted by Bloobird

20th:
Nine Inch Nails - Your Touch
Very good, spacey feel to this track, particularly with those electronic tones. The somewhat ominous overtones are nice as well. Not something I’m going to get addicted to, but a cool, by-the-books space song. Wouldn’t blink an eye if I heard this on a sci-fi OST.
Total: 7.4 rating + 1.9 catfit + .3 familiarity = 9.6 points
Submitted by BrainpanSonata

19th:
Tangerine Dream - Birth of Liquid Plejades
Ah yes, now this is floating through space. Weird vibrato synths and the galaxy laid out before you through a frosted over helmet. Vaguely ominous noises, similar to that which metaphorically play if I attempt to grasp the scale of space or the second law of thermodynamics.
Great atmosphere but gets kind of tiring by the end. Wouldn’t want to actively listen to this but it could do well for moody reading music or something for a tabletop game.
Total: 7.4 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.3 points
Submitted by termi

18th:
Jean Michel Jarre - Oxygene, Pt. 1
Oh yeah, this is definitely spacey. Synths that hint at the unknown, and a flowing, subdued instrumental. Perhaps a bit optimistic sounding, but definitely space. This is definitely the kind of song I would describe as a soundscape, as it’s just kind of a tour through all the nice sounds the artist could think of while brainstorming. An enjoyable journey.
Total: 7.5 rating + 1.8 catfit + .7 familiarity = 10.0 points
Submitted by Lebossle

17th:
Iotunn - Voyage of the Garganey 1
Oh hey, it’s space. Oh hey, he’s growling in space. That’s cool. I’m not sure this screams ‘drifting through the universe’ at me, but it does scream. Overall this is a fun track and I enjoy the solos. This has grown after me more after a couple of listens and I’m really just starting to vibe along to it because it something I can’t just not enjoy.
Total: 7.7 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.2 points
Submitted by soah

16th:
Klein-R ft. Matana Roberts - For What Worth
Although it doesn’t quite fit with my perception of space for this cat, I do like the loneliness and repetition here. Kind of like being stuck in a washer of despair while a sax player mocks you. Pretty hypnotic- I have a feeling M7 would like it. (I think she goes by another name now but I can’t quite recall it? Tangrowth or Tangy I think?).
Overall oddly… relaxing to me if that makes sense? Kind of like the Vaporwave stuff but with a bit of an ‘edge’ that helps draw me in.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.5 points
Submitted by vanity

15th:
BLOOD INCANTATION - Inner Paths (to Outer Space)
I like this song, the riffs are pretty cool and a little mathy, but hey, can we focus on this music video? This is a really cool music video. The aesthetic is awesome, what with all the ancient space ruins and the enlarged atoms and mm. Not much to it but cool visuals.
So yeah, nice math riffs.
Total: 7.8 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.6 points
Submitted by LordQuas

14th:
Glen Stafford - Terran Theme 1
There’s definitely some spacy elements in here, likely because it is a song made for Starcraft, but despite that I’m not really getting the vibes this category is based around from this song. The ‘oooOOoooh’ sample and the slower parts kind of fit it, but whenever the song heats up it just feels like it’s off the mark. As for the song itself… better than I’d expect from unmarked OST music. The instrument that I’m assuming is a piano midi is something I’m really digging, and the drum soundkit is pretty cool too. A good track that gets you pumped up just enough to play RTS, but not quite enough to actually leave the internet cafe.
Total: 7.9 rating + 1.4 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.3 points
Submitted by RaceBandit

13th:
Son Lux — "Weight of Your Air"
I love the distorted chimes here. They give a sense of unease that really ties the track together. Not just loneliness but that… something isn’t quite right. We’ve wandered into forbidden space, abandoned by all, and something is after us. Y’know, Dead Space vibes or something.
Total: 7.9 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 10.7 points
Submitted by nutella

12th:
All Natural Lemon and Lime Flavors - Paradigm Somehow
Another song that’s a little too happy, but that doesn’t stop me from liking it. The backing sounds that seem to be almost chanting and the bursts of happy sounds are, sonically, much appreciated. This is more like bursting out into the universe to happily explore the unknown. Space is there, but not particularly existential.
Total: 8.0 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.0 points
Submitted by MNIN West

11th:
AVTechNo - Calendar
Oh hey, it’s a track made for Miku’s last birthday! A few days late on the grading for this one unfortunately, but oh well. The lyrics are really straightforward, listing off the months of the lunar calendar and a word or two associated with that month, all together it gives off a serene feeling of time flowing by. Very relaxing composition,.
Total: 8.0 rating + 1.6 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.1 points
Submitted by Rainshaft

10th:
advantage Lucy - solaris (milky way remix)
This is a bit too happy for me to call it a proper catfit, but it definitely gets the space part down. I like it- like one of the only two comments mentioned, it reminds me of Sweet Trip a bit. The main beat on this is kind of addictive and in all this is rather calming. Great sign.
Wonder if I could manage to not die inside playing Kerbal Space Program if this was on.
Total: 8.1 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.1 points
Submitted by MNIN East

