If OP Gets 30 Reacts I Will Eat An Entire Raw Onion (OP is a big fat phony)

[Albatross]

Look at you, chopping and weeping. Idiot.
Is this the way you go through life, your mind
A stopless knife, driven by your fantasy of truth,

Of lasting union--slashing away skin after skin
From things, ruin and tears your only signs
Of progress? Enough is enough.

Exert from Monologue for an Onion
By Suji Kwock Kim


So, my dear Smogoff users, why have I made this thread?
Because, most esteemed users, I was born with one simple need.
A need that has been supressed by Society.
A need that has left me scorned and mocked whichever way I turn.
A need that has come to define me as a person, and has
shaped the way I view the world.

I, dear Smogoff users, am thirsty for Onions
and will not be sated until I've had my fix.

So here's how this is gonna work. If this post gets 30 reacts of any nature,
be it Likes, Loves or Hahas,
I will take

This Onion

and eat it as though it were an apple

The Onion is currently being hidden in my fridge because
it'll go off if I leave it in my drawer and,
although the scent of rotting onion is very attractive,
I don't really want my room to smell like a compost heap just yet.

FQA

Q: Why Are You Doing This?
A: To Assert Dominance

Q: How Will We Know You Have Eaten The Onion
A: I Will Record Myself Eating It

Q: Has The Onion Given Consent?
A: Onions Can't Talk

Q: When Will You Eat The Onion
A: The Day We Reach 30 Reacts, At 2am

Q: Why 2am?
A: Witching Hour

If you have any other questions then feel free to ask below​

 

[Kalalokki]

what do you want me to do to you if you fail to eat it

 

[Fusion Flare]

Ha! Hahahah! Did you seriously think i’d fall for such a trick?

You fool. I know whats gonna happen if i react to your comment!! You’ll place me onto your reactor hitlist! Others may have fallen for this trick, but i’m a LITTLE more tougher than that. You’d have to pull some serious strings to get the better of me. Yep. I am a far more difficult opponent.

 

[Low-Key]

Ha! Hahahah! Did you seriously think i’d fall for such a trick?

You fool. I know whats gonna happen if i react to your comment!! You’ll place me onto your reactor hitlist! Others may have fallen for this trick, but i’m a LITTLE more tougher than that. You’d have to pull some serious strings to get the better of me. Yep. I am a far more difficult opponent.

we just want to see Albatr0ss eat the onion. it will be legendary and plus, it's legitimate

 

[Albatross]

what do you want me to do to you if you fail to eat it

I think the absolute humiliation of not being able to eat an entire raw onion will be enough of a punishment

Ha! Hahahah! Did you seriously think i’d fall for such a trick?

You fool. I know whats gonna happen if i react to your comment!! You’ll place me onto your reactor hitlist! Others may have fallen for this trick, but i’m a LITTLE more tougher than that. You’d have to pull some serious strings to get the better of me. Yep. I am a far more difficult opponent.

Man I honestly forgot about that thread lol. Yeah you really got me good but I'll get you next time user Fusion Flare

 

[Ullar]

can u start an OnionFans where we can pay u to do this

 

[earl]

I will not react to your post. You’re welcome

 

[cookie]

well since the thread needs to get reacts and not the OP, load em up boys

 

[Albatross]

well since the thread needs to get reacts and not the OP, load em up boys

Sorry yeah that's a typo, lemme fix that

 

[cookie]

Sorry yeah that's a typo, lemme fix that

too late, the contract has been written

 

[Snessy!]

it's pronounced un-yun

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

it's pronounced un-yun

un-yin, no?

 

[Snessy!]

un-yin, no?

that works too

 

[cityscapes]

you think this is impressive, bub? here in the computer science program each of us eats a cupful of glue with breakfast every morning

 

[Low-Key]

that works too

yeah i pronounce it like that

 

[GatoDelFuego]

Cmon, real gangsters don't peel it. They use every part of the onion

 

[phoopes]

oño

 

[a loser]

Ummm what happened to your wings?

 

[Albatross]

View attachment 336499
Ummm what happened to your wings?

They're detachable don't worry

 

[Darkinium]

32 reacts, eat the onion and prove you did it too

 

[S1nn0hC0nfirm3d]

Test Your Might​

 

[Albatross]

Ok so I only ate half, which isn't pog, but in my defence I gagged twice and now feel like I'm gonna be sick. Probably won't throw up, but I'll never look at onions the same way ever again. Moral of the story is don't eat raw onions on an empty stomach and chew your food before you swallow kids

Also I did record it, but I think it's probably best if I don't upload it, for hopefully obvious reasons. You'll have to take my word for it that I did actually eat the onion and that I do intensely regret it, and if you don't like that then fuck you ig

Anyways I'll give that a 2/10, too much onion, and will now act make like a tree and try to forget this thread exists

I am full of regret

 

[earl]

Speaking from experience, your breath will be pretty onion-y for a while

 

[Albatross]

Speaking from experience, your breath will be pretty onion-y for a while

Fuck, guess this is my life now

 

[Mova]

imagine disguising it in caramel as an apple lol