9th:
MJ Guider - Agnus Dei: Large Dance Acknowledging the Ephemerality of All Things
So, I forgot to add a note that you switched and grabbed your old sub first while grading and while 15 minutes isn’t necessarily too long I found it extremely boring, no offense. 8 minutes worth of content and twice the running time if that makes sense. This is much more entertaining!
This song batters you. I don’t specifically think it has to be as far as ‘you are hurtling into a black hole’ to fit but I like that angle. It feels kind of harsh and… lamenting, I suppose? Like some sort of cosmic dirge.
Total: 8.2 rating + 1.8 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by Eagle4

8th:
Midnight Odyssey - Journey Across the Stars
This manages to produce a really convincing blend of floating through space and black metal noises and I appreciate that. It makes for a really cool atmosphere and all in all is rather awe-inspiring. Manages not to just make me appreciate the atmosphere, but get into it with well- those drums can get real heavy at times.
Total: 8.3 rating + 1.7 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.5 points
Submitted by Aladyyn

7th:
Phoebe Bridgers - Moon Song
nutella read. Not particularly spacy, but makes sense as a sub. Lonely guitar-driven ballad time! Vocals are very pleasant and the guitar is soulful. I enjoy the little add-ins besides that like the little “woo-oh” sample that plays a few times. Liked this a lot more than I expect and find the build towards the end particularly cool.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.4 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.3 points
Submitted by pisxel

6th:
Coil - Tainted Love
Oh man, this is a great reinterpretation of the original. Ominous bells tolling throughout, and a lethargic delivery devoid of energy. The whole song gives a sense of rot and corruption throughout. He gave all he could and now he’s metaphorically bleeding out on the floor of an old gothic church. Great track, as a final note, I really like those occasional harsh synths- they pack way more of a punch than in the original. termi read.
Total: 8.4 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.4 points
Submitted by hollowkatt

5th:
SilvaGunner - Whoa I'm in Space Cuba (SECRET BONUS CHIP MIX)
INTERIOR CROCODILE SPACE ALLIGATOR
Thank you Moose, I really wanted to listen to the guitar solo from the famous 1999 hit by Satana, Smooth, during this category. Just like Satana’s famous 1999 hit song, Smooth, which was featured on the album Supernatural, this is a smooth track. The parts all mix together into something more than their individual parts. Like a milkshake.
…a milkshake sounds good just about now.
Total: 8.5 rating + .1 catfit + .1 familiarity = 9.2 points
Submitted by Moose

4th:
Stars of the Lid - Central Texas
This is a good take on the silence and desolation of space that’s not a 4’33 joke. A subdued roaring lurks in the background, the only sound to accompany you in the void. Perhaps just something on the spaceship being loud. Perhaps… something a bit more ominous. The call of an outer god, perhaps?
Or perhaps it’s just the sound of a generator in Texas attempting to work after it hit 28 degrees the night before.
Total: 8.5 rating + 1.9 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.9 points
Submitted by Shad

3rd:
Cornelius - Star Fruits Surf Rider
Oh hey, I listened to part of this album for a solid month or so as part of Youtube’s “autoplay has decided that you will listen to this now program”, sparked by MNIN’s sub of one of the tracks off of it. I don’t remember this track though, so I’ll take it as new to me. This is… quite a bit more laidback than I would expect of this category, although I totally get that. Less a panicky existential crisis and more floating through the nebula, slowly dissolving. Enjoy the mix of smack you up bass and lighter, floaty elements.
Total: 8.6 rating + 1.6 catfit + .6 familiarity = 11.3 points
Submitted by SchizoAffected

2nd:
Apex - The Yearning
When did nikeas get his sub in? Must’ve missed that. This is an extremely solid drum and bass track, and I vibe with it throughout. Really enjoy the ancient-Chinese styled string throughout that adds a bit of flavor to everything. Doesn’t really fall into the zone of “What fits this cat” for me, but it is vaguely atmospheric and, for lack of a better word, weighty in sound, so I’ll place it in the general ballpark.
Total: 8.7 rating + 1.2 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.4 points
Submitted by R-B-Y

1st:
Sonnymoon - Just Before Dawn
The minimalist production on this works great with the idea of space in general. Single tones, beep and boops, and only a single light voice line. The pleasant tone is a slight draw from the cat this category, but musically this is great. Slow, deliberate, and soothing.
Total: 8.8 rating + 1.5 catfit + 1.0 familiarity = 11.8 points
Submitted by Schiavetto

Closer:
Joe Hisashi - Sonatine III (Be Over)
Sonatine was a good movie.
That is a completely natural and non-forced segue into the music video cat. Until next time!
 


And here are our scores after the latest installment! Category 9: Video Killed the Radio Star will be coming sometime on the weekend after next, and our final category the weekend following, assuming my free time remains unmolested by other commitments.
 

